Expert April 2018

Nervous about being the center of attention!

MrsBanks, on March 8, 2018 at 8:54 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 35
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30 days out today, and I'm so excited!! I cannot wait to finally be at the altar marrying my best friend. I am a little nervous about the whole-walking down the aisle, not tripping, not crying my makeup off-thing though. Plus I know everyone's eyes will be on me. I've never liked being the center off attention, it makes me uncomfortable. And so do a lot of compliments. What are some ways to deal with these nerves?


  • EngineerInLove
    VIP September 2018
    EngineerInLove ·
    If you have a lot of nervous energy while speaking, curl your toes in your shoes. It's a good way to fidget discretely.

    If you're on the verge of tears, pinch the skin between your thumb and index finger, but make sure to do this early! Once tears well up they have to go somewhere.

    When looking at your guests, pick either one person to focus on in the middle-ish of the crowd (someone who makes you calm!), or when in doubt, look at your FS!
  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·

    I get the same way. I usually have a hard time making eye contact with people when I'm speaking to a crowd - I'm self conscious of that so it makes it worse. I think the difference between this kind of anxiety and normal "public speaking" anxiety for me is that you aren't addressing the crowd - you can focus on FH, the officiant, your wedding party, etc. Anyone that you are going to be interacting with you are probably very comfortable with. Focus on that and not everyone else.

  • Bluey8616f
    Devoted August 2018
    Bluey8616f ·
    I feel the same. I feel self conscious when I know I'm being stared at. I'm planning on just focusing on FH and trying to zone everyone else out. Thank God our ceremony isle isn't long.
  • PHXBride
    Expert February 2018
    PHXBride ·
    I totally tripped coming down the aisle! Not many people even noticed. Only those who heard me say "you didn't see that" realized what happened. They are so so so in love with the moment they don't notice little details. Don't sweat it. The hardest moment are the few seconds when you are lined up, just before you walk out where your emotions are in high gear, but one step later they all melt away and you are off to meet your love.
  • PHXBride
    Expert February 2018
    PHXBride ·
    Ps, my husband said he was watching me with an eagle eye and never noticed! He was surprised to hear this.
  • MrsBanks
    Expert April 2018
    MrsBanks ·
    View Quoted Comment
    You guys are making me feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better lol
  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·

    Isn't this why people drink a little when they get ready? I mean not enough to be falling down or puking, but a mimosa or three to take the edge off?

  • A
    Dedicated September 2018
    Alysha ·
    I am so worried about saying something wrong at the alter infront of someone. I already talk really fast so I stumble on my words. Good luck and congratulations!
  • Rachel
    Dedicated September 2018
    Rachel ·
    I worry about the same thing. I hate speaking in front of crowds and being the center of attention. I’m sure I’ll have some form of alcohol to calm my nerves before I walk down the aisle.
  • MrsBanks
    Expert April 2018
    MrsBanks ·
    I'm not a big drinker but I'll probably smoke a bowl before I walk 😂
    (sorry in advance if talking about that isn't allowed)
  • A
    Dedicated April 2018
    April ·
    I understand how you feel. My husband and I are are renewing our vows on the 28th of April for our 10th wedding anniversary. We have actually been together for 20 years. My planning of this started off as a small dinner a few friends and close family. It has now turned into a full-fledged wedding at the church I grew up going to and 157 people on my guest list with the reception after the ceremony. I am soooooo excited but soooooooo nervous at the same time. I’m not used to all eyes on me and my husband is a very laid-back. I lost my mother six years ago so just with the planning process the tears have been flowing so I can only imagine that day. My first wedding was very small as I go to a house church right now so we only had about 20 people and some food at my sister’s house afterwards. I attend a church where we have 2 co-pastors so one originally married us and now the other is renewing our vows. Everyone is helping to make my day special as they know that a piece of me will be missing even though she will be there in spirit.
  • Emily
    Beginner April 2018
    Emily ·

    Take deep breathes, count backwards from ten for the nerves.

    As for the crying, I'm a big cry baby too and 36 days away from the day. I plan on having a mental focal point. Every time I want to burst out into a blubbering mess of pure joy, I'm going to mentally walk through a recipe. (I bake)

    This distracts me from the pressure of being in the spotlight and keeps me from crying so much.

    This is just what I do, but you get the idea.

  • Kristen328
    Super September 2018
    Kristen328 ·
    SAME. The couple of times I was a BM i was nervous just standing there. I can't imagine how I'm going to be on our wedding day. Oh well 😂
  • Talullah
    VIP May 2018
    Talullah ·
    I also hate being the center of attention. My FH is meeting me 1/2 way down the aisle. He instantly calms me so I will be focusing on him & nothing else until I get to him. I think I'll be ok once I'm with him but I guess I'll find out for sure in May.
  • Tracy
    Super January 2019
    Tracy ·

    I don't worry about being in front of people....that's my job every day. The walk has me the most worried. I cry at television commercials. I'm listening to my procession song every day in hopes that I get immune to it. Also am going to ask my dad to have some jokes ready to tell me before we go down the aisle. LOL

  • O
    Master October 2017
    O ·
    My H and I both don't like attention, at all. So we walked down the aisle together to the altar, so neither of us would have to be alone and nervous (I had no one to walk me down the aisle, he didn't want to stand at the altar waiting for me). We also skipped introductions at the reception. We both felt weird for our first dance, and we both awkwardly froze while cutting our cake because all eyes were on us, again. The best dance we had, and that felt more special to us was our last dance when no one was left.
  • O
    Master October 2017
    O ·
    I dealt with my nerves by remaining calm, and reminding myself to be happy otherwise I would have spiraled ino a panic attack. Lots of positive mantras. Lots of breathing. I only sipped prosecco, bit didn't want to over do it because I felt if I had too much I wouldn't be present.
  • Josh & Justine
    Super May 2018
    Josh & Justine ·
    View Quoted Comment
    This is my exact plan for the day. Being the center of attention is awful for me; I was internally in panic-mode for pretty much my entire bridal shower. But, mantras/positivity reminders/prosecco are the game plan for the wedding.
  • Mrs.Sanok
    VIP September 2018
    Mrs.Sanok ·

    I am nervous too! I am not good with all the attention on me and I am not a good public speaker. (that is why I go back and fourth on reading vows.) But I keep thinking about how maybe if I just think it is me and FH standing and just talking to each other maybe I will be fine! But I still have a long time to go!

  • Allison
    Expert October 2018
    Allison ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you for this!

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