Need your opinion on a destination wedding

People get a little crazy with their weddings. Don't worry, it will pass.

That's a whole lot of nope for me lol

Some destination brides and grooms are arrogant in their planning (not all). Your brother is clearly one of them. Don't feel guilty - HE chose to get married with a ceremony that would cost his guests (too) much.

To be clear: a non-arrogant destination bride and groom would not get mad if guests can't afford to go. He is angry, and that's a shame.

I haven't had this exact situation but a similar one surrounding a DW that was going to be over $3000 per person...and we weren't able to smooth things over until after the wedding...it might be good to wait or ask your parents to speak to them on your behalf. Good luck!

I agree that they're being incredibly unreasonable. We're having a DW. Even if nobody can come, we're okay with that because it's where we want to be married at. At the end of the day, we're still married. We're also marrying at Disney World. No passports, usually cheap airfare from anywhere, and there are super cheap hotels if they don't want to stay on site.

People who have destination weddings need to understand that the world does not revolve around them and that by making the CHOICE to have a DW, you also make a CHOICE to miss out on your VIPs (family) being there. The number one rule of planning a DW is to ask your VIPs before you settle on it or book anything. Did they ask you? If not, then they're wrong, not you.

That said, how much notice did you have? I had a friend who had a DW in Cabo and gave everyone 2 years (and 3 months) notice so people could save up if they wanted to attend.

Thank you everyone for your responses! They decided on the location to accommodate her extended family (her immediate family lives in the U.S.A). They are quite wealthy. We were given about 4 months notice before we needed to buy the tickets. It sounds like we should just let it all hopefully blow over...

Thats an awful lot of money and it wan't a lot of time to start gathering it up!!If your brother won't talk to you about it, maybe as others have suggested ask your parents to speak to him for you. While we didn't have a DW we had a lot who traveled from abroad and gave at least a two years notice, so they would have time to save if they wanted to come. One who I would have loved to come (but didn't expect to make it), couldn't as she has 7 children and even if the weren't in school it would have been ridiculous cost to pay for 9 plane tickets!! While she would love to bring them all home, your talking about nearly $9000 just for flights for the whole family!!! When it comes to DWs no one should be expected to go!.. Hopefully it will all work out for you..

Yeah, that's shitty of them. Right now our date is up in the air due to extenuating circumstances, but our plan is to send STDs to VIPs (and probably all invitees, since our max guest list is 30,) at least 9-12 months prior so they can have time to book whatever they need or save what they need to save/get time off.

I'm sorry your brother has reacted this way. Hopefully it will blow over. Maybe you can offer to take him and his FW to a nice celebration dinner once they're back from the DW?

Surely it will all blow over. That's a lot of money to come up with in 4 months, especially with student loans!

You shouldn't feel bad at all. I'm having a destination wedding and knew that many people would not be able to attend. We considered eloping, but then decided to invite other close family and friends to enjoy the celebration. It's definitely a choice and no one should feel pressured to attend. Buy them a wedding gift off their registry and just want for the storm to blow over.

How horrible. A coworker of mine recently had to use almost all of her vacation for the year to go to her nephew's DW. Imo, they can seem a bit arrogant. But even if they didn't plan their wedding around their family's ability to attend, they need to at least respect that their wedding is not worth breaking your bank. You seem like you really tried to make this work, but just can't. Send them a nice gift and a nice note and don't feel bad.

My sister's second wedding was a destination wedding to Aruba and, although it broke my heart, I couldn't afford to go. I think she was disappointed but ok with it. I agree with everyone else that it will blow over.

People often lose perspective around their weddings (and children, for that matter!). Keep the lines open and try not to hold a grudge in return.

He may just be a little upset at the moment , cause to be honest I wouldn't expect my brother or sister to pay that kind of money to come to my wedding but it would be kind of hurtful that they wouldn't be there ,, I'm having a DW and I got a travel agent that set up payment plans for ones who want to attend and sail but I'm not expecting everyone to come with it being 3 hours away from home