Night-before"tradition"

I just planned on having my two MOHs staying with me the night before. And it's only if the choose to. I know one will for sure, but they other I don't know. But since it is her wedding, I would do what she asks. Or maybe find a common ground? Can you go over the night before the wedding and do all the slumber party things and then go home when everyone goes to bed?

This is so stupid - you are completely in he right. Sleep where you will be comfortable. Just because the bride wants this doesn't mean she's being reasonable or that you must comply with every request or demand!

I've never heard it referred to as tradition but I know many do it. I'm having a sleepover with my bridesmaids and bridesman as part of my bachelorette party. We're going to have a late-night horror movie marathon. But we're doing this as a throwback to our favorite activities when we were all in college together.

A few of my bridesmaids will be spending the night before the wedding with me in my AirBNB. But it's a 3-bedroom bungalow, so it just makes sense.

I've been in a half dozen weddings, starting when I was 17 up through mid-30s, and have never had a sleepover the night before. And 3 of those wedding were for very good middle/high school friends.

I prefer to be well rested for any event, especially a wedding. That can't possibly happen with a sleepover the night before.

MY FH and I will be renting two separate air bnb's. One for FH and the groomsmen and one for myself and the bridesmaids. We live in the city where we are getting married, but agreed that it would be much easier to have rental houses so when we do come back home after our honeymoon, our house is clean and spotless. We will be reserving the houses for the rehearsal dinner night (the night before) and on the wedding night to allow for anyone staying at the rental houses not to have to rush out. This was a good alternative to keeping guests out of our home and spending time with our bridal party.

She's the one being unreasonable. Perhaps ask if there's a different night, maybe a week or so before the wedding, to have a sleep over? I was of the same mindset as you are, and it's so important to sleep well before the next day. It is a super fun day but also very draining, we ended up leaving a half hour earlier than we thought and were exhausted but happy to be home later that night.

Not a tradition. Until recently when it started popping up on reality TV, I never heard of a night before wedding sleepover, except where people travelling had no choice at all . Most people do not have even evening gatherings with the couple, if it is a local wedding, and the rehearsal occurred in the previous 2 weeks. And unless a wedding requires travel, most bachelor parties are not the night before the wedding, either. . . . I'll stay over in close quarters with friends hiking, camping and such. Or after travel a long ways from home. But no night before wedding Group Sleepovers as a bridesmaid or bride. The last thing I want before a big day. The charm wore off around age 14 , for pj parties.

It's a bummer that she seems to feel so passionately about ALL of you guys being there like that. It does sound really uncomfortable, and all going on a night before a really huge day. It is her big day, so maybe consider just sucking it up and doing it for her... But I agree with some PP in here, it would be a grand idea for everyone to pitch in for a nice hotel suite, so everyone has reasonable accommodations - that's a nice meet in the middle

PS. I'm on your side. I'd prefer to just sleep with my fiancé... in our own hotel room. lol so if that's any consolation, you're not alone.

I would maybe tell her you don’t think you would sleep well but you appreciate the invite and you’ll bring breakfast for everyone bright and early the next morning. I’ll probably be sleeping at home in our bed with my fiancé the night before. I can’t ever get to sleep at a decent hour when he’s away and I don’t want to have horrible eye bags the next day from no sleep. Pushing an unwanted tradition on you, the bride, seems a little u reasonable to me. If it were HER big day and she requested that of you as a bridesmaid then yeah, I would probably say go along with it. You’re going to need your sleep though for your wedding day.

View Quoted Comment Have to do it? No. From changing your hair color or style, to getting ready as a group, or having group spa days or Manis and pedis, multi-days bachelorettes or overnight stays all together the night before a wedding, bridal party does not HAVE TO do anything that individuals do not want to do. Cooperation with the basics of a wedding, getting the outfit, doing some celebrating or parties or R and RD, if reasonably possible, yes. But bridal party members should not feel they have to indulge a bride's every whim, because it is her day or months to boss people around. That is not necessary. Bride may of course express preferences, but must understand that it is a BM or MOH option to decline anything they do not want, as long as they get their dress or outfit, and attend any pre-wedding photos, the ceremony, and most of the reception, totalling a reasonable number of hours. But to say anyone should be willing to spend 28-30 or more hours straight with a group of wedding party and B or G, ending in the wedding, even if they really don't want to, because it is the bride's day? NO. If they want to, fine. If they don't, fine. Not reasonable to expect such favors, or for bride to get upset with those who do not want to go so far above and beyond usual expectations.

I've never heard of it being a tradition, but I've done them. For my sister's wedding, my previous wedding, and I'm doing one this time. But I'm also renting a place that has beds for everyone so everybody gets a good nights sleep bc I'm not able to function if I don't get enough. I don't think either of you is being unreasonable

This “tradition” is important to my daughter, the bride as well.

