No Dance with Father, as he is dying with cancer

I will hold you in my prayers

Hoping you read this comment OP!

First, I want to say how sorry I am that you and your family are going through this. It's absolutely horrible to see someone you love suffer from cancer, and my heart truly goes out to you. Hoping that he is getting good care in hospice and is very comfortable and surrounded by loved ones.

I have been in your shoes but not with a wedding right around the corner. If it were me, and if the stars aligned letting me do this, I would have a priest/rabbi/officiant (whatever you are choosing), to marry you and your FH in your fathers room with just immediate family present. As important as it would be to have him at your wedding, it's probably equally, if not more, important for him to see his little girl get married. With both your parents not able to attend in a few weeks, I think you should consider it. That was it's special, and intimate, and you will have that memory and might not be the happiest of memories now because grief is intense, but hopefully one day you will be able to look back at that time your dad got to see you get married, and you will smile, holding that forever close to your heart.

This may not be feasible, BUT... I know your parents would love to see you all dressed up on the actual day. Is there any way for you and your groom to visit your Dad prior to the ceremony? You could take pictures or maybe even a video, then play it at the reception during the time you would have done your dance together (and maybe have the song played in the background?) This may be entirely too complicated and would require the help of someone somewhat tech savvy, but I think having those pictures or a video would be an amazing keepsake whether you share it with your guests or not. Sending virtual hugs your way, I'm so sorry.

I second Elizabeth. I have been in your shoes, only it was colon cancer with my dad. I planned an emergency wedding in about 2 weeks that was executed in his hospital room. I had my dress altered, along with 3/4 of my BM's and our FG was there with her parents, and my brothers. Total of 14 people including us and dad. I got a cake from Sam's and brought my dad the cold beer he had been craving. I would do it again in a minute. My minister was childhood friends' aunt, who I have known for 35 years, she was more than happy to help out in a pinch, and on the planned day. He got to see the legal one, and passed just 4 1/2 days later. I put his invitation in the casket with him, along with pictures from that day to share with my mother who passed when I was a kid. I would do it all over again. When the big day rolled around,2.5 months later, everyone knew and nobody cared. I skipped the parent dances at the big day. I went to a wedding 9 months after Dad passed and had to get up and walk out of the reception when she was dancing with her dad to keep from bawling. Hugs and prayers coming your way.

I'm so so sorry OP! I can't imagine! I would agree with PP to try and see them on the day. If you want to do something for him at the wedding (kudos to you because I could never keep it together) maybe a slideshow of pics with you two and his favorite song playing?

Hugs for sure. Maybe dance with someone who is close to you/him to a song that epitomizes your relationship with him (my father passed away 5 1/2 years ago, and I will dance with my brother to "Sunshine on My Shoulders" because my dad always called me sunshine, for example)

I'm so, so sorry OP. My heart breaks for your family. I lost my grandmother to pancreatic cancer several years ago and I'm struggling with the thought that she won't be there on our wedding day.

I think if everyone comes on the floor to a father-daughter dance in honor of your father, it could be so beautiful. Maybe ask him if there's anything he'd want to have you say or a special song he would want you to play. Again, I'm very sorry for you family. You guys are in my thoughts.

My mom had colon cancer and passed away a month ago. We planned our wedding in six months so she could be there.

We had our pastor come to our home, and perform the ceremony at my moms beside so she could be there. My husbands family was there, as well as some of mine. It was videotaped, so we will have those memories forever.

It was such an emotional night, but honestly the best thing we could have ever done.

Nothing about losing a parent is easy, but when it is so close to a wedding, it is hard.

My prayers are with you and your family. I wish you well. And if you need someone to talk to, I am here.

God bless.

Mindy

I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I wish I had some ideas for you but I just want to reach out and just hug you. I'm hopeful you will get a really good idea from here. Good luck. Sending hugs and more hugs your way

Maybe a nice slideshow of pictures of you and him. Also, maybe someone could broadcast the ceremony and reception through Skype or something so he can be a part of it? I hope his health improves

@SusanM ...sobbing. That's so beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Im deeply sorry for you and your family. Maybe you can do a video of photos of you and your Dad.

Can you set up a live stream of the event for your dad? I've seen this done when family couldn't attend due to distance

I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this I agree with crazpaperdaisy, could you do a live stream?

Could you video something with your dad before the ceremony?

A dance, a song, a conversation?

Then you could play it in place of.

Do you have old photos and videos? Could make a cideo collage with your song choice to play in lieu of a dance with him?

Personally, I don't know if I could handle the emotion. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I am team visit them that day.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Anyway you can maybe skype or FaceTime with your parents during the reception? That's if you are all comfortable with that. Sending positive vibes to you and your family!

I'm so sorry, Christy :'( Cancer is the worst.

Aww Susan, that made me tear up. <3

Glory to God, because I know that feeling. I lost my father 3 years ago to colon cancer. I'm so sorry. I have no solution for the wedding, as you should do what is best for yourself and your well being. I do not have any ideas because I am struggling with the idea of not having someone to walk me down the aisle or to be there to dance with me. So, trust me, I get it and again, I'm so sorry.

Ladies, I have no regrets. I would have regretted not doing it for him.