No Registry = People Give Checks/Cash

Mehhh. I don't know about that. As a guest, I would NEVER come empty handed, even if the bride and groom expressed that they didn't want anything.

I agree with Kate. Also do you truly have nothing to register for? Everyone could use some upgrades.

@OGK just admitted on the thread about a similar topic that she wishes she registered. You'll find that type of response from quite a few married people on here.

If you aren't having a shower, you really don't need a registry.

Now, I don't know where you are from, but where I'm from, people don't give physical gifts at weddings only cash/cheques.

We skipped a registry and we received 99% cash/checks

ETA: we also skipped the bridal/wedding shower

@SuYa how did you answer when people asked you where you were registered or what you wanted?

We skipped the registry and bridal/wedding shower. Absolutely no one has asked me where I'm registered (I assume because I had no shower). Like @Jessie, people in my area bring a cash and/or a card to the wedding.

I had the exact conversation with people as OP, but people figured it out because that's what people do where I'm from. You're putting more thought into it than you need.

@Spaghetti I do kinda regret registering as there's been a couple things I've wanted that I've seen in stores recently and I'm like damn I shoulda registered for that... but for the most part I've just been too busy to add one more item to the list of things to get done... plus our venue has like NO space for gifts and I didn't want to try to explain that so I'm hoping not registering will mean people bring very few or hopefully no physical gifts.

People asked where you are registered and you answered. I'm not sure why someone would then ask what you want? If you wanted a boxed gift, you would have registered for one. I'm sorry people put you in such an awkward position. @Kate provided a great suggestion. Consider registering on Amazon since you have one of the biggest selections of gifts in the world. You don't have to register for household items - luggage, tech gadgets, food gifts (I really wanted a popcorn seasoning set), etc. are all valid options.

@OG Alrecia - I'm with you in that one!!

So if you're not sure if you're having a bridal shower you don't register? You register only after someone offers to host a shower? I'm seeing some variation in opinion on WW but haven't asked directly. Is it rude to register when you're not having a shower? I've heard people express that registering is a good guideline since some will want to send a physical gift no matter what even if there is no shower. I always assumed I would register but I don't want to be rude and nobody has offered a shower yet.

I completely agree! We had a lot of people ask where we were registered. I also don't agree that registries are mostly for the shower. Majority of my shower gifts were cash or gifts the person picked out. Not from the registry. The registry was used a lot for wedding gifts. People did not bring the gift to the wedding. They were shipped to our house a week or two before the wedding.

Also we had a lot of people not give us wedding gifts. Just because you would never do that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. A lot of my guests traveled to get to the wedding. Most of them did not give us a gift.

@Maria H - I'm not sure. I don't know wedding etiquette super well but I think you could register without a shower. I don't see anything wrong with that.

@OP - the registry would be more for people to buy gifts that are sent to your home (if you don't have a shower). I don't think its normal in most places (if anywhere at all?) to bring gifts to the actual wedding other than cards/cash.

If people really do want money, it's ok to say you're saving up for a house down payment/renovation, dream honeymoon, etc.

@Maria - it's totally fine to put together a registry before knowing if you'll have a shower. You don't have to include the registry on your wedding website (if you have one) but you'll have it in case people ask. And they will.

I have never been to a shower where people bought off-registry. It just doesn't happen in our circle.

Thank you someone who seems to understand the delima

Yeah I've given gifts from the registry as a wedding gift in the past. In college it made sense to me especially when older relatives were getting married. Here's something you can use that you registered for felt more comfortable for me than here's some money for your bday like I'm your aunt or something. Right now I'm much more comfortable giving a check but I grew up seeing people send registry gifts for the wedding. I'm marrying into a family from Jersey so I do want to be mindful of regional customs.

@catlady5x - no it's not awkward because I really don't want anything. I was just sharing my experience for the people who continually get told "don't register and you'll get cash". Had they taken that advice and did want cash gifts then how would they answer the question of "well what do you want" when they say they aren't registered? Just making a point that people WILL ask and I personally think it would be rude to answer cash.