Thus, we have reserved the bridal suite + 2 hotel rooms for the bridesmaids, so everyone has a bed. However, we are applying common sense and telling the bridesmaids these arrangements are “optional”.

We acknowledge some girls will want to get a room with their sig other, the local girls will likely want to go home and sleep in their own bed, and some may simply prefer their own hotel room. On the other hand, we think it will be nice for any girl to have a paid-for option if they are interested.

My daughter is simply hoping they all hang out for a few hours on the night before the BIG DAY.

Typically, brides do like to have their wedding party together for multiple reasons. One it allows them to have fun and provide comfort to last minute anxieties. Two, it helps with ensuring that everyone is up and ready to go when needed. I hate social events lol. However, my cousin wants all of her BMs to stay at the hotel the night before. I live 5 minutes from the hotel and don’t feel the need. I’m still working that out on my own. That same cousin is in my wedding too. By then, she’ll be married and I understand that she probably won’t want to sleep without her husband the night before mine. I would suggest letting her know your concerns but also making the compromise to spend time with the girls the night before and then leaving for your night’s rest. I’m going to invite my girls to my mom's house the night before but only request that my MOH (my best friend) stay with me. The girls are invited to stay but it’s not a requirement. I still want to spend some girls’ night time with them before the big day. Hope it works out but no one is necessarily being unreasonable.

In the weddings I have been a bridesmaid in we have always stayed together the night before but FH never was in a hotel the night before because he either was a groomsmen or the wedding was close enough that he drove. My bridesmaids will stay with me the night before

We’re doing a sleepover but it’s because we rented out what is basically an amazing Airbnb on the property of our venue. It has more than enough spaces for all the bridesmaids to have a bed, and I’ll have my own room in the master. I have another friend who is getting married and she’s got the same setup with her venue. However, I can’t imagine doing that in a one bedroom apartment. I would just say though that it’s the bride’s wish and you should do what she asks if it means that much to her. It’ll be a long day for you, but it’s minimal considering what we do for friendships!

I could see doing it if there was a an air bnb or something where everyone would have their own space so you could close your door and get rest but I couldn't handle it if there were that many people in that small space. It's hard enough for me to sleep and they are all going to keep you up.

Oh I had originally misinterpreted this as being your wedding and a debate with your future spouse. But where it’s not, it changes everything to me. Doesn’t matter if it’s an actual “tradition” or not, the thing that matters is it’s what the bride wants to do. You could choose to skip out, but to me, it really doesn’t seem like that big of a sacrifice— just one night of bad sleep, for your very best friend. Not such a big deal. If it was your wedding day, yeah, you’d want to wake up sparkling and fresh. But it’s her wedding day and her last hurrah with her girls is her priority over that. I think that’s fair. You’re not the one who has to be on their A game the next day— she is. It’s okay if you’re a little tired. I’d follow her tradition for her wedding, and yours for your own!

View Quoted Comment

If you aren't good enough friends to sacrifice a night of good sleep for something she wants for her wedding, then in my opinion you aren't here BFF and you shouldn't be a bridesmaid. This isn't some ridiculous request like shaving your head or something. It's a sleep over. Suck it up, have an extra coffee the next day, and may your BFF happy for her special day.

Ohh, zing! 💥

View Quoted Comment A few hours sleep, and the 8 hours of work I would ordinarily be doing/ earning $360 for while at home, and the $520 I would have to pay at standard rates for a babysitter for 5 kids, while I stayed with the bride 6pm the day before to midnight of wedding day, seems a little much to make bride happy . Getting ready in a group ( though I need neither hair or makeup done) and having a pj party is $880 I for one cannot sacrifice because a bride thinks it would be fun to be constantly with her bridal party. A lot of people have lives. It is one thing to miss a day's work pay, and pay a sitter, for 8 hours to be in a wedding. But to give up a second 8 hours of pay, and pay a huge babysitting cost, for pj parties and fun with hair, makeup and nails, NO. It is not a little sacrifice. It is the kind of sacrifice I make to stay with someone's kids or elderly parents for 30 hours when a friend and her SO are at the hospital having surgery, or waiting for a parent or child in the or. It is a sacrifice I make for a friend, to pick them up 2 states away after a car crash, paying their emergency room costs, and any fines or court costs, so they can leave the jurisdiction and I can drive them home. Or bail them out from jail, or bail out and clean their house after a flood, or rebuild a garage that collapsed after a tree fell, or a host of other things which prove me to be a good friend in need. But whims like PJ and getting ready group happiness whims, are not worth the sacrifice.