Nicely saying "No your kids aren't invited"

How did you address the save the dates?

Address the invites only to those invited. If people RSVP for their children or extra guests, call them and tell them you can't accommodate additional guests.

Brace yourself OP.

STDs and invites are explicit with Mr and Mrs only. Unfortunately we don't have "inner envelopes" to make it even more clear. But the ones whose kids are invited has Mr and Mrs, next line: Susie and John, etc. They know their kids are invited. There's literally 5 families total who have kids invited and 2 of them will most likely opt out of bringing kids because they're needing to travel and the kids aren't even a year old.

Sounds like you addressed STDs properly and if you address your wedding invitations just like that, there should be no confusion over the fact that it's adult only (except for those 5 families).

I think the way you handled it when your friend brought up the kids was fine. If anyone else RSVPs for their kids or mentions they plan to bring their kids, politely tell them you can't accommodate them, just like you did the first time.

Stay strong! I'm fiddling with creating our invites right now. Thinking of putting something like:

__ of <# of seats reserved> Joyfully Accepts

__ Regretfully declines

This way it clearly lets the guest know how many are really invited. I also addressed them appropriately; but other brides in our family still had issues with that when RSVP still came in with kids when it was clearly only for the parents.

We are adding a space that says ___ of ____ guests attending. & writing in how many are inviting. So if it says ___ of 2, they should probably get the hint their kids aren't invited.

@HailyMarie...same here; but for some reason my ex didn't show in my comment above?!?

There is no line that says 2 of 2 reserved or anything like that. It says "M_____" and underneath they write their first name to choose their entree, chicken beef or fish.

Do you have a wedding website? I put "We both love little ones, but this will be a late-night, adults-only affair." on ours. Also, could you get new RSVP cards and delay the invites a week? It might be worth it if you think a decent amount of people will try to bring their kids.

I generally think that adult only receptions are totally fine. However, it gets a lot trickier when most of your guests are OOT. Finding a sitter for the weekend is much more difficult, and some parents are not comfortable with that. Hopefully, other guests did not make the same assumption

That's not really an option. I'm happy with the RSVPs as they are and I paid WAY too much for them. The wedding website is an idea. I do know my side of the family knows already and the kids are mostly on FH's side. I also know FH's mom can help spread the word if need be too. She's actually one of the people we consulted from the beginning. FH has 12 cousins alone (and then about 8-9 sig others) and most have kids. It would have been too much- she agreed. We invited first cousins only but not cousins' kids.

Just noticed that you don't indicate how many seats are reserved. I would definitely have you FH's mother spread it word of mouth, especially since most of them are OOT.

Got it. Yes I just looked over the list. A few of my friends invited have kids but I'm pretty darn sure they have enough sense to read an invite and understand the idea. My family (except for 3 of those 5 families) really don't have kids. And none of my BP is bringing their kids.I already know their travel plans, etc. It's FH's cousins' and friends' kids. Only one of his GM has kids but I think he already knows kids aren't invited. (I get the hotel rooming lists so I see people's reservations and how many adults/children..etc.)

"I'm sorry, we cannot accommodate children. We are hoping you can join us, but we will certainly understand if you cannot."

My FH and I partially filled out the RSVP cards for all our guests to make it clear who was and wasn't invited. It was meant as a back up for anyone who elected to ignore the big "We have a 17+ only guest list" on our save-the-dates, but it does the job.

We're limiting it to adults only for space reasons (my family is massive and many of my cousins now have multiple kids). I put "adult only reception" on our save the date and will also be putting it on our invitation.

In addition to that, I have multiple things on the RSVP page on our website to indicate extra guests will not be tolerated. I attached an screenshot below. We also put at the end: "Due to the guest limitation of our venue (and Kelsey's massive family), we are unable to extend the invitation to children and extra guests."

IN ADDITION to THAT, we will pre-fill out the RSVP cards for those mailing their RSVPs in. I attached a screenshot of my RSVP. We will fill out the number of seats we reserved for them, and also the second blank on the "____ of ____" line.

I'm hoping people get the fucking hint.

WW just included an article titled, "How to Politely Tell Your Guests Things They Don't Want to Hear ," in an email yesterday. It's not new, but still relevant.

On the note of children it said,

“You can’t bring your kids.”

Having a kid-free wedding isn’t something you should feel guilty about. It’s a perfectly reasonable request as long as you give people plenty of notice so guests with children can make other arrangements. Since it’s not proper etiquette to write, “No kids allowed” on a wedding invitation, we recommend you very clearly denote who is actually invited on the invite. Put the names of the specific invitees on your inner envelope, and list only the names of the people you want to attend on the RSVP cards. Hopefully the absence of the kids’ names will be a clear sign that it’s an adults-only affair."

Full article here: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/etiquette-advice/tell-guests-what-they-dont-want-to-hear?utm_medium=email&utm_content=c&utm_source=exacttarget&utm_campaign=weekly-newsletter

Most people don't know wedding etiquette unless you are going through the wedding process or are involved in some capacity. Since I knew I was having a kid free wedding, I spoke to each guest personally and told them ahead of time. I did have one guest that brought his 13 and 16 year old kid to the wedding which really pissed me off since we discussed it at length numerous times.

Good luck to you!

Honestly, we just spread by word of mouth. There was some kickback from his family because they have so many kids already, but we just made sure to tell our families to spread the word. If anyone RSVP's with their kids, just call them and employ what Celia said.

I would do what Celia says. However, if MOST of your guests are OOT, I'm not sure what you expect them to do with their children. Expect more declines.