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Jenna
Just Said Yes October 2022

No best man

Jenna, on September 23, 2021 at 12:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18
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My FH cannot decide on his best man because he says he loves his friends all the same and doesn't want to put pressure on one person for a bunch of responsibility. Has anyone done something like this, or do you think we should still pick one? It really doesn't matter to me if he doesn't have one. I just was wondering how someone went about it! I myself was between having two matrons of honor, so I was just looking for advice for planning purposes!

18 Comments

Latest activity by Susan, on September 27, 2021 at 2:11 PM
  • Cece
    Master November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    Definitely not a requirement to have a best man or man of honor! I’ve been to weddings that had neither, and I’ve been to weddings that have had multiple people hold the title. His reasonings for not wanting one are sound, and I would suggest he just not choose one- all of his friends can stand next to him equally Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Cece
    Master November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    *maid of honor
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag

    He can have all groomsmen, it's not a requirement to have a best man!

    • Reply
  • V
    Beginner September 2021
    Vanessa ·
    • Flag
    LOL we were in that situation too! I had a maid of honor and a matron of honor, but hubby didn’t want to choose a best man from his groomsmen. All of them were labeled groomsmen on our wedding website and I just paired them with my bridesmaids according to height to determine walking order for ceremony. I asked him to select a couple groomsmen that would be more comfortable with public speaking to give a short joint speech during the reception.
    • Reply
  • Allaura
    Dedicated November 2022
    Allaura ·
    • Flag
    Definitely cool not to have a best man but is someone going to have to sign the marriage license like as a witness? He might want to pick one person to do that.
    • Reply
  • Daniela
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Daniela ·
    • Flag
    All of them can be a best man!
    • Reply
  • JA
    Expert March 2022
    JA ·
    • Flag

    I have 8 bridesmaids and no MOH

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    I didn't pick a maid/matron of honor. I just had a bridal party.

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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    Having a Best Man is entirely optional. Heck, the entire wedding party is optional, Lol.

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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    I think it’s best not to have a best man for MOH. Those simple titles create an unnecessary ranking in a role that is not really necessary anyway. I think your FH is wise.
    • Reply
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    We don't have a best man or MOH either. We have each chosen a friend to give a speech but they don't have to stand during the ceremony or wear anything specific.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Expert October 2021
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I'm probably going to be in the minority, but I'd find it a bit bizarre that he had no best man, but you have not one but two matrons of honor. If he doesn't want to choose from his friends, does he have brothers or male cousins that he loves just as much, if not more so? My sister and BIL opted not to have a bridal party at all, as she also had a large number of close friends from whom she couldn't just pick out a few. (Sixteen years later, I might still be just a little miffed that she didn't at least ask our other sister and I.) I'm just trying to see things from your FH's point of view. I know mismatched bridal parties are kind of a thing, but I like the symmetry. If he can't possibly pick two from what he has, then maybe your better option might be no party at all. Just my opinion, and again, probably not a popular one, but that's my two cents.

    • Reply
  • Chaka
    Savvy October 2021
    Chaka ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Same here. FH couldn't pick just one as a best man and so I didn't pick a maid/matron of honor. We only have groomsmen and bridesmaids.
    • Reply
  • Mattie
    Devoted June 2021
    Mattie ·
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    That’s why my husband did — he had six best men!
    • Reply
  • Daniela
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Daniela ·
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    Awesome!!!
    • Reply
  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag
    He doesn’t need. To have a beat man.
    • Reply
  • A.B.
    Dedicated November 2021
    A.B. ·
    • Flag

    I don't have a maid of honor. I invited my four closest friends and my sister to be in the bridal party. I love my sister but for several reasons has opted out of any involvement beyond the ceremony. She will lead the processional. One of my friends is an event rockstar and offered to throw me a bridal shower with the help of my two other local friends. The fourth friend lives out of state. She was the only one of the group who wanted to give a toast. In my situation, it felt weird to give just one of them the title.

    I'm so incredibly grateful to have friends to share in my joy the morning of my wedding. Everything else has just been icing on top.

    • Reply
  • Susan
    Devoted October 2021
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    My FH is having a best man and best woman--he chose his childhood best friend and his sister. I have 3 matrons of honor and no bridesmaids. Couldn't choose. It's up to you guys what you do and how you make it work for yourselves Smiley smile Give out the titles you want and don't worry about 'tradition'.

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