Hi everyone! Newly engaged future bride here. I’m in a serious predicament and need some help.
My fiancé is under the impression that my father should be paying for the big things (venue, DJ, and photographer). I am assuming he got this logic because his family is traditional — his sister is recently married and his parents paid for pretty much all of it. For background: my parents are divorced. My dad makes a good living, but not nearly as much as his parents bring in. My mom is out of the question to even ask because she struggles financially, has never gone to college and has always struggled since their divorce. My dad is a man of VERY few words so to even consider having this conversation with him is eating at me. My fiancé has made it clear that he does not think we should have to pay for the larger sums of money because we do not live together and we are trying to save for a house. We are also both in entry level positions in our respective jobs, making below average money for where we live. He pretty much said that if we cannot get the large bills covered, we will be engaged for years. I do not want this, and I truly have no idea how much we will foot ourselves. I am willing to stop saving and rather put money away monthly towards a wedding, but he would rather continue saving for a house. He pretty much told me if his parents needed to pay for something big, they probably would, but he does not want to go that route. I feel like it’s rude to ask my father for money, but rather see if he comes to me. At this point, my fiancé And I have two completely different views on this and I don’t know what to do. I was so excited and now I literally feel sick over this. I always pictured my family contributing, but now that I see the real life dollar signs in front of my face, it seems FAR too expensive for one side of the family to have to manage. Has anyone been in similar situations or have any advice for me? We really want a Fall 2021 wedding, and due to COVID weddings being rescheduled for 2021, I want to get the finances out of the way sooner rather than later, so that we can book a venue at least.
