No bridal shower or bachelorette party in sight?

Yeah she gets overwhelmed super easily so the thought of planning it out of town just was out of the question for her I guess haha. I have mentioned to my mother that I'm a little bummed she won't be able to host it but it kind of just ended at that.

It's not a big deal though! I'll be fine with or without I'm sure.

People may disagree with me.. BUT... I believe you can get with your BM or close girlfriends and plan your own bachelorette party. All it is is getting girlfriends together and going out and doing something fun. Just don't expect people to pay for you. My MOH was planning my bachelorette party but she came to me for a lot of help. We changed our plans like 5 times and just finally made a concrete plan for next month. I wasn't expecting anyone to pay for me for this and my sister and mother ended up covering me anyways.

As for bridal shower this is typically something you do ONLY if someone offers to host it for you. I wouldn't ask anyone to host it for you. But absolutely take charge of the bachelorette weekend!

You could always send a message to your bridesmaids and just see if anyone had any thoughts about the bridal shower or Bach party. Nothing that puts anything on them, but enough to maybe start something?

I totally get it. My friends had a big engagement party a few months ago and a lot of mutual friends kept asking me when we would have one, but noone offered to throw us one. I think for your bachelorette, you can definitely take charge a little. Text your bridesmaids, and ask if you can all plan a night out together before your wedding. I would guess one or more of them will step up to help plan.

Shower is a little harder, because its not proper etiquette to host your own or ask someone to throw it. I'll be honest, I think that's a little silly, because I see it as asking people to celebrate WITH you, not to come give you a bunch of gifts, but I also see how it can come off as rude. Could your mom help you plan long distance? She could technically "throw" the party for you, but you could pick out some of the details. Alternatively, you and your FH could host an engagement celebration and just invite friends and family to come celebrate with you in place of a formal shower.

Either way, I agree with Michelle above that you should talk to FH about it. Maybe if he knows, he can nudge your bridesmaids, or your mom, to help out.

I am not having either of them and instead I am just doing a day this Saturday for us to get fitted for our dresses and do make up trials. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking someone to host your parties for you if you really want one. I guess I don't follow etiquette too closely though. It can't hurt to through it out there and see what happens. If not, maybe a girls day that does not require a lot of planning?

Unfortunately not everyone is willing to pay for host and plan this. If you really want one maybe you can pay and plan it and ask bridesmaids if they want to help with games and what not? I know your feeling but unfortunately there is no golden rule of MOH or BMs have to plan or host it for you. It is usually a courtesy thing.

You bring up some good points! I'm definitely more bummed about the bachelorette party vs. the bridal shower. I don't really need any gifts since my fiance and I have been living together for 3 years now haha... so I will be totally fine if the bridal shower doesn't end up happening. I will probably reach out to all my bridesmaids/close friends to see if anyone has suggestions of what would be fun to do! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me

That's a great idea! I actually just chatted with my fiance about the possibility of combining our bachelor/bachelorette parties into one big party and kind of treating it more like a late engagement party and it made me feel much better. Thanks for the suggestion!

You're definitely right - I don't think I would feel comfortable asking someone to throw a bridal shower for me, especially because I am a self-supporting adult as well and don't really need anything for my home! And I didn't even think about how asking someone to host would imply them having to cover the costs of the party... that would be so embarrassing and tacky haha Thanks for your insights!!

I do have bridesmaids, but a lot of them have kids/careers, so I feel like they have all been preoccupied with life stuff, which is completely understandable, especially since the wedding is still 2 months away. I'm planning on hosting some sort of wedding prep party at my house soon to work on some decorations and serving some yummy food, so I'm sure it will come up organically in conversation there!

Yeah, I'm thinking it will probably end up being more of a girl's day anyways since I'm not much of a bar/drinking person. I'm going to try just asking for suggestions for what everyone would like to do and just plan my own "girl's day" to take place of the bach party!