Nervous our wedding will be a “disaster” (no coordinator)

What are you nervous about in particular?

Hmmmm can I be honest? I see almost every bride on here say something or some things may go wrong the day of but they still enjoyed their day. Prepare for the best you can. Either way the day will be amazing and you will be so happy. I would make a check list of things you need for the day of and see what you can do in advance and see if you can delegate. Remember your wedding party and the groomsmen will need to get ready as well. I would also see if anyone asks for help though as they may not want something thrown on them ya know? The biggest thing is ensure the vendors are ready to go the day of: cake delivery, florist, catering, etc...

You personally make sure you have all things you need for the day of. If something is forgotten it is ok. Plenty of people have a wedding without a day of coordinator. If something does not go too well then I promise you that no one will notice. Weddings I have attended the bride may say afterwards the issues that happened or I saw it being a part of the bridal party but none of the guests knew. It'll be all good.

My Future SIL Is Our Acting Day Of Coordinator. She Doesnt Know Anything About The Wedding Right Now But I Plan On Getting Together With Her To Go Through Everything. My Venue Required Her To Sign A Form That Had A List Of Her Responsibilities. Im Sure You Can Find Something Similar On Google To Have As A Guide

You can definitely have a wedding that isn't a disaster without a coordinator. I personally wouldn't want to delegate that whole task to someone who doesn't do it professionally, but there are ways to make things more manageable. Do you know what kinds of vendors you'll be hiring or anything else you'll need to keep track of? We didn't have a coordinator for our miniwedding and it went really well. I can help you make lists and figure out what or how to delegate things if you me to.

My wedding is upcoming now in a month and we have about the same count and I don't have a coordinator. I've asked one of my friends (who's invited) to help with the few things that need attention before I make my appearance. I wouldn't worry.

Google day of coordinator checklists and ask your family to help out and use that as your resource.

View Quoted Comment I guess mostly that nobody is going to know what to do and when to do it as far as the ceremony and the schedule for everything. I’m also nervous that the wedding will feel like technically what it is, cheap. I want it to still feel special and feel like a wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, I’m definitely planning for some mishaps to happen. I feel like that’s definitely inevitable, coordinator or not. I just hope the whole thing isn’t a complete disaster!

View Quoted Comment The only vendor we’re for sure having is photographer, we may be hiring a DJ but we aren’t sure if we’re going to be able to budget that quite yet. So luckily there won’t be much vendor coordination needed, but I also feel like that actually makes some things more complicated because it’s up to us or family to figure out.

View Quoted Comment What about a caterer?? If anything- I'd suggest this above literally almost anything else. Definitely before a DJ, tied with photographer (unless it's an elopement or restaurant dinner reception, then photography is #1.) People on WW feel strongly about this for various reasons.


I understand the challenges you're mentioning, maybe giving us more information can help us offer more specific solutions? For example- what is your venue? Backyard? Elsewhere? Knowing who you're hiring, what you're doing, timeline, etc. Will help us help you.
My first suggestion is looking up one of those "call anyone but the bride" templates and begin filling it out. These lists generally designate who vendors can call with issues but could be otherwise useful. Depending on your decor plans, I have various suggestions.
Lastly, we all have wedding nightmares, don't let them get to you.

I just got married last weekend with no coordinators and 55 guests. Everything went perfectly! My MOH's boyfriend was our go between and once it was ceremony time we had a friend start the music and 15 minutes later we were married!

View Quoted Comment We’re planning on doing a taco bar, one of our family members is a cook and offered to make the food for us so we don’t need to hire catering! Since it’s just close family who we regularly see and eat with nobody has a problem with that. Also I apologize I thought I mentioned that we were having a backyard wedding! My father has a huge yard with a great little (covered) area for the reception or backup for the ceremony in case it rains.


As for more details we really don’t have much because I’m kind of overwhelmed and not completely sure where to start. We’re thinking 5pm ceremony start time, we’re planning on doing a first look so that will eliminate some time in between ceremony and reception. Decor will be lights, fake greenery/florals (we’re only doing real flowers for the bouquets and boutonnières.) So luckily lots of our decor can be set up any time in advance really. That’s all of the details that we’re set on as of now.

We have a group of family who will all handle little task. My aunts, the mother of the flower girl, mother of the groom and we have two junior ushers. I’ve given them little jobs to make the day go smoother but I also wanted to make sure they didn’t spend the whole day working instead of enjoying themselves.

View Quoted Comment I wouldn't worry too much then. and no worries! I might've missed it, either way! Just make sure your family member has everything they need to keep food at safe temperatures (I'm sure they'll ask you about outlets and etc. If they need but never hurts to check!)


