New Significant Others

When you invite someone it is expected that they will bring someone to enjoy the event with even if they are single. Many of our friends are not bringing there husbands but close friends. We have rented 3 large beach homes to accommodate the 40+. People. I never once thought no you have to come alone or you have to bring your husband.

It took about two weeks for FH and I to make things official. With that said, if I had just started dating him two/three weeks before I'm due to go to a wedding, I probably wouldn't have asked to bring him nor would I expect the bride and groom to be willing to pay for someone I had just started dating. However, FH and I knew where this was going two months in. We had the big wedding talk and what we both wanted out of life. Six months later and he asked me to marry him so with Trish's cut off, my fiancé wouldn't have been able to come to the wedding because we had only been together for eight months by the time we got engaged. With the exception of my FSIL who will still be a minor at the time of the wedding, everyone who is single is getting a plus one just so I can cover my bases.

@Fall Bride: *I* wouldn't consider someone my SO that fast, but it is also not up to me to judge other people's relationships. People get to define their own relationships on their own terms. If the two people involved consider themselves to be a couple that is all that matters.

Maybe get their so's name and include it on the invite that way if they break up they can't bring any random person since they weren't invited

I think it depends on what you are going for...

I faced and I am still facing this issue myself. However I have made up my mind and I am sticking to it... it is my wedding wedding after all not the guests'.

My fiancé and I deiced that we would do plus one if;

1. you are married (of course)

2. if we both know your SO well

There are a few people who have asked about plus ones and I told them maybe (I am at max on my guest list).

We are going for a smaller wedding and quite frankly your flavor of the week just isn't that important to me. And if you not being able to bring your SO of 2 months is what will stop you from coming... that is fine by me.

I'm personally not into having a bunch of people at my wedding that I do not know. My FH is a complete introvert. Every one of my friends and family has said to him at some point " do you talk?" And when he does speak they joke, "OMG he speaks!" Because of this he asked for one thing in this entire process, please only invite those of your friends/family that we have actually hung out with. So in my case, I'm not inviting folks "new boos." On top of the complete annoyance I have with photos at home in albums of "family friends" who we no longer even see or speak too. The "girl friend" who was really just a good time on the side. Nope Nope Nope.

So I am on the other extreme of this dear. I'm sorry but I just don't get it.

ETA: Me and FH have been together now 6 years will be 7 on our wedding day. He has only been invited to 1 of the 8 or 9 weddings of my friends and family. He doesn't care and neither did I. Why would anyone want to attend someone's wedding of whom they do not know?

I would.

When DH and I just started dating, he was in 2 weddings. The first one, the bride actually called me (I'd only met her once) and invited me as a guest and asked who I'd be most comfortable sitting with during dinner (DH was at head table). We'd been dating for 6 weeks. The second, we'd been together for a few months and I was specifically told that they would not be extending an invitation to me because my DH always went to other weddings alone and they planned on him not bringing anyone. I'd like to point out that both situations were brought to me unsolicited.

Needless to say, Bride 1 and I have become great friends. Bride 2 didn't come to our wedding, her DH did though.

I feel like they should have been given a plus one to begin with, regardless of whether or not they were in a relationship at the time. I just don't understand the concept of expecting people to come to a wedding alone.

I'm with @ future mrs. G. It's crappy to be sitting at a wedding alone for all those hours. I gave every adult a guest, no matter if it was just a friend. both my husband and I have large extended families, and in some cases I didn't know if my 4th cousin was in a relationship at the time. on my RSVP I just asked them to write how many guests were going to be in attendance -I knew my family would respond appropriately though!

I agree with @futuremrs, I think guests should automatically be given a +1. Honestly, I don't think it's rude if you add "and guest" to the invitations if you don't know the significant other. Maybe they want to bring a friend instead? I attended a wedding last year with a friend as my guest because my FH wasn't able to go.

Personally I would rather be referred to as "and guest" than not invited at all but apparently that's an unpopular opinion. If someone is so offended by not being named on my wedding invitation, they can politely decline because I don't need that kind of drama in my life haha

You don't get to decide the seriousness of relationships, nor do you get to mark "a year" or "don't know them" as your barrier for an invite.

Personally, we are not doing +1 for single guests, but if they are dating someone when we send invitations (even if it's a week), they can come with that person.

I'm of the belief that every adult over the age of 21 should be offered a plus one. I don't care if it's someone they've been dating for a week or whether it's a friend.

I agree Rachel, every adult (anyone 18 or older) is getting a plus one for us... Some are being named because I know the SO, some are being referred to as "and guest". I saw a post on here a while back that was about a grandma wanting to bring a friend to the wedding so she had someone to talk to and I believe everyone should feel comfortable at my wedding so they're welcome to bring one person to guarantee they'll know somebody.

Again, a lot of you who are inviting people to bring friends don't live in the land of $200+ per person weddings.

"Everyone should do what they're comfortable with. I had a cousin marry and he only invited the blood aunt/uncle; not the married spouse and not the cousins. We all thought it was weird, but kudos to them for doing what they wanted and how"

Kudos to them for what? Being disrespectful assholes? Yeah, kudos on that.

Katie, Trish, Pia, Sierra, and Mrs.FallBride are all wrong. Etiquette is not about opinion and doing what you want to do for what special snowflake reason you have (note: I did not call anyone a special snowflake). It's about treating people with respect and when you start judging other people's relationships as serious or not serious based on your own arbitrary rules, you're wrong.

ETA: AL the price per person at my wedding was over $200 a plate, counting the open bar, and we gave every guest a plus one with the exception of the handful of small children we invited. We saved for years and years to be able to have a wedding where we could host our guests well and make sure that everyone was happy and knew how grateful we were for their support and presence.

@Elizabeth, I'm not saying there aren't people who give everyone a plus one. It's just not in our budget.

My post was in reference to the following Mrs. Fall Bride:

"Guys, be serious. If you've been seeing someone new for just a couple weeks, are you even referring to them them as your bf/gf yet??? Probably not."

It's not up to you to discount new relationships because they don't meet YOUR definition of boyfriend/girlfriend.

Elizabeth said, "Katie, Trish, Pia, Sierra, and Mrs.FallBride are all wrong."

^^^this^^

All of our guests are close to us and have other family members or church family members there. We are trying to keep it as small as possible. We're not really inviting friends or acquaintances outside of the "circle", so no one will be technically "alone". For instance, FH has five sisters, one is married. So, the married one's husband will definitely be invited, but those not in a relationship are not getting a plus one. They will be there together.