Need Advice

Do not give in. Are they paying? No. And besides you’re trying to make this a safe capacity. If they don’t like it then it is what it is.

I feel this is your day, if you try to please others it will only end up in regret after what is meant to be your special day.Stand firm in your decision of who you want there.

I would not give in. If this is not what you and FH want then stand firm on your decision. They are not the ones paying for the wedding so they have no say in the situation. You are not being a bridezilla, they are being rude and inconsiderate.

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Well said, completely agree with everyone

Put your foot down. Do not let anyone bully you into paying for extra guests you never invited. If they don't respect your decision, they are free to stay home.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, I really needed to read this and find support somewhere. Family members just make things hard sometimes.

View Quoted Comment You are right, thank you! Although they might not like it but at the end of the day it is my and my FH wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, I really needed to hear that 😥.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, its painful but I already had 2 important family members refuse to attend if people who they didnt want, or wanted them to go attended my wedding..... but it is what it is as you all said!! Thank you so much.

Family- gotta love them!!! You’re right- it’s your day! Where in the hell are these people coming from, thinking they can invite others??? I would be livid! Stand your ground!

Let them know you are doing the responsible thing during COVID and keeping the numbers down not to mention it is your budget. Stick to your guns don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You are paying for 50 people. You have seating for 50 people. You invited 50 people.

Anyone who isn't those 50 people will not have a seat, food, or admittance.

Full stop, end of story. (Venue can help you enforce.)

Heck no girl! They are completely out of line and disrespecting you and your FH. Stand your ground.

I say you keep rejecting their invites. If you don’t want them at your wedding then they shouldn’t be there, simple as that! Are you and your fiancé paying for the wedding? Or is it the people inviting others?

You are correct than no one you do not invite personally, is invited, as long as you are paying for the wedding reception, with no assist from others. Of parents are donating, you do need to let them have some say, perhaps 2 people each side, 8% of those present. As co-hosts, that is customary.
If you do not want that, do not accept any money except for small specific things : your gown or new suit, flowers, transportation if hiring any. Nothing at the reception.
In general, you need not invite anyone you have not seen 3 or more years, unless you wanted to and we're prevented by distance. It will s actually thought impolite to invite a whole bunch of people you never see. Most people consider a substantial gift appropriate for anyone they are close enough to, to be invited. But they are not that close. You know it, and they know it. So you look like you are expecting big gifts from virtual strangers, though