No one is planning anything for me.

You’re allowed to be sad, but it’s not something I would focus on.

I think as a bride it’s your job to initiate it. Say hey let’s do the bridal shower on this date at this place, what do you need from me. That’s kinda what my best friend did when I was her maid of honor and what I’m doing with her!

Most of the time it’s not realistic for it to be planned without you at least initiating it. I helped pick a location and date to have it in then I’m telling her to let me know what she needs from me.

View Quoted Comment Oh okay, Thank you so much. I tried to telling them that I would like something and they started asking me about themselves. So maybe I need to plan that portion and see what happens.

I totally understand what you're saying because when i was a bride, no one really initiated it either. i think i had to express that i was even interested in it. and then that got the ball rolling. another thing is, it might even be a surprise? maybe they ARE planning it but aren't saying anything. and also i feel like if your wedding is far enough away, they will think there is plenty of time to put one together. so they may not even do anything til later on anyway. but it could be a good start to do as pp suggested and just initiate that you would ideally like one

View Quoted Comment Thank you Caytlyn,
I honestly don't know why it bothers me, but you made me feel better

View Quoted Comment Hi Melle,
I thought of the surprise aspect as well, if it is they are doing a really good job at keeping it a secret lol. My wedding is in August so maybe I'm putting too much thought into this.

I gave my Maid of Honor the date, and a guestlist with phone number. I also hinted what would be ok and what I was comfortable doing. Give them a little push and keep telling them how excited and appreciative you are for it.

View Quoted Comment I’d at least pick a few dates that work for you and help decided on where you’re going to have it. A lot of the times having younger bridesmaids you’ve got to initiate a bit. Once you do that it’ll definitely help!

During ordinary times (that is, not a pandemic), it's not a good idea to ask people to throw you a shower because throwing a shower is basically an expensive, time consuming gift. Would you ask for an expensive, time consuming gift for any reason not related to your wedding? Probably not.

People who like to throw parties often offer to throw bridal showers, but not everyone likes to or knows how to throw a party. Becoming a bridesmaid doesn't make one an automatic party planner. If no one offers, you are of course entitled to be sad. But then I would move on because your wedding itself is much more important and worthy of your attention.

All of that said, we are in the middle of a global pandemic and no one, even people who love planning parties, is planning parties right now. And since no one knows when this terrible time will actually end, hinting or outright asking for a party right now is not a good idea.

I think right now people are fighting for their health, their families, and their jobs as they’re all out on the line. I think as things get closer to June you’ll see more planning. Are you close with your mom? Maybe she could help spearhead the planning. A lot of times people want to help, but they are not sure how. It helps to have someone manage and delete the tasks (ordering food, decorations, selecting games, sending out invitations, etc.).


Have you set up a GroupMe or some kind of group text system with all your bridesmaids? Having them all in one group can help them have each other’s numbers and start coordinating. They may not even know who the other bridesmaids are or have their contact information yet, which could be keeping them from planning.
More than anything though, I think it just hasn’t been people’s priorities with everything going on and so much uncertainty.

Delegate* the tasks - typo, sorry!

View Quoted Comment Hi Maggie,
I didn't want anything expensive or crazy. I just wanted all of us (the girls) to get together. I understand right now isn't the perfect time to wonder about this as well. I just hope that a vaccine is found soon. Please stay safe and healthy.

View Quoted Comment

Don't worry, you can definitely invite your friends to get together at any [non-pandemic] time. Your friends are still your friends during wedding planning and getting together to have fun is not a problem. Just don't call it a shower (which overtly implies everyone give you gifts) or ask that someone else pay for a venue and food and you'll be fine.

I’m guessing it’s too far off to be worrying just yet. My bridal showers (family and friends, church and coworkers) were within three weeks of our wedding day of March 28th. And congratulations!!!