No rehearsal, meet up instead

Are you expecting guests to pay for their own food and drinks at this cocktail hour? If you're inviting people, you pay.

We just had a meeting and rehearsal at our house and provided food and drinks etc.

The rehearsal is for people to learn where to walk, stand and exit during the wedding. After that, go for burgers, fries and shakes.

Our bridal party isn't too large but luckily my FILs have offered to pay for dinner. I told her she and her husband can choose wherever they want to go since they are buying. (I hope they pick Mexican)

Since you have to pay on your own, try something a little cheaper. Burger shops are always a hit! After dinner if you want to just have some fun and drinks you could say you and FH are going and anyone is welcome to join you.

I like to have that alone time with everyone so we can talk and enjoy each other before the wedding so your party might want a sit down too. Especially if traveling.

To cut to the chase:

We're not having a rehearsal.

We wanted to spend more time with our guests, especially from out of town. But we can't afford anything more than what we're shelling out for the wedding.

Sounds like we should just go ahead and not rehearse, not meet up.

Since you're not paying, then no, you shouldn't be trying to organize this meet up.

@pammat: Rethink that one. Big day comes and nobody knows where to go or stand. YIKES!!!!!

In this situation I would skip the rehearsal dinner altogether if you don't have the money. Rehearse of course, but just don't have a dinner.

For the record I love Dave and Busters, and if you were paying, I'd be super on board with that idea.

I think it's fun, I wouldn't mention anything of RH or anything wedding related since you aren't hosting. Maybe word of mouth-you're getting together at Dave and busters and everyone is welcome if they wanted to come.

You can definitely rehearse (and I'd recommend this if it will calm your nerves or you have a large bridal party) but a rehearsal dinner for the whole wedding guest list isn't really the norm.

Just rehearse , thank the bridal party with pizza and beer, and then go relax before the big day!

If you are looking for ways to see your out of town guests you can always suggest outings in your area. We are from D.C. And we did a day touring the monuments with all the extended family.

Can you just throw a pizza party at one of your homes or a hotel guests are staying at?

I had a friend have her RD at a place similar a few years ago. They paid for dinner but games and drinks were on us. At the time I was a poor college student and I was pretty horrified that I needed to pay for this on top of my transportation to the out of state wedding, hideous dress & other things. It also was not easy to mix and mingle as those games aren't really set up for more than one or two people.

Is there something that you could do, maybe unique to your town the night before? I know we're planning on having an earlier rehearsal, casual dinner with everyone involved, then inviting all of our guest to go see the Christmas lights at the Zoo with us, with group rates, it should be around $8/person, and we're going to see if we can provide hot cocoa as well. We felt like this was a good way to get to spend more time with our guests without basically having a reception the night before the wedding as well.

A rehearsal dinner isn't even necessary UNLESS you're having a rehearsal the day before the wedding. You can definitely do a quick run through before the wedding happens.

We're going super casual with our rehearsal dinner (I'd be fine not even having a rehearsal but the church we're getting married in actually expects you to the night before.. they even tell you the time, you don't decide) and having a bonfire at my parents house with beer and pizza.

The OP has already said she isn't having a rehearsal at all. She just wants a "meet up" but isn't paying for it. It's better just to skip it.

And no SSJ, anyone who is having a rehearsal needs to provide a meal to the participants afterwards.

Yeah.. If you're not paying for it, you really shouldn't be inviting people to it. If it were just a bunch of friends meeting up, thats one thing, but this is a pre-wedding activity.

The only way I would think this would pass is if it were word of mouth - "hey we're going out for some games the night before to blow off some steam" then you're not really formally inviting them anywhere

No. No one needs a rehearsal; it's walking and standing, and you can accomplish that scenario by making the blueprint and cue sheet ahead of time (your officiant should help you) and doing a fast walk through on the day.

But if you decide to have one, it should be rehearsal participants and SO's only, and you pay.

If you're not paying, then don't invite anyone to any pre-wedding events. And even though you want to spend more time with people, you're going to relish a night 'off' before the wedding.

Consider doing a first look, which will get you into the party sooner.

I think that sounds nice - make sure you phrase it something like "as everyone's around before the formal celebrations if anyone would like to head over to X at X time we'll be there and it would be nice to see you"

Have you considered something more like a true cocktail hour event? Maybe you could have a pre-wedding "happy hour" at the hotel bar or another nearby bar. You could spread the word informally and host a few appetizers for guests to share and maybe 1 drink pp or subsidize drinks for a period of time.

Our budget is right there too. We decided to do rehearsal as a BBQ at my friend's house. We just getting the food prep the night before and drop the food off the day of rehearsal before we do the walk down. After we head back to my friend's house and my DF will do the BBQ. Basically we are just having the bridal party since my out of town guests is coming the day before the wedding and my rehearsal is August 15. My bridal party have came to our BBQs before.

We're doing something similar - no rehearsal whatsoever, but will be at a bar for a few drinks the night before the wedding (we're staying in a local hotel nearby) and will text the WP to let them know.

I would just be careful on the wording so that people know it's really just a casual "stop by if you can" sort of thing, and don't misunderstand the payment situation.