No Kids Invited.....are infants OK?

Other hand how is it my problem that they refuse to let anyone other than immediate family watch their son? I dont know what to do!

I think infants count as kids and you said no kids so I guess your friend won't be coming to the wedding. It isn't fair of you to let one person bring their kid because they won't let anyone babysit. That isn't your fault nor your problem. And I think it is very rude of your friend to expect you to bend the rules just for her. Sounds very selfish to me.

Well (1) every person's situation is not the same so sometimes you have to make exceptions for people. (2) if the main reason you don't want kids is because of budget then a lapbaby won't matter. (3) decide how much you want your friend to be there. "my wedding my way" is a sure fire way to destroy friendships. I've seen it happen so many times. people have every right to choose who they want to babysit their kids. if you are concerned about noise/crying, just have your ushers reserve a seat for her on the end of a pew so that she can easily excuse herself if her baby becomes uncomfortable. we're having an adult reception but if anyone brings small children I will be instructing my hostesses to seat them on the end of a pew so they can take their kids out without crossing all over people if they get noisy.

Long ago as parents of (nursing) infants we too didn't leave them with anyone. It was our parenting choice that limited some activities.

We have infants at our venue most weekends, some parents are more considerate than others. If she comes I'd suggest that you reserve a wedding seat for her at the back, w/ signage AND let her know where she can comfortably go w/ the baby should he/she crying occur. Find out where she can change a diaper and let her know. Find out if there's a rocker, and/or quiet place to sit w/ a sleeping or nursing infant & let her know - your conversations can all be before the event & are an opportunity for her to think thru the responsibility she has to keep the baby comfortable while also being considerate to you and your guests. Fussy babies w/ a parent who feels bound to be present for a ceremony can disrupt; parents may tolerate more fussing because they're used to it than you or other guests would prefer.

I hate to sound negitive, but you did say no choldren allowed. And an infant is a kid. You will have a lot of hurt feelings when guests who left their kids at home and then see your friend and her child there.

I would be a little miffed if I made arrangements to leave my daughter with someone (I only leave her with my parents or my aunt) and then found out that another guest brought their child because they didn't want to leave them with someone.

My daughter was just a few months old when my good friend got married about 3 hours away. We actually brought my mom & dad with us to the town and got them a hotel room so they could watch the baby, but I could stop by between the wedding & the reception. It was a little extra expense, but the bride wanted it to be adults only, and I wasn't about to ask her to make an exception for my kid.

I agree with most people, you has requested an Adults only wedding, and I'm sure there are many other people that are going that have made arangements to have their kids watched. I'm sure even out of those people some of them really had to work around obsticals to get this done to be at your wedding and to see someone else there with a child might made those people a little upset or hurt that you would make an exception for your friend but not them. I understand you want your friend there and you don't want to be all bridezilla crazy but when it comes to something like this I think you kinda have to do the same rule for everyone.

Honestly if you allow for one you should allow it to others. I realize the predictament you are in but it is fair that way. You said you want no kids and others will be making arrangements.

This is a toughy. On one hand you want your friend there, but on the other hand you don't want to be unfair to the other guests. Trouble is if you allow this exception then you're going to have to allow for other exceptions as well. As long as your open to allowing other people the same courtesy then invite her. If you don't want to make the same exception for other people then you can't make the exception for her without becoming the bad guy and hurting other people. Some people are very picky about who they will let watch their children these days, and with good reason I might add, so you can't really tell her that if she wants to come then she HAS to hire a different person. But with your event less than a month away you may be able to invite her without there being a problem. Though I am curious..Did any other people have this same problem and you turned them away?

I also agree with pp, if you are going to make an effort to reconnect with your old friend then that is fine but it may just have to be done after the wedding. I don't think that it would be fair to allow here to bring her baby especially if you made an effort to notify all your guests in advance that there will be no children. And then think about all the other people who just may not come because they can't bring theirs and then they find out your one friend brought hers and they missed out just for respecting your wishes. I certainly wouldn't want to be on the other end of that one. but that's JMO.

I agree with PP. I dealt with this with my own SIL. It is difficult but stick to your guns. My SIL told us that she and her husband could not come if they could not bring their 3 mo. old (our nephew). We said we were sorry but that if he came we had fifteen other children that would need to be invited.

Needless to say...she found child care & they both came! We had to listen to a lot of complaints but just stick to your decision. Good luck!

Babies are different from running toddlers and mischievous kids. I totally agree with that.

..but yeah a lot of feelings will definitely be hurt......