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steebsthegreat
Dedicated July 2017

No bridal party at the altar?

steebsthegreat, on January 6, 2016 at 9:45 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 24

Is it strange to have bridesmaids and groomsmen but not have them stand at the altar or wear matching attire?

My fiancé and I are torn about having a bridal party in the first place but our family members (mostly our siblings) are really pushing up to have them in the wedding. I'm thinking about asking my sisters to be bridesmaids (they're already going dress shopping with me, they'll get ready with me, do photos with us, etc.), they just won't stand next to me or wear matching dresses. The same goes for my FH and his brother (minus the dress of course Smiley xd).

Thoughts?

24 Comments

Latest activity by Gonefishes, on January 11, 2016 at 11:45 PM
  • D
    Expert November 2015
    DRGCAS ·
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    Don't see nothing wrong. I would have preferred to have only bride and groom at the altar. I'm sure they would also appreciate sitting rather than standing for 30+minutes.

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  • Jessi
    VIP October 2015
    Jessi ·
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    They don't have to be bridesmaids to shop with you or take pictures with you. And if they aren't wearing anything specific or standing up with you, I'm not sure that I would consider them bridesmaids.

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  • Lauren
    Devoted May 2017
    Lauren ·
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    I'm not having a formal bridal party. I have already asked my two sister in laws to be my supporters, get ready with me, take photos and all that. We are just having our 3 sons (ages 12, 9 and 8 right now) walk down the aisle then I will walk with my dad. I have been in so many weddings and it's a lot to ask of someone then you have other friends with hurt feelings. Or drama starts. I just want to keep this as stress free as possible! Lol. I think it's all up to you and FH though.

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  • Reggie
    Master September 2015
    Reggie ·
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    You could always have them stand with you but not have them in matching dresses. Or have them walk but then sit in the front row rather than stand up with you. There are countless options and it's really whatever you feel is best. Personally, I wouldn't want to skip it altogether if it's important to my close friends/family.

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  • Reggie
    Master September 2015
    Reggie ·
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    You could always have them stand with you but not have them in matching dresses. Or have them walk but then sit in the front row rather than stand up with you. There are countless options and it's really whatever you feel is best. Personally, I wouldn't want to skip it altogether if it's important to my close friends/family.

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  • Reggie
    Master September 2015
    Reggie ·
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    You could always have them stand with you but not have them in matching dresses. Or have them walk but then sit in the front row rather than stand up with you. There are countless options and it's really whatever you feel is best. Personally, I wouldn't want to skip it altogether if it's important to my close friends/family.

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  • Shan
    Devoted June 2016
    Shan ·
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    I won't be having a bridal party, just groom and myself at the altar. We are having a small wedding of about 40 give or take, each only inviting a handful of friends. The five girls I've invited are each excited for the wedding and planning process in their own way and helping where they see fit. (One is super creative, helping with calligraphy etc., another offering to help with dress shopping) I'm sure a few will be there getting ready with me and helping the day of. I didn't see the need to make anyone an official bridesmaid. But you know your family and friends best!

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  • FutureMrs.Davis
    Expert March 2016
    FutureMrs.Davis ·
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    Honestly, I think not having a bridal party would be less stressful.

    And definitely not weird at all! I've been to a few wedding in the last year or two with no bridal party.

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  • Monique  Wilber
    Monique Wilber ·
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    I've done weddings like that. Nothing at all "strange." Actually, I find it to be very authentic and non-wedding industry. I love it.

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    We had a MOH and Best Man.

    I've officiated weddings with no wedding party or wedding party sat in the second row (behind parents).

    Whatever works for you!

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  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
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    I wouldn't call that a bridal party, I would just call that family being treated as family? I think it's totally fine but I wouldn't bother with the labels.

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  • Jessica Rajs
    Jessica Rajs ·
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    I also wouldn't call it a bridal party. But you can still have them come early for some formal pictures. And if you want them to coordinate, but not match per se, maybe ask them to wear a dress that coordinates with your color scheme. For example, if your colors are navy and peach, you could ask the girls to buy navy dresses. They're not in matching dresses, but it still makes sense with your colors, yaknow?

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  • CareBear
    VIP March 2016
    CareBear ·
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    I was in my best friends wedding and it was in a Catholic Church where they wouldn't allow the bridal party even on the alter. We walked down the aisle straight onto the front row and that is where we stayed until we walked back down the aisle to leave. It was strange but common for that church I guess.

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  • Michele Spadaro
    Michele Spadaro ·
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    Fine Greetings,

    With over 200 Weddings to our Duo's credit, we have seen many different Ceremony formats. Truly do what will make you happy. The Bridal Party does not need to be on the altar area, at all. Also, choose the outfits that you like for your Bridal Party -- if you are having a Bridal Party.

    We have seen Bridal Parties on the altar with different dresses. There are no rules. It's all what will make you happy. Finally, we have seen Bridal Parties with just one Bridesmaid and one Groomsmen -- probably the two required witnesses who will sign the Marriage Certificate.

    All the best to everyone! Sincerely, Michele

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  • Susan
    VIP September 2016
    Susan ·
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    I love the idea of letting them walk in and then sit down. I've seen that done a lot. It is nice.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    You could have them sit, sure, but the crux of the issue is having a bridal party (and the accompanying stress) when you really don't want that.

    You have a year and a half. Keep pushing back if you don't want a BP.

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    They could wear non-matching dresses, carry matching bouquets as they walk up the aisle, and then take their seats.

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    They could wear non-matching dresses, carry matching bouquets as they walk up the aisle, and then take their seats.

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    They could wear non-matching dresses, carry matching bouquets as they walk up the aisle, and then take their seats.

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  • MrsMelissaP
    VIP January 2017
    MrsMelissaP ·
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    My fiance and I do not have a bridal party. We are saving a lot of money going that route and not dealing with the drama is always a plus. We are also have a cruise wedding so I'd rather have our friends spend the money on cruise that they would spend on a dress, shoes, hair and make up, and etc. I'll help with the planning for the bridal shower and bachelorette party,

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