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K
Beginner May 2019

Need opinions

Kaylah, on August 5, 2019 at 7:28 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 44
Hey!
May husband and I got married in May. We are already wanting to start our family. We are only 20. Do you think we are to young? Should we wait and have babies later? Options please

44 Comments

Latest activity by Kaylah, on August 14, 2019 at 5:27 PM
  • Jill
    Expert April 2020
    Jill ·
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    It's obviously up to you, but I would enjoy life a little as a newly married couple! Once kids come in the picture, it's hard to go out and do things for yourself. Everyone on my dad's side of the family has typically waited about 2 years to start having kids and they all said it was the best decision they could have made.

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  • Michaela
    Super May 2020
    Michaela ·
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    First, make sure you both feel stable: You’re both in decent jobs, have housing that is compatible for children etc. maybe you want to google questions you should discuss before having a child and talk with your husband. Also consider that you’ll miss out on a lot of the fun stuff young 20 somethings like to do. If having a baby is a bigger priority to you than that stuff and you both agree on the big topics than go for it!!
    if you’re getting some push back from people, you could consider being married for 1 year and then start trying 😊 I know a lot of people suggest enjoying marriage for a bit before children!
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  • K
    Beginner May 2019
    Kaylah ·
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    See the thing is we don’t really do anything at all. We spend our weekends home and watch tv and I do homework
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  • allisonrose
    Dedicated September 2019
    allisonrose ·
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    If you’re asking complete strangers if
    you should start having kids or not, I would say the answer is no.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    This decision is yours to make. Remember that there’s no harm in hurting. Babies can always come later, but you can’t take them back once they’re here.
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  • K
    Beginner May 2019
    Kaylah ·
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    He has a good job and makes decent money. I’m a full time student and work part time. We don’t really do anything as is. Yea I’ve heard that but the way I see it is if we get pregnant we have 9 months which would put us at being married for a year
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  • K
    Beginner May 2019
    Kaylah ·
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    Just want people’s opinions. I want a baby but I want to see how other people think. My family all had kids young but I just don’t talk to them much so I don’t know what it’s like
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  • Jill
    Expert April 2020
    Jill ·
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    I understand not doing anything on the weekend. FH and I just hang out with our pup most weekends. However, when there are times we would like to do something, it's even mildly inconvenient boarding her (and child care isn't any cheaper). I would at least wait until you are done with school. Not saying it's impossible, but having a child to take care of while also going to school full time would be very difficult.

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  • Michaela
    Super May 2020
    Michaela ·
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    Oh school changes things. I would wait until you’re done with school. Even if you’re doing well and handling things, new classes can change things. One you don’t expect to be challenging can surprise you. Take that from a student who had a 3.8 gpa you then failed a class. School is too important and expensive to have to put yourself through unneeded stress. Of course, there are parents who do school just fine but if you can wait I would wait
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  • K
    Beginner May 2019
    Kaylah ·
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    See I’m going for my masters though so I have 2.5 years of my bachelors then I have to teach two years and go back two more for my masters so that would put me at almost 27
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  • K
    Beginner May 2019
    Kaylah ·
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    Thank you for your opinion it means a lot
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  • Michaela
    Super May 2020
    Michaela ·
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    I think if I was in your position I would have the baby after undergrad and then take a year or so until starting grad school. Just to get nice and used to the new “normal” with the baby. Of course it depends on your husbands opinion and how much he’s able to help!
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  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
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    Wait until you are both 25 and your frontal lobes are formed. Seriously. I was 32, hubby was 35, we had good jobs, supportive family and neighbors and it was STILL hard. You have the rest of your lives to be parents - enjoy your young life now!!!!! (Besides, I did not want to be a gramma at age 40, lol!!!)

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  • Jessica
    Dedicated September 2019
    Jessica ·
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    PM me and I'll give you my story, I had mine at 19 it was the best thing I did but there are some things you should know from someone whose done it.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I would wait a few years and enjoy the freedom you have now Smiley smile

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  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
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    I would finish your bachelor degree first.
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  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita ·
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    A few things, I'd suggest enjoying being married for a bit. I also agree with the brain maturation comment, but that bit is up to you.
    Also, make sure that you can manage child care as well as a roof over your heads. A kid is stressful enough without knowing if you can afford groceries or the electric bill. For an estimate, a day care in my area easily runs from $800-1400/mth.
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  • Michelle
    Devoted October 2019
    Michelle ·
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    Kids can be extremely stressful depending on what day you ask. The last 2 nights my 1yr old son has woken up screaming from teething and my 3 year old daughter got into their closet and tore everything apart and that's not including the mess they make of their room lol. I would suggest finishing school and making sure you guys talk about everything, childcare, babysitters, cost if diapers formula and any other expenses that will include kids. Plus the first year will be the hardest from the lack of sleep which can take its toll on a relationship if you guys don't communicate.
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    I would wait till you are out of school,
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    Then you are paying for wedding and baby. While going to school and having a part time job and being pregnant.
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