jkhines1979
Devoted December 2009

New Future Sister-in-law from HELL!!!

jkhines1979, on May 26, 2009 at 11:09 AM Posted in Planning 0 16
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This weekend my FH's sister confronted him (not me)about being a bridesmaid in our wedding. Mind you that I have already picked out the dresses and paid for flowers. Everything is almost done. She claims that it is tradition for her to be a bridesmaid! I didn't know that was true! I just think that her whole reason is to upstage me at my own wedding. I'm not the biggest fan of her and when we asked in Decemeber what part she wanted play in the wedding she said whatever we wanted. I don't want her as a bridesmaid , we aren't even friends!! I'm so mad!!

16 Comments

Latest activity by Yolanda Pierce, on May 30, 2009 at 11:23 PM
  • Lacy
    Master October 2017
    Lacy ·
    • Flag

    You in no way have to have her as a bridesmaid. Your bridesmaids are supposed to be those closest to you. Your FH's groomsmen are supposed to be those he is closest too. Besides, if you have everything already done (dresses, flowers) than she obviously waited until the last minute. Do not worry about her. I'm sure your FH will back you on this as well. Good luck!

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  • Melissa
    Super September 2009
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    I mean it is traditional to have brothers and sisters and even cousins of the bride and groom in the wedding party but if your not friends with her nor do you hang out with her WHY would she assume otherwise???? I dont think it is up to her AT ALL regardless of her reasons if she should or should not be in your wedding... it is YOUR decision!!! Why cant she do a reading or something like that???

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  • ruth
    Expert July 2009
    ruth ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry that you are going thur that with his sister. What did your FH tell her? I think your bridesmaid should be someone that is important to you. I say stand your ground. Good luck

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  • InStyle Event Company
    InStyle Event Company ·
    • Flag

    WOW! I had to laugh when I read this because my husbands sister -in -law not even his SISTER had the nerve to say the same thing. I thought I was the only one and I even felt guilty at one point. If you are not close to her then I say just give her a reading or something simple if she doesn't like it them oh well if your FH wants to make her a groomsman then go with that too. Good luck!

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  • jkhines1979
    Devoted December 2009
    jkhines1979 ·
    • Flag

    Thanks ladies!! I just needed to make sure that I wasn't wrong about it being tradition for her to be a bridesmaid. My FH told her no. I'm just scared that there is gonna be drama later! We already asked her to be a bridesmaid and I have no idea now if she will do it....Oh well the motto of our wedding is "Show up and Shut Up!!"

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  • jkhines1979
    Devoted December 2009
    jkhines1979 ·
    • Flag

    Oops...I mean we asked her to do a reading....not be a bridesmaid. She has not answered back about it yet.

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  • Sheena Marie
    Devoted July 2009
    Sheena Marie ·
    • Flag

    I know how you feel about the future sister in law from Hell.. I have one also. After reading this I am thankful that she hasn't pulled sh!t like this on me. She is my FH sister-in-law and she just had a baby.. he is soo cute! Anyways we went to see her and she said that I would NEVER be an Aunt to HER son. I couldn't help but laugh. I guess that was mean but she wont let her husband *FH's older only brother* show up to our wedding because she doesn't like me. That does bug me!

    So honey, what i have done about it to relieve some of the stress about.. just stopped caring. If she wants to play the tradition card then who the hell cares.. let her. Its your wedding, your wallet, your day. She will down the line forget that she even wanted to be in the wedding in the first place!

    That is something I have learned for the ladies on this site, **its your day do what you want**

    Good luck!!

    • Reply
  • attack of bridezilla
    Just Said Yes May 2010
    attack of bridezilla ·
    • Flag

    Pshh!!! you can tell your sister in law she can go to the corner and cry her eyes out!!! i feel you on having a sister in law from hell..i DEFINITELY HATE MINE!!!!! i agree that your bridesmaid should be the girls closest to you and I have used my sisters in mine. Granted I asked my freak of a sister in law to be in it, but after last week she is definitely OUT. Ugh...good luck on your wedding though ^_^ and if your sister in law gives you any huff or puffs I can totally beat her up for you lol.

