Need guidence on how to tell guests that wedding is off

Mail out a formal notice to everyone that received invitations with something along the lines of ...

Mr. and Mrs. James

announce that the marriage of their daughter

Sandra Ellen to

Mr. John Doe

will not take place

I would take time to personally call them and just thank them for being so supportive of you guys. Then apologize and just tell them that financially you can't afford it at the moment and were most likely going with a more affordable option and will be planning something in the future. Just make sure to keep them updated...and I would also offer if they need help cancelling any arrangements they made that you wouldn't mind helping if need be.

Call your out of town guests first, so if they haven't bought plane tickets yet, they won't. If they are, is there any way you could do your JOP on the original date and then maybe have a backyard or very low key celebration?

It looked like it was just going to be a backyard kinda wedding according to your plate question/post.

Any way you can just change this to a backyard or park reception? Dry wedding, just liters of pop? You don't need to be in a big hall with fancy centerpieces and favors.

cut the DJ and use an i-pod?

I work in a wine shop. The only big ppurchase we have made besides the deposit on the room was the booze. At least I have that to console me lol.

I agree with Hayley... Maybe make it a pot luck - I know its not what you planned but it could definitely work. If your extended family is anything like mine you will have more help than you know what to do with.

Pot luck sounds like a good idea.

Also, if you are having trouble calling people -- I can understand it would be upsetting -- can you enlist someone to help spread the news to OOT's first?

Can you just crop the budget as Hayley suggested? Or have a pot luck/BBQ in a friend or relatives back yard or local park? You already have the booze, you can keep it barebones on the decorations, etc and still have a lovely event. This is about getting married, and having your family share in your commitment and love. I know it’s easy to get sucked into all the other things that go into it and think that you NEED them. But mostly, you really don’t.

If you can’t salvage your date, definitely phone your out of towners immediately, since they will be shelling out cash for the tickets and hotels, etc. Then I would send a formal notification via the mail telling people it’s off for now and it may be a good idea to have someone follow up with a phone call a week or so after the mailing.

Invitation recall cards are common in this situation. Kimi k. has posted a traditional example wording for you, but here are a couple more:

Mr. and Mrs. James Jones

Regret that they are obliged to recall

The invitations to the marriage of their daughter

Sandra Ellen Mr. John Doe

Due to the death of Mr. Doe's father

Robert Simon Doe

Here's the helpful article they were found in too:

http://www.hudsonvalleyweddings.com/guide/cancel.htm

It would be good to have a backup plan, for the few guests who may have already made plans for a visit, they can still celebrate with you in a smaller style.

You can add that the ceremony will be held privately.

Hoenstly- I'd start making phone calls. Tell them that the relationship is still going strong, but due to personal circumstances, you've had to delay the wedding. Right now, people may have already booked hotel rooms or even plane tickets! You need to tell them as soon as possible.

But is there any way you can just have a simple affair- cake and punch reception or something?

Just dont do it through Facebook lol. My husband and I were planning a wedding for 09/10/11 but due to certain things we decided to legalize our marriage in May. We got a lot of heat from his family. It was mainly his fault for not calling anyone but they gave me alot of heat. My advice is to gather you BM's if you have any and either call or write everyone. They should understand. Things happen. We are planning a celebration for next year and some people have said that they wont come but you know what at the end its you and your husband. Good luck sweetie.

I would stay if you go the route of the formal recall say "wedding" not "marriage" You are getting married. you arent having a wedding.

If they go to the courthouse, they are still having a wedding. However, if you can't manage even a backyard reception, you could say, "They will be married privately at a later date." That lets people know that it is only the big wedding, not the relationship, that is off.

You definitely should start calling your out of towners, but time is of the essence for everyone. It's a busy time of year.... I like 2d bride's suggestion. You want to make sure they know it's the wedding that's being postponed or cancelled, not the marriage.

Have a small ceremony with a JOP or a cool officiant, then invite your parents and witnesses out for a glass of champagne and a little wedding cake. The important thing is that you're married...

Once you do it, you'll feel much better; it'll be a relief not to have to think about that aspect anymore.

Thank you ladies for all of your advice. Phone calls made. Major traveling plans were not made yet. Crisis averted.

Just an update...A Fairy God-Father stepped in and we are having a small reception after the JOP. Thanks again for all of the advice and support.