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Beginner June 2018

No babies at wedding...

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purplejunebride, on February 12, 2018 at 2:33 AM

Posted in Planning 29

Let me start off by saying I absolutely love kids, and so does my fiancé. We hope to have many of our own. However, we do not want young children at our wedding. We’ve known that we have felt this way for 6 months now. I shared is not wanting kids at the wedding and my mother basically tore into me because that’s so atrocious to her. Two of my bridesmaids who I’m also related to have two young children each. Our ceremony location is outside in June. To get the location you have to walk down a large section of stairs outside and that’s the only way to access it. Therefor when a baby starts crying there is no where to go to calm them down without disrupting the wedding. We have paid a very hefty fee for a videographer and our vows are the most important part of our wedding day and I really don’t want a baby crying during them. Aside from that our one bridesmaid has discussed needed to have her two babies sit with her at the head table. She’s suppose to be next to me because she’s the maid of honor. Both of her children are still being breastfed but will take bottles and at the wedding the youngest will be over 6 months. She’s talking about chasing her kids around at the reception and wearing a dress that’s easy for her to breastfeed in. And I love her children dearly but I don’t want kids at our wedding, especially at the head table next to me. I finally got up the courage to share with her I don’t want them at the wedding and she took it really well but I could tell she was upset. However once my mother found out she flipped because she just can’t belive we don’t want kids there. Our wedding ceremony location is not equipped for young children, the reception is open bar, and it’s a very extravagant wedding so I don’t understand why she’s acting so crazy about it. I need some opinions as to if My fiancé and I are being dramatic or if this is totally okay for us to feel this way?

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29 Comments

VIP May 2018
Ashley · on February 12, 2018 at 1:58 PM
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You don’t have to invite kids. In my opinion a wedding isn’t meant for children anyways depending on the formality of the event. We are having a child free wedding, the youngest person will be 17 or 18.

It would have cost us 100 bucks PP per child. HECK no.
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Savvy June 2019
Taylor · on February 12, 2018 at 5:05 PM
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You and your fiance are NOT being dramatic at all - if you don't want kids at your wedding, that's fine! My FH and I also don't want kids at our wedding, and we're enforcing a strict "no-kids" rule. There's no need to give explanations, however if your MOH isn't comfortable with not having her kids, you also have to respect that she may decline the position or attending the wedding. I'm in a similar position, so it does suck, but both parties have to respect the others choices.
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on February 12, 2018 at 8:43 PM
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You need to accept that if you bar very young children like breastfed babies, that many people will choose not to come.
I don't care who you are, if I'm a nursing mom and you say I can't bring my child, I'm not coming.
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Devoted December 2018
FutureMrs.A · on February 12, 2018 at 9:18 PM
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Anymore, I haven’t been to a wedding that has allowed kids mostly due to cost. Most parents love an excuse to get a night off too. Went to one last week, and the flower girls were running full force into people during the cocktail hour and hitting people in very inappropriate places doing so. A lot of guests were really annoyed/uncomfortable, as the space was small and overheated. No one should be shaming you for wanting an adults-only wedding, especially if it’s very formal.

If people are really throwing a fit and stressing you out, try having a hired babysitter at the kids table. Local universities normally have elementary ed major students who may be interested in helping out! But, don’t feel like you’re asking something ridiculous by not having kids there.
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on February 13, 2018 at 5:48 PM
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If parents want a "night off", they are quite capable of arranging it for themselves whether you invite children or not.
The hubris sometimes amazes me. If you don't want children, that's your choice and that's fine, but don't tell people you're doing it for their benefit because you are not. Removing their choices is not a benefit.
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Just Said Yes October 2022
Lucy · on September 14, 2022 at 10:08 PM
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I’m experiencing the same situation. My parents just adore my cousin, their niece, who has a three-month old daughter and insist the baby come to the ceremony. I made it clear to them from the start that no babies were allowed to be at our ceremony. My cousin has always been narcissistic and full of herself, and has always loved to show off. This is just another time for her to feed her ego by everyone admiring her baby at the wedding. It’s a half hour ceremony. Come without the baby or don’t come. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean the rule doesn’t apply to them. I’m not even close to her and we have no relationship so I don’t see how that rule would even apply. She had a child-free wedding, she should understand and respect it! If someone really wants to be petty and resent you and not associate with you anymore because you didn’t let their baby come to your ceremony, you’re better off without them. Apparently everything is about them.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on September 17, 2022 at 1:26 AM
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I agree with this. Many people don’t take well to exceptions made for select children because it shows favoritism. People in general don’t realize that just because someone doesn’t say to the hosts’ faces that they are offended by an action doesn’t mean that they are not offended behind the scenes, because it’s considered impolite to voice that.. By choosing a child free wedding, you have to accept that some people will decline and not hold that against them at all.
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