New friend

If the date on your profile is correct, it's too soon to ask anyone to be a bridesmaid. I would wait until you're about 10-12 months out at the earliest to start asking people. Your bridesmaids should be your nearest and dearest. If this is a person who you feel is super important to you in your life, then I don't think how long you've known them matters. However, if 1 of you moved tomorrow, would you two still be close? Or if your kids stopped being friends because they no longer have similar interests, would you still be friends?

I think it is way too soob to ask anyone. You don't really need to ask until about 6-9 months before your wedding as relationships can change. Like Hannah mentioned, your bridal party should be made up of those closest to you that you can't imagine having standing by your side.

View Quoted Comment Thanks... wedding is a year and 3 months away. And I would say we definitely would, our kids are only 3.. so we have play dates all the time.. and just us parents go for dinner dates also. All of my friends like them, and as does my family.. we also hang out with their family also.. I guess we will see in another couple months.. but I probably will ask her, just want to make sure it's not odd since we've only known each other for 2 years

Don’t ask anyone to be part of your wedding party before 6-9 months before the wedding. Also, there are many posts on the forum of brides asking the wrong people too soon. A bridesmaid should be part of your innermost circle, such as your best friend in the world. Does this woman classify as that or just a close friend? Some people don’t want any responsibility of being a bridesmaid and prefer to be a guest which is a huge honor in itself.

View Quoted Comment I don't think 2 years is odd. Just make sure that this isn't someone who, after you've moved and looking at photos 20 years from now are like "oh yeah, that person."

If you feel that close to her, then I don’t see why not. It’s not about how long you’ve known the people you want to ask; it’s what kind of impact they’ve had on your life. One of the friends that I asked to be a bridesmaid, I’d only known for three years at the time, but I knew I wanted her to have a special part in my wedding, and inviting her wasn’t enough. I also knew I would regret not asking her, which is something I have a feeling you will as well if you don’t ask your neighbor. Go for it, and good luck!

View Quoted Comment Thanks !!!

I asked my bridesmaids 1 year and a month out and I only have 3 and they are my dearest friends, one I’ve knows for 10 years / one for 5 and one for 2 years and I live with her and have gotten super close. I will be moving away from them in a few months but I don’t think negatively im sure they will still be my friends next year lol it really depends on how you feel about the person only you can decide it. Yes people have horror stories but you know your friends best. You can still have a fall out with someone you waited until 4 months before to choose so hey just do you!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for being positive!!! And not attacking 😂.... really appreciate it! I've been saying "geesh" to some of the reply's lol so thank you!! ❤️

Kaitlyn, most posters' points can just be distilled down to: there's no downside to waiting. There's a potential downside to *not* waiting.

I'm a professional in the wedding business and I've seen *MANY* a friendship (5, 10, 20, 30 years worth of friendships) break up over the course of wedding planning. Sometimes it's absolutely ridiculous, petty stuff... sometimes it's frustrations or issues that have been festering under the surface for years. I often say that having a wedding will pour gasoline on the close relationships you have in your life. If they're good, this time could strengthen bonds and create deeper connections. If they're on shaky ground... all those cracks in the foundation will be revealed.

That's why it's advised you wait until around 6-10 months out from the wedding to ask. I asked all of my bridesmaids 9 months out. I have 9 of them. I've known most of them for 15+ years - never fought with them, have always had deep connections with them. I still waited to ask.

Also I want to note: this is a forum for advice. It's awesome to give and receive support, but the most helpful of replies will typically give you fact-based advice. As great to hear as they are, people sharing success stories (essentially saying, "I'm doing it/I did it, so you're fine to do it, too!") don't really help. They're giving their anecdotal, individual experience. Again, great to hear and nothing inherently wrong with them, but as an anonymous internet forum, I suspect most people come here seeking factual advice. No one was harsh, they just gave straightforward advice.

There is nothing wrong with asking someone who has been a friend for a short time. But wait for her and all bridesmaids until 6-9 months. There is nothing a BM needs to do before 6 months. BM dresses ship in 2-12 weeks, so they are purchased 3-4.5 months out. Buying way ahead can leave you stuck. By 8 months people usually know if the are pregnant, and will be at last months or post partum and not able to do it. People who are going back to school, or spouse is, or changing jobs, who may have zero time off and a weekend work schedule are much more likely to know about it. These are frequent causes of losing bridesmaids. Your bridesmaids may be excited for 2 weeks. Then again at 5-6 months? Few are. And it is an oft repeated story, why isn't my team bridesmaid
like on TV? TV paints a very false picture. No one is attacking you. They are telling you, for your own happiness, you would do best to ask at 6-9 months. And if you are still good friends, and no problem has come up, 😊ask.

I think it depends on a few things. I’m getting married March 2023 and we’ve already asked our bridal party since most of their finances are in iffy situations and they’re all out of town. You should start looking for a dress soon, and if you want your bridesmaids to be involved in that, you should ask them now, though you don’t have to have them be official when you don’t that. It really all depends. We’re happy we asked our bridal party so far out, but no one on this forum will tell you to do that! 😂

View Quoted Comment But the point is you can lose a bridesmaid at any given point for whatever reason regardless of when you decide to ask them..... she could wait and still have a falling out lol

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Sure, but you sure as heck have a lot less time for wedding stress to cause a fall out. Again, I've literally encountered this numerous times over the course of my career. If I could rank my "most common post-wedding complaints" from brides, I believe "I wish I hadn't asked my bridal party so early" would rank around #2 or #3.

People are still your friends before you ask them to officially be in your wedding. If they offer to help/come to appointments/etc, it's totally cool for them to do so pre-bridesmaid-proposal. Solidifying those spots later on generally causes less of the "I *must* help out" mentality some bridesmaids have, which creates a sense of obligation. Other than getting a specific dress (and that's even becoming less common nowadays) there's nothing a bridesmaid has to do pre-wedding that a friend couldn't. It's just giving yourself a nice little buffer zone. Asking early works out just fine for a lot of people, but if you're asking for a blanket statement on "best practices" advice, 10-6 months out typically yields more positive results.

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This is so true (in my anecdotal experience!) - especially the part about revealing the cracks in a relationship!

I tossed up about asking some friends, and am so glad I waited, for a variety of reasons. I know it's exciting and you want to tell people they're in the club and talk endlessly about your wedding with them! But it honestly was for the best I didn't ask immediately.

No, it's not too soon! By all means, if you've become good friends you can totally ask her to be a bridesmaid! Just be aware you probably should not become a bridezilla as you will be living next to each other for years to come! LOL