No reception, but want a cocktail Party

Yeah, I know you OP, and every other newbie bride who doesn't want to host their guests. You do you, just remember this thread afterwards.

There's a reason this meme exist. People attend weddings and expect there to be a reception and for it to be fabulous.

People pay a lot of money to attend: clothes, missed time from work, baby sitters, travel, hotels, Uber...

A reception is a thank you for celebrating with us (the couple getting married).

It is rude to have people attend a wedding and not a reception.

If you are going to have a reception during a meal time, provide a meal.

You are a year out. You have time to cut your guest list if a small, immediate family only, intimate wedding/reception is what you want.

Most people here stated the obvious:

Be a good host. Provide for your guest. A cocktail reception, a cake & punch reception, or an intimate dinner reception.

If you don't want to plan: hire a planner.

Good Luck!

Also, have you ever been to a cocktail party or reception? Those things don't just happen overnight. They require just as much planning as a sit down meal. You still have tastings, linens, china, flatware and glassware to deal with. You have to coordinate with a venue and a caterer. A wedding is basically a large party, if you don't want to do this, elope.

All the other people did not give you sarcasm. You have dozens of sincere replies full of good advice here.

We had our wedding at 6:00. Our reception was held in the private dining space of a restaurant and consisted of heavy appetizers and an open bar. We had approximately 65 people in attendance and kept the guest list to immediate family and close friends that had been on our journey as a couple.

We didn't have a dance, but my husband and put together a play list that was played over the PA system during the reception. In terms of decorations, we chose to utilize what the restaurant would have normally done to decorate the room, which was great so we didn't have to spend extra money on that.

@Delfina-but it's easy to target me because I'm meanie, mean pants! Also, it deflects from the fact that every single person has told her the exact same thing: host properly or elope.

We are thinking along the lines of an intimate dinner following since most my family lives elsewhere so it'll be a small ceremony.

It's all about the way you deliver a message and many were delivered with nasty attitude or sarcasm.

Thanks to all the ladies that gave advice and didn't go out their way to be stank and mean. That understand I was just seeking some guidance. And that clearly this is all new to me and I just wanted some positive advice. KEY WORD POSITIVE!

@AL: Who wants to go to a wedding at an off hour, watch others get sloshed on cocktails and bacon wrapped wienies followed with no dinner or no dancing? Not me Buckaroo.

Flagged Viana.

Please. You did not get bullied, (and "bullies" doesn't get an apostrophe). You got ideas which you repeatedly ignored.

The end.

How have I not be receptive. I heard everyone's opinions. Have I made my mind up, no! I have an entire year. I LITERALLY just started to even think about what are options. What I can possibly do as far as a reception goes! And not feel like I have to do the old boring traditional thing which I personally don't wanna do.

LOL...and it continues to degrade, and as it does, all of the "woe is me, I know your pain" posters decide to dump their nonsense on a thread that's ripe for dumping.

Let's start with the most misogynistic of responses on this thread, courtesy of Vianna: "Throw a bunch of women (mostly, as I know that if I don't insert this bit I will hear a lot of "there are also men on here") in a chat room regardless of the topic and of course you're going to get snarky remarks." Really? Well, welcome to 1967.

Oh, how nice it was of Vianna to exclude men from the topic until she had to bite the bullet and sway, "Oh yeah, if I don't mention male community members....". After all, we harpies just like to throw in a few penises, now and then, to validate our otherwise pure estrogen fueled bitchfests, when it comes to proper hosting.

Did you, Vianna, ever consider that women might know what the hell they're talking about, despite their ovaries? No. Because you're probably doing something, related to wedding planning, that the gossipy bitches -- thrown together on this site -- would spot in an instant.

"Unfortunately it's the nature of the beast with this site". Nature of what beast? The proper hosting beast? The uterine beast? What beast?

I couldn't be bothered to read the second paragraph of that post because the first one was so absurd, and anything a woman has to say that is predicated on "a bunch of women thrown together" is nothing I need to know about.

@Nancy, I go to happy hour all the time.

Thank you for trashing, in one sentence, everyone else's plans for 'boring traditional' weddings; you know, the ones where guests are treated like they matter.

@Giselle I, Battery Gardens in Battery Park. The first wedding I went to in NYC (2009) was there, and I remember thinking it was such a beautiful location! I'm very excited to be getting married there. There are floor-to-ceiling windows and the view is of the harbor and Lady Liberty.

ETA after reading through more of the thread. Like I said, they offered a package tailored to our style that costs the same as the plated dinner, and I'll add stations because I want to be 100% certain that there is plenty of food. Also, you can contact them to see if it fits your budget but be aware that there is still can be a lot of planning involved. I'm still doing a DJ, photographer, and florist plus a bunch of fun ideas I have. However, I really like planning parties and this is fun for me. You can obviously do it on a very different scale.

Another thing that I don't know if anyone has mentioned is that many venues may not give you the option of a 2-3 hour event around 6pm, when they could be holding another, full-evening event. Though I guess if you were paying the same per head anyway, it wouldn't matter. Something to consider though...

Shaya, they do a fabulous job there. And the view is to die for.

I have a great idea!! How about a cocktail reception with a Cash Bar??? That really will be nontraditional.!!!

How does one plan something like this?

We're going to 3 weddings this year and 2 are only having a cocktail hour. Personally, I wish I had thought of this. It would have saved us so much money. It's the same as planning a reception, only you can serve cocktails and drinks instead of a full meal and some sort of entertainment.

Is this something that has to be my expense?

Yes, this would definitely be a part of your budget

Wow. I should tell all the guests who were at my wedding till 2am that it was actually boring. Guess they didn't get that between all the good food, booze, music and the fact that we really wanted them there.