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  • M
    Just Said Yes May 2009
    maybride09 ·
    • Flag

    DON'T HAVE HER AS A BRIDESMAIDS but give her a role, like program attendant, or readers. I had a similar situation and I am SO happy that I didn't have her. Without going into all of the petty details of my new sister in law...your big day is stressful enough and you don't need someone like her ruining your day.

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  • chearysgirl
    Super March 2010
    chearysgirl ·
    • Flag

    Whew!! I thought I was the only one..my FH has 4 sisters and a SIL that is the total definition of bridezilla....2 of the 4 sisters hate me, for no reason other than gossip...so I would tell her, based on my experience with my FSIL, to tell her to get over it, its your day...who cares what she wants...lol

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  • Lynsi
    Devoted July 2009
    Lynsi ·
    • Flag

    I didnt know that was a tradition either. Personally I think tradition is out the window these days. You can do it the way you want to. I am catching it for having my 2 brothers in the wedding (they are close to my FH and he asked if they could be in it) But I am not close to his siter at all and she will be a guest. Just dont listen to her and let it roll of your back. You will never please everyone when it comes to these things so if you wont regret having her in it then she can come as a guest!

    • Reply
  • almostaMRS.
    Beginner October 2010
    almostaMRS. ·
    • Flag

    Ive seen this done, have her as an honerary bridesmaid. She can have the same dress, help you get ready be there (although I know you are against it) and be involved but she will not stand at the front with you. She has all the same duties but doesn't have the official title of brides maid. I think that might help bridge this tift between the two of you. Or have an usher escort her to the back or the room or even farther out the door!Good luck definitly know where you are coming from!

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  • K
    Beginner September 2009
    kanng ·
    • Flag

    My fh has 4 sisters and not one of them are in the wedding dont let her spoil your day she doesnt need to be in the wedding the bridal party should be YOUR close friends not people who are going to cause problems plus their job is to help you and do for you it doesnt sound like she would be much help so just ignore it and if she doesnt stop tell her you would appreciate it if she would just be happy for the 2 of you and everything is already done

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  • Lori LaCarter
    Lori LaCarter ·
    • Flag

    Wow, everyone has given you wonderful advice. I just wanted to let you know that tradition or not, this is your wedding and weddings are not at all like they were back in the day. This is your wedding and your special day. You will have this day only once and today's brides doing what they want when they want and that is their tradition. It is perfectly acceptable to make your wedding in your own way. Nothing is the same as it used to be, so do whatever makes you the most comfortable. If she does accept the reading, I suggest getting someone to review the reading prior to her reading it; just in case. Congratulations on your wedding. I know you will get it all worked out.

    • Reply
  • Nieshia & Jamal's Wedding
    Just Said Yes September 2009
    Nieshia & Jamal's Wedding ·
    • Flag

    1rst off, CONGRATULATIONS 2 u & ur FH! GOD bless u 2 now & n the near future. 2nd, ur sister n law is out of line. it is not her place 2 have even the nerves 2 confront u all. it's u & hiswedding, not hers,..if it were meant 2 b n the wedding, she would have already known her place, but if she good as well understands that u r no fan of hers, she is definitely attempting to stir up disaster on that special day. I don't no her personally, but it sounds like she really luvs her brother & it would mean a lot 4 her 2 b apart of the wedding party, but @ the same time she could have ben a woman & came 2 u about the situation cuz now, u hav lost a bit of respect 4 her bcuz of that. I say, u all should settle down cuz u don't want a misunderstanding w/ n e 1. u don't need n e animosity w/ n e 1 who is going 2 b apart of ur family now. u need 2 look @ the bright side,. u will b married 2 the luv of UR life, so talk about it & let her no how u feel, it will help. lay it all out on the tbl NOW!

    • Reply
  • Yolanda Pierce
    Yolanda Pierce ·
    • Flag

    That is a very old tradition.... Like the bride family paids for the wedding. If you don't want her in your wedding party you don't have too. Remember this is your day and you don't want someone acting as if they are more important then the bride. Hope all goes well.

    All the best,

    Yolanda

    TLC Party Planning

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