No family acknowledgement i got married

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Ok, well, if you do feel that there are deeper issues here, then I suggest seeking the help of a licensed mental health professional who can help you navigate through some of them. There's absolutely no shame in doing so, and if you haven't already, you might find it to be extremely beneficial.

Just try not to be so hurt by it though, because I really don't think there was anything malicious happening here, and don't think it's a reflection of how your extended family members feel about you.

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I think part of what makes it really confusing, and I really should've mentioned this earlier- is 2 people from my husband's family DID send cards, each with $100 cash on top of it. They weren't invited either, and his family is supposedly not very close and much smaller than mine- but maybe that means weddings are more rare so you acknowledge them... though also on the other hand only a few of my generation in my family have done it yet. The conclusion I am coming to based on this thread is my family is normal and his is exceptional. Like I did not EXPECT anyone to send a card or call, but I thought surely out of 20+ people, someone would've had the same thoughts his family did about it.

I understand you feel you "saved them" from having to fly across the country but more than likely, they would have wanted to be given the option. You admitted early on that you kept your guest list very small because you didn't want to be the center of attention. While that's your choice, I don't think it's fair to have expectations of your non-guests. You don't get to choose what kind of attention you want and don't want.

Family were excited about the other two weddings because they were invited - to the party and people love to party. They weren't invited to your wedding, so, for them, there wasn't a party to look forward to, seeing family to look forward to, etc. I'm sure you matter to your family, but when you don't include them in a major life event, you can hardly blame them for not acknowledging that event. As a PP said, the date of your wedding wasn't on their radars. I have a huge family and don't get invited to all the cousins' weddings. I might, and I stress might, think, "oh yeah, so and so is getting married today." That's if I ever heard what the date was. I might send a card, I might not. It really depends on how much time I have and if I remember. If I don't, it doesn't mean I don't care. And while it's nice that people in your husband's family send money, there's no way I'm sending $100 to every family member that doesn't invite me to their weddings. No invite, no need for a gift from me.

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I just want to be clear, though I think I was before, I never had any expectations of money or gifts, just maybe a phone call, *maybe* a card. Maybe a message on Facebook. It's very nice that his family went above and beyond, but also makes it clear some people's idea of etiquette in this situation is more in line with my own- but not my family, and not this thread.

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Listen, it's not going to help you to pick apart literally every little thing surrounding this. Different people do things differently. That's all it is. Again, I'm really sorry you're hurt by this, but I'm sure no one made a conscious, malicious decision to specifically NOT congratulate you, and it's not really about poor etiquette. There is no etiquette rule that states you have to send your congratulations, whether it be in verbal or written form, for an event to which you're not invited.

Sorry to hear you are so hurt. But it wouldn't be on my radar either as a non guest.My only piece of advice is to not harbor any resentment and to still make an effort with these folks at family events etc.