No babies at wedding...

I don't know what it means to be "not equipped for young children," most places in the world are not baby-proofed but somehow most children make it through childhood just fine. And parents can decide if they are comfortable with their kids being around adults drinking, that is not your call to make. I also have no clue how "it's a very extravagant wedding" factors in. These are all frankly b.s. reasons to not have children at the wedding.

Luckily for you, you can choose to not have children for no reason other than not wanting children there. But I can understand why people side eye if you tell them this stuff. If you choose to not allow children, even ones who are still breastfeeding, expect that some of your guests will be unable to attend or will leave early. If you're cool with that, then just roll with it.

We had about 10 kids under age 10 at our wedding, the youngest being only a few months old and a few being toddlers, and we had no issues whatsoever. Having kids at a wedding doesn't automatically spell disaster. By your logic, your vows could also be ruined by an adult coughing, or someone having a heart attack. Or a bird or other wild animal nearby making noise. TONS of things could happen, are you protecting against all of them? Not inviting people with physical or mental health issues in case they have an episode during your vows? Just something to think about .....

Its your wedding and if you don't want kids there thats ok. That's not you being unreasonable or mean. I'm not having kids at my wedding. The only two kids that will be there is my flower girl and ring bearer who both will be ten.

Ya, I agree with Stephanie. It’s perfectly acceptable to say you don’t want children at your wedding but “it’s not equipped for children” and “it’s an open bar” seem like silly reasons. Most places aren’t baby proofed and children go to restaurants and parties all the time where alcohol is served freely. Also, it’s an extravagant wedding. I went to a very expensive wedding and there were children there. Plenty of people have adult only weddings because that’s just what they want and that’s okay. I guess I can see why you feel the need to explain it to your mom but you really don’t need to explain past “we don’t want children at the wedding.” I don’t think you’re being dramatic about it but perhaps your mom is getting all crazy because instead of putting your foot down and just saying no, you just keep giving her random reasons to work with and find a solution for.

Also, if your MOH is still breastfeeding two babies, I would prepare for her to leave early, even if she is the MOH. I think it’s a bit presumptuous to say, “they take bottles” but you also said your MOH wanted a dress that was easy to breastfeed in. Sounds like she needs to breastfeed, not give them bottles. But I digress. if any other guests have children, I would just prepare some people may not be able to make it or they will also leave early. As long as you’re okay with that, then continue on.

For the record, playing devils advocate, we allowed family to bring kids only. Most opted not to so we only had a 9 month old and a 2, 4, 7, and 9 year old. Not one of them made a peep during our ceremony and not one caused a ruckus during the reception.

On the flip side, we have a bunch of friends with kids. Not one couple who RSVPd no did it because of their children (none of our no’s had kids). Most were local but we even had one couple who didn’t even ask and left their one year old with grandma and flew across the country for us. So it might not even be as big a deal as you think.

I totally agree with you. We don't want any children at our wedding for the same reasons. Our children are coming because they are in the wedding. Your mom will be ok, at the end of the day you both have to do what is best for yall besides it's your special day

I think it's ridiculous that you're expecting your MOH to give up breastfeeding her children for your wedding.

First thing, THIS IS YOUR WEDDING. Secondly, this is about you!

No one has a right to rip you a new one because you do not want kids.

Personally, I do not want kids at my wedding either. BUT... my family and friends all live states away and if I say no children.... well I could expect for only my mom to show up...

I am sorry you have been put in this situation and I wish you luck.

It's perfectly fine to not want kids at your wedding. It is YOUR wedding. As long as you are not going into debt for the wedding, have it however you want.

It’s normal not to want children at your wedding, but I would just suggest considering the feelings of others you care about. If your mother found out it’s probably because your MOH is upset and this could cause some tension between you and her. Do not be upset if she wants to leave early and does not appear to be happy. Will the father of the children also be at the wedding? With babies that young there’s no way in hell I’d ever hire a babysitter. If she doesn’t have someone then I’d also prepare for her to back out of your wedding. You absolutely do not have to have children at your wedding, but just consider the position it puts the mother in because if she’s going to have to choose between your wedding and her children, there’s no way she will choose your wedding.

You're allowed to not want kids, just anticipate some people won't come because of that.

View Quoted Comment The older one will be almost 2.

View Quoted Comment There is handicap access hoevever, it is located right beside the gazebo where we will be standing. So during the ceremony the only was to really exit is behind through the stairs.

I am not having any children at my wedding but I do believe there should be an exception for breastfeeding babies. That is how they get food! She is clearly breastfeeding them and if she wants to make an exception and leave them bottles/milk/formula at home with a babysitter that is great but I wouldn't expect that of her at all.... Everyone says "It's your day!" but this is a situation in which I would really consider how it is going to affect your MOH...

View Quoted Comment I have considered it. She was in a wedding a few months ago as a bridesmaid and left both of them at home with a babysitter so I know it can be done for my wedding.

View Quoted Comment So she knows how you feel, let her make that decision on her own. It doesn't mean she liked it or it was comfortable or the best decision for her or the children.

View Quoted Comment I’m not expecting her to give it up. She was in a wedding a few months ago where she left both children at home. They are perfectly able to be fed and provided for. By the time of the wedding the youngest will also be taking some baby food as well and the oldest will be two. They both take bottles daily so they are okay.

View Quoted Comment Yeah but if this is what was comfortable for her then she wouldn't have been discussing their seating or been disappointed when you told her you didn't want children there...

We will not be having children at our reception but have opened the invitation to all of our guests that have children to bring them to the ceremony at the church. We want our guests to relax, eat, drink and enjoy the reception with us. We don't want them to have to worry about where their children are or that they need to leave since they are getting tired.

My mother had a similar reaction when I said the only child under 18 allowed was my nephew who is also my ring bearer, but at the end of the day, I knew I didn't want children at my wedding.... even though we're having it at a zoo.

One of my bridesmaids also has a young child, but she fully supported my decision to not have her son at the event. She'll have more fun without worrying about him, and he'll be happy at home with his grandparents.

It's your wedding. You get to make those decisions, whether they're popular or not.

I agree with you. We are only allowing children at our wedding that will be coming from out of state, because there will be no real way to have a babysitter. Two of my bridesmaids will have babies (around 1 year old) by my wedding day. One already asked how her baby can be involved and I felt awkward but just explained that we are hoping to not have babies if possible and hopefully this can be a fun night out. She has a babysitter she can use, so they were fine with it.

But I get where you are coming from, because I would probably be pretty annoyed if a baby cried during my ceremony. I've seen it happen many times and parents not even leave the room.

I have always considered weddings adult only affairs, but when my FH and I got engaged I found out his family views weddings as family functions, with kids. Because his family are all out of state we will have kids at our wedding. It would have been a huge deal to not allow children to come and I was not willing to have that fight. If a child cries or screams or talks loudly during the ceremony, I just hope I am so focused on getting married that I do not notice. It makes me feel better that others have said the kids behaved at their weddings because the few weddings I have attended with children one cried or talked during the whole ceremony.