If you have any decor that you need set up day of (like centerpieces) I've seen a great tip about taking a photo of how it should look and keeping these items together- whoever is in charge of that set up gets the picture you took! That way they know exactly what you want. The tip actually suggested printing the photo and having it on each box containing 1 centerpiece each for organization, but to me that seems overkill. I think texting the pic to whoever is helping and having all centerpiece stuff in 1 box is good enough lol.
It sounds like things will go smoothly, and definitely go over important things with a few key people and put them on the "anyone but the bride" list. Examples could be things like- parking, directions, attire, weather. Even if you don't have a professional DJ I would suggest getting someone to MC to announce things (and switch songs) like grand entrance, dances, taco bar opening, cake cutting, final call, etc.
Happy planning!

View Quoted Comment Thank you sooo much this was really helpful!

View Quoted Comment I think unless a volcano erupts right by where you're getting married it won't be a complete disaster hahaha. You just have to be as organized as possible. I am a type a planner and organized and I'm used to throwing large-scale events such as a high school graduation or something like that but something may still go a little wrong with my wedding day and it's okay. But remember you started your life as the wife of the person you love is never a total disaster even if some things don't go great.

If it helps, I made an excel spreadsheet of every little thing when I worried (ex: who puts out cake cutter, who puts out chairs, etc.) and of someone who was responsible for it and the time it should be completed by. Didn’t have a coordinator and it worked out - Good luck your wedding sounds beautiful!!!! ❤️

View Quoted Comment Okay. I read some of your follow up posts and I saw that you're having a backyard wedding that starts at 5pm. Our miniwedding was in a backyard and started at 5pm. Here's a lot of information that I hope you'll find useful and not overwhelming:


Before the wedding we made a timeline and then used it to come up with things we needed for each step, which was really helpful in making me less anxious and it might help you, too. Once you have a schedule and everyone knows their part, things will kind of just happen. Someone who isn't you should be responsible for receiving calls that day, but you probably won't get any anyway. I gave my brother's phone number to our photographer in case she tried to call and I didn't answer. My mom was responsible for the other vendors. My husband and I walked through it the ceremony with our officiant the day before, but we didn't have a full rehearsal. We didn't have a cocktail hour or any dancing, but if you have a DJ, they'll handle the timing of that for you, and if you have a person with a spotify playlist, you can put them in charge of the song/dance timing.
Someone else who was having a miniwedding asked for a schedule so I typed up what we ended up doing. I left in literally everything that went wrong. It wasn't a lot, and even with a couple of hiccups, I still think the day was perfect. (You can look at some of my pictures if you want to see it not being a disaster.) You can start with this and adapt it to your situation.
The day before: the tent is set up and other rentals are delivered, we figure out how to play music outside (ideal phone/computer/speaker setup)
The morning/early afternoon of the wedding: hair and makeup are done, florist arrives to deliver and set up flowers. She needed the arch, you'll be able to figure out what you need.
4:00 caterer arrives to set up. (Ask your relative what they need for tables, utensils, plates, etc.)
4:15 photographer arrives. I give her a quick tour of the space, she starts taking detail shots. (She's my friend and this worked well, but you may want more time, especially if you're doing a first look.)
4:30-4:45 the 7 people not already at my parents' house arrive, groom hides in my brother's car because he doesn't know where to go
4:45-4:55 people find their masks and flowers, officiant tells people where to be during the ceremony (they looked pretty organized, so he probably gave good directions, but I had only asked him to make sure there was an aisle), groom goes to basement
4:57ish secret first look on basement stairs, no photos
5:00 my dad gives a signal to my brother to start music, then leaves the house with me to walk down the "aisle."
5:01 everyone pauses while the groom is summoned from the basement.
5:02 my dad and I finish the walk down the aisle, fist bump at the end.
5:03-5:15 ceremony
5:15-6:40 since there is no recessional, my new husband and I walk past our one row of guests and keep walking to take a loop around the house. We have a few minutes to ourselves. Our photographer meets us on the other side and starts taking our portraits. Everyone else starts eating, drinking, and socially distanced mingling. After our photos, we rejoin the rest of the group for food and drinks. We have masked small group photos taken and return to eating and drinking.
6:40-7:05 speeches: 2 actually planned, 2 supposedly planned, 2 unplanned
7:05-7:45 ice cream, final pictures (the sun sets)
7:10-8:15 lawn games (some using citronella candles for light)

8:15-9:15 "guests" leave

9:15-10:00 we hang out under the tent with my parents and brother.

10:00-10:15 we gather what we need from the house and wait for our Uber to arrive. It does not, so my dad drives us to the hotel.

View Quoted Comment You're very welcome! 😊

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I'm in agreement with this.None of us know what tomorrow holds, prepare but dont let stress find its way in. Very good advice, Kristen