No Kids Rule

You should either allow all or no kids. It wouldn't be fair to allow some guests to bring their children, but not others. The only exception to the no kids rule are children in the wedding party and babies since babies rely on their moms to eat (if breastfeeding).

If you don’t want kids in attendance, stand your ground. Kids are all or none. If they choose not to attend, that is their prerogative. Some circles and families do not take kindly to the flowergirl/infants loophole so that will vary by crowd.

View Quoted Comment I’m thinking maybe we can have an age limit for only the older ones to be invited so it cuts down on all kids being there as well as there not being the little ones running around

All of our guest are out of town and most of our friends have kids, plus our kids. We are hiring a wedding sitter (actually a thing lol) and designating a space for them. We are also letting the parents know if they bring their kids, this will be provided so that the kids and adults can have fun.

View Quoted Comment

The only age limit that will not offend is keeping it at 18+ or 21+. Parents generally find the midway cutoff to be more chaotic than necessary, and are not going to look kindly on being able to bring a troublesome 16 year old while their 8 year old left at home is much better behaved in social settings. A large majority see kids as all or none. You do offend people when you give some guests privileges that others don’t get, though they will never tell you while they talk for years to each other.

View Quoted Comment

Arbitrary age cutoffs are typically even more frowned upon than just doing a no-kid wedding, especially if the age cutoff splits families up (like, Mr. and Mrs. Smith can bring their daughter Kim because she's 14, but their son Dylan has to stay home because he's 9).

While I, personally, am all for kids at weddings, I understand the appeal and the reasoning behind the no-kids. If you're doing it, DO it. Stand your ground. Yes, this probably means you'll get some declines, but the very first line of your post is "we don't want to have kids at the wedding." I get the feeling... you don't want to have kids at the wedding.

The exceptions to the no-kids rule are typically just

1. wedding party kids (flower girl, ring bearer, etc.), if you choose to have them

2. immediate family kids, if you want to have them, or

3. young infants who shouldn't be separated from a parent

View Quoted Comment Ugh I know, it’s hard with having family who I only see at special events and not being able to ever see their kids but there has to be a cut off because we do not want toddlers running around or 20 plus added on. And then friends also bringing kids... like it’s not a free event lol!

View Quoted Comment

There are frequent suggestions on the forum to host kid friendly family reunions at another time if you want to get together without the pressure or price tag of a wedding.

View Quoted Comment Yes I think we will be going with the immediate families kids.. it’s just there are some kids that do not behave at some events so we can only hope they don’t come. Having toddlers at the wedding is really our main concern.

View Quoted Comment

If you're worried about that, then definitely go hard-and-fast on no kids... even immediate family members. If you're putting someone on your invite list while simultaneously crossing your fingers that person DOESN'T come to the wedding: they shouldn't be on your invite list. If your immediate family includes the children you're concerned about, stand your ground and don't invite any kids.

As the vaccine is rolling out and things are opening back up (depending on where you are), I definitely agree with Michelle that it's a great time to make an effort to see family with all the kids (better yet, make a few different trip to break up the travel/not overwhelm yourself with a bunch of children).

Not having kids at ours either. The way I saw it, if they want to come and find a sitter awesome, and if they don’t that’s okay too. I’m not trying to deal with little kids on an already stressful day, but that’s just me lol.

Weddings/receptions are traditionally invite-only. Some couples welcome kids. Others specifically plan adults-only weddings. It's not an uncommon request. The people who crashed with children to an adults-only event were the etiquette breaches.

Back in the day it was known that weddings weren't a place for kid's. You didn't have to specifically request that it be kid free and you never had guest pushing back on the rule. I will never understand why people feel the need to bring their children. Kids do not want to be there and when they are bored from sitting and being quiet they become disruptive and difficult. I love all the children in my family but I just don't want parents having to constantly try to keep their kids on their best behavior and some parents don't actually parent their kids.


I agree with your fh and if you make this a rule remember it goes for all. You can't tell one person they can't bring their kids and tell another they can. If I was you I'd explain that do to the pandemic and venue that you are limited on space and therefore will not be including kids on the guest list.

Make the rule and stick to it. No is a complete sentence. No kids. Kids really truly do not belong at a wedding.


The one exception that is the hill I will die on is infants. Newborns are developing an attachment with their parents and should be kept together as much as possible. Though parents with infants should sit near a door during the ceremony incase the baby gets fussy or needa a change or food

I don't agree that it's all kids or no kids. You can easily invite the kids on your side if you'd rather have them there (or you want their parents to be more likely to come and you think they wont if kids can't come). I think his side is his decision!

View Quoted Comment

I do agree with this though. The only appropriate age cutoffs are 18 or 21. In my experience and 8 year old is way more excited to go to a big fun event than a 16 year old. so arbitrary age limits don't really mean anything.

View Quoted Comment Yes I think we’ll invite kids if it’s a matter of them not coming or not. For out of state family, to come to a wedding on Fourth of July weekend, is hard to ask them to leave their kids for 2-3 days in another state and I don’t know if they even have someone who can watch them. My 1 bridesmaid is out of state with 3 boys, and I am just thinking now that I am playing it out in my head that it would be way too hard for her to travel without her little ones.

You could ask family not to bring children but give them a few options for childcare during the event.

We are saying no kids at our wedding. This is the explanation we used “ In order to allow all guests, including parents, an evening of relaxation we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adult-only occasion, with the exception of very immediate family [first cousins 16 and over]. We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our special day with us and will enjoy having the evening off! ” We haven’t heard any fuss from guests about it.

If you can you can have ceremony with children and then make your reception adults only. That’s what I am doing. My reception is open bar and I have two young children who are leaving with their sitter. I know it’s rough to decide on but ultimately it’s you and your husbands choice. People will have to understand.