No enthusiasm out of Bridal Party

I have little to no advice, but I can TOTALLY understand. I get no feedback from my girls. I emailed them a bunch of times just to survey their likes/dislikes about dresses - colors, necklines, length, cut, style, etc. Basically what kind of dress wouldn't they be caught dead in - think they would respond? nope! nothin. So i picked one and I guess they don't hate it cause I haven't gotten any feedback!! Hopefully things work out with you!

That's probably what I'm going to have to do, just pick a dress that I like and that'll be it. I hate to do that because I'd love for their input but it's not like I can make them respond.

My friend went through this with her bridesmaids a couple years ago. She felt that they weren't being enthusiastic and supportive enough. It consumed her. She even sent a scathing e-mail to everyone (even the "good" bridesmaids), telling them just how unhappy with them she was.

My point? It wasn't worth the stress. It made her whole wedding planning process miserable for her. She never enjoyed it.

This is a special time for you and your fiance - don't let a few unsupportive individuals ruin it for you. It sounds like you are doing all the right things (keeping them informed, asking for their feedback, etc.), so if they don't want to reciprocate, let that be their problem.

I know it is frustrating and sad for you - you selected these ladies because you consider them good friends and friends should be supportive. BUT the way I see it, if you asked for their input and they didn't provide it (or only provided minimal input), then they'll just have to wear what you pick out.

My advice would be, Let them pick out there own dresses. I would arrange a time for you all to get together, And for you to give them a specific color(s) and to let them pick there own style. This may not add the support you need but it may help them to keep drama out of picking a dress; so you can focus more on YOUR wedding. My girls all have different: opionions, body types, and personalities! For me i think there enjoying the idea.This may make it a little more fun and Interesting for the whole party. And if your worried about keeping the looks together have them wear the same jewelry!! Hope my advice helps!!!

Brittany

I've posted here before about my issues and I'm in the same boat as you. I LIVE with one of my BM and I only talk about wedding things mebbe...once a week? And I get NO response, just a glare. But he talks for about an hour a day about his job. Literally just his job every single night. Its very hurtful and difficult to live with.

That aside though, I've found that LOTS of other people have really helped! Two of my father's co-workers are coming the day of to be our coordinators, a neighbor down the street has been lending us stuff left and right, and a good friend of my parent's are giving us tons of stuff to borrow.

Look for the people that do want to help and use them. I agree with Lauren--don't let yourself be miserable about it just cause they aren't playing.

And don't say anything mean, but a pointed "I will be choosing the dress by X date, if you want to chime in about which of these you like, please say something within two days." And if they don't just pick 'em!

On the one hand, everyone says don't expect people to care about the wedding as much as the bride.

But on the other hand, I know that plenty of people can be wedding haters. It's true and it's sad..

Please don't get down though and try to stay as positive as possible. You are marrying the love of your life and this is the beginning of possibilities.

Many ppl don't have that.

Oh I'm most def in the same boat as you are. I understand the feelings!! I have a bridesmaid who has basically been MIA. I had to give all my bms a deadline as to when to have the dress ordered. At first I had given them the choice between 5 dresses and then 3 out of the 6 wanted a different dress entirely so I said screw it..it's my day you're all going to wear the dress that I think fits the theme perfectly. Everyone has been helpful except for one. She only emails me in response when a bach. party is mentioned..I had to force her into DB today by calling/texting/emailing her about 15 to 20 times today and then when I did she emailed me a concern I explained in about 4 emails. Which she apparently didn't read. Then to follow it up she proceeded to tell me what gifts I should give the wedding party (personalized flasks and flipflops..seriously wtf). Then yesterday she called me to TELL me to remind her to order her dress today since I am making her wear the same dress (cont)

I know it's hard, I have the same types of problems with my BM's. hopefully once the wedding is closer they will get a little excited. I think it's hard to expect a person to be excited for so long before a wedding--- at the same time, they should be supporting you and helping you out. My advice is to directly ask them the type of dress they are comfortable wearing. Asking more direct questions and guiding them might ellicit a different type of response. (instead of showing them what you want them to wear) Good luck!! And if they fall short in the support department, you always have WW to vent

As everyone else. All of her picks were short..tight and kinda skanky. She has big boobs and a big ole booty (haha) and she likes to flaunt them which is tacky for a wedding. As of yesterday she had until 530 pm today (friday) to shape up..order the dress and shut up or get the hell out of my wedding. Her only problem now? The fact that I haven't given her a plus one. She just met a guy on tuesday and feels her might be date appropriate. After a big budget discussion and a request for her to pay for his meal and tell the person that wouldn't be getting a spot why she decided to back off the topic. Pick your battles with your bms but if you have an overly hard to work with bm maybe just decide whether or not the choice for the wedding party is right. I've seriously contemplated mine but for now she is still in it. Good luck!

I'm sorry your having some trouble with your BM's...unfortuantely I think this happens a lot and quite honestly now that I'm a bride I realize that I was a terrible bridesmaid before! One of my bridesmaids who is married (I was a bridesmaid for her) has been outstanding!!! Your bridesmaid's are supposed to take care of YOU! They are supposed to help with all the small things so you don't stress abou them. If your not getting what you need from them, look to other friends or family in your life....and ignore them! Its your day and every momment of the planning should be special

I went through the same thing in the beginning with my matron of honor but i finally figured out that its my day and if she doesn't want to on the band wagon then she will be left behind because you only have one special wedding day and remember it's all about you and your FH so pick out some dresses tell them to pick between them and leave it at that.

I just want to say from MY experiances... that NO ONE is as excited as you are.. and now that my wedding is less then 4 months away I am finally getting excitment out of my MOH.. we have had her dress sense Jan and just got her shoes... 80% of all the things are done for the wedding and I got no help from her but now she is backing me up and asking what she can do... So IMO it might be that it is because you wedding seems so far away to your bridal party they feel they have time to jump on the party wagon even though WE know it takes more time to plan a wedding then a few short months... Good luck and hang in there..

I'm sorry that this is happening to you...has to be extremely annoying! I don't know how you feel about everyone wearing a different style dress, but this is what I am doing.

My ladies are all different shapes and sizes, and I not only wanted them to look good, but feel good in what they were wearing. All I told them was the designer and the type of fabric, and they took it from there.

This eliminated a lot of hassle off myself to look for something that would work for everyone, and it also seemed to make my girls rather happy.

The bride should not be stressed out, so whatever you can do to eliminate stress....by all means do it!!!

@: Yahshanah I never thought of that !!!!!Because of my very particular vision it may be hard for me to just give a designer and fabric selection and say go for it...lol