No kids reception

UO: I don't get why people are so adamant about no kids at weddings/receptions. 1/3 of our guest list is kids. I would hate for someone not to come because they can't find care for their child. That said, we have guests who have told us they are leaving their kids with G&G for the night, as well as guests that have said they are SO GLAD kids are invited cause it gives a chance for little cousins to hang out.

I went to a wedding last year and was seated with a couple that had left their 6 month old at home (with grandma) for the night. Woman was on her phone texting the WHOLE TIME because she was worried. She had to step out halfway though dinner to pump in their car, and they ended up leaving early because she was worried about her child. How is that any fun?

We are only inviting kids from the families (strictly first cousins, no cousin's kids). You can invite children in circles, just like adults.

Ashley N, you do not NEED to make an exception for a breastfeeding infant. And even if she is, she doesn't have to. You don't need to make an exception. Your day, your choice.

@kimbo, I went to a wedding where FH was a groomsmen when our daughter was 5 months old. We had to spend two nights away. I missed her obviously but we survived.

If a parent doesn't feel comfortable leaving their child, then they shouldn't come.

Also, in the same wedding the Best Man and a grooms woman (married couple) had a two month old. They had a babysitter and she stepped out once to breastfeed. They made it work because they wanted to be there.

No Elizabeth I don't think I'm being unreasonable at all. If she didn't want to come, she could choose to stay home and we would've understood. But they're excited for our wedding and she's making arrangements to be there. One of our groomsman has a 2 month old that they're leaving at home 7 hours away and even when she was still pregnant, his wife was saying how excited they were for an adults only weekend.

My no kids decision has been confirmed to be a good one time and time again. Just this week my coworker told me they had ONE child at her wedding in December and he screamed her husbands name the whole time during the ceremony, then talked through the toasts until she glared at the Mom and she removed him. That behavior isn't cute or adorable, it's obnoxious.

I personally feel that a no kids event is awesome, however none of my guests are out of towers. The only issue I have in this whole situation is that it is not true,y an adults only event because you are inviting immediate family kids. I feel that because she called to ask it is a hard decision for her as she wants to be their and either doesn't feel comfortable going out of town leaving her child or may not have an option for a sitter. I personally would allow this but express that if the child becomes a problem she will have to leave and you don't owe anyone and explanation as to why you allowed it.

Because I haven't decided on my venue, there is an option to use my community golf club as the venue and pay for a sitter during the happy hour and reception at my home for the parents I know have a hard time with a sitter. Especially because most of their option will be attending as well.

If people don't want kids at their wedding then the parents can either make arrangements or not go, it's that simple really.

I wouldn't attend a wedding if someone told me I couldn't bring my baby

He's 18 months right now

Especially if you are having some kids

I just dont understand how there's a difference between inviting someone's significant other or including their kids. Is a family not considered a social unit? Honestly perplexed.

But really, I do think people should invite who they want. I just also think it wouldn't (shouldn't) be a surprise when people decline.

@Kimbo bc significant others don't scream/wail during ceremonies, tear up the dance floor during a couple's first dance, or run around like maniacs in churches or reception venues. All behavior I've seen from children at weddings.

OP you are not being ridiculous. You do not have to make accommodations for people's children. No kids means no kids. We are doing the same thing.

On the other hand, be prepared to accept that some of your guests may not come for this reason.

That's great Tabatha, then just stay home. The bride and groom are not required to invite your 18 month old. Even if they are inviting their own kids or their nieces / nephews, or other family children that they may want there. It still doesn't mean that your kid has to be invited. Apparently parental entitlement is a real issue!

Thank you catlady5x for how to word it on the RSVP card

I don't consider my children to be part of a social unit with me and my husband. There are events that I do not think are appropriate for my children to attend, and a "traditional" wedding reception is one of them. It is not an event geared towards my 15 month olds and isn't really a situation where they are able to act like children. Right now all they want to do is walk around, touch everything, open anything they can find that has a hinge, and explore all day long because that's what toddlers do. They cannot do that in a reception space full of tables, waiters walking around with trays of food, people dancing, etc. And quite frankly, bringing them to something like that isn't fun for me and my husband so I'm not going to bring them even if they were invited. I love my children dearly but I do not believe that their existence entitles them to invitations to everything my husband and I are invited to.

Since it is a DW I'm ok with people bringing their kids (so far I have around 8 kids on the list). I figured it will def be too much for people to spend money on travel, etc. and also on childcare. But if the wedding was local I would have maybe gone the no kids route...

At my sister's wedding, it was adults only and they stated it on everything. The only exception was my cousin who had a (practically) newborn baby, which is perfectly understandable. All if the other kids that came (we had our family reunion the same weekend) were babysat by my best friend who had years of experience right at my parent's house in town where the wedding was. My parents happily paid her for sitting.

My FH and I are leaning towards adults-only wedding, even though I'm having his (adopted) sister who's 5 is going to be my flower girl in the ceremony.

We had friends who put on their invitations that their wedding wouldn't be appropriate for persons under 17. The only child there was the 5 year old flower girl who passed with us until the end and a toddler who attended the ceremony but was then left at a relatives house following that. The right wording goes a long way.

^^ you really shouldn't put anything about no kids invited on the invitations. That is not appropriate. You simply address the envelopes to the adults without stating "and family" or the kids' names.

We ONLY invited our nearest and dearest friends and family. So in my case, I would have made all kinds of exceptions if it meant that they could attend the wedding. If you are fine with people declining because they can't / don't want to leave their child home then that is up to you.

I have read some comments here about children behaving badly at wedding, and I do think it is shocking that those parents would allow that. I can definitely agree that I would have been upset if someones child had shouted during my ceremony and the parents did nothing. Again though, we only invited our closest friends, and although I had an adult-only wedding (with 2 exceptions), if any of the guests had asked to bring their children, I would have been fine with it because I know how they behave in public.

I don't think it is unreasonable to allow your OOS friend to bring along her child - 15 months sounds too young to leave alone overnight / weekend, and because she is OOS she might be uncomfortable leaving her child with a sitter that she doesn't know (since she wouldn't be able to leave him/her with their regular sitter). Again though, if you are fine with declines because of this, it is totally up to you.

I'm only allowing my niece and nephew and my FHs nieces and nephews. No other kids. If I let every person invited bring their kid we would have 54 kids. That's more than half of my guests. But it is important to us to have our immediate family's kids.