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Beginner July 2018

No-host rehearsal brunch

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Kristiana, on April 30, 2018 at 5:36 PM

Hi all,
Long story short we can't afford a full-on rehearsal dinner. We want to keep the concept of a rehearsal dinner/welcome celebration open to the many folks coming from across the country and across the world but many are also on a limited number of travel days. Our rehearsal is two days before and will include very few people.

As a result we decided on a no-host inexpensive ish option, as we wanted a casual and open-ended gathering and thought of reserving a room in a quaint local restaurant and doing a brunch buffet. This small establishment can't do separate checks. The bill per person comes to 20 per person with tip and because of no separate checks I think people are safest bringing cash. How can we word this on our wedding website? We're hosting everything full fledged for the actual wedding.

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29 Comments

VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on April 30, 2018 at 7:14 PM
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I don't think this is appropriate. If you are throwing an event, you need to host it.
We aren't budgeted for a rehearsal dinner so we're just having a BBQ on the lawn of our venue after we do setup and the rehearsal. There will be maybe 15 people so my fiance will cook chicken and burgers and I will make salads. It won't cost much at all.
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Devoted April 2018
Karma · on April 30, 2018 at 7:29 PM
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And how does that solve the problem as they would have to pay for the room and food?
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VIP July 2018
The Nuptials · on April 30, 2018 at 7:37 PM
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We are doing a champagne and dessert party from 8-10pm. Formal invitations to be sent to VIPs and out of town guests, it's on the website for others. It's still adding up but cheaper than a meal. It's on our buildings roof top so we had to pay a small rental for that, I have a harpist coming for $150 which is a steal, treats from the lady doing our cake, and plenty of booze. Will also do some meats and cheeses for people who want savory options.

I have seen people put on their website 'Meet Jenny and Tom at XYZ bar at 9pm if you want to grab a drink with the almost Mr. and Mrs.' To me that implies you are not hosting, or at least I would plan to buy my own!
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on April 30, 2018 at 8:18 PM
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Coffee and dessert is much less costly than brunch. There are restaurants that don't charge extra for the room, just the food.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on April 30, 2018 at 9:08 PM
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Please don't do this. That would be very rude to those who you deemed not important enough to pay for. If anything, just let your friends and family know that you and FS will be having brunch at XYZ place at XYZ time and you'd love it if they could join you. Some people will probably disagree with this but since this isn't a formal hosted event, a group text or facebook message would do just fine I'd say.
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VIP December 2018
Xandria · on April 30, 2018 at 9:34 PM
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It sounds like your rehearsal dinner is the pizza & beer with the people involved in your wedding right after the rehearsal.
So if you have a brunch, which I personally think is just fine, don't call it a rehearsal brunch. Just be honest. "To those who have expressed the desire to see us as many times as possible while they're in town, we're reserving a room for brunch! Join us at xyz location at xyz time for a lovely time. As this was not in originally wedding extravaganza plan we can not host everyone costs at this time, please be prepared to buy your own brunch. We would love to see you! And if you can't make it we look forward to seeing you at the wedding!"
I know many people won't agree with me on this, but I can totally understand wanting to see someone as many times as possible if they're traveling to see you.
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VIP September 2018
Rachel · on April 30, 2018 at 10:18 PM
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I agree with pp's that some won't understand what a "no-host" brunch means. I honestly wouldn't know. If you do still want to do brunch, I like Xandria's proposed wording much more. It's more direct. It may raise some eyebrows but at least everyone will know what they're in for. I do really love the idea of coffee and pastries! I still let's you see your guests but it's more affordable. Good luck op. I know it's hard not to break the bank on your wedding!
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Dedicated July 2018
KB · on May 1, 2018 at 8:34 AM
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This sounds like a great compromise. I would be happy with coffee and pastries if I was invited to an event. Then I could have a little something and spend time with you and if I saw the menu and just had to have something, I would understand I was on my own for that.
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Just Said Yes November 2022
Laura · on July 27, 2021 at 1:03 PM
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How about this... (these is ALWAYS a way )
"RISE & SHINE!
For those who would like to join us for a non-hosted brunch at x location, we would love a few more laughs & a lot more hugs from our favorites before saying goodbye!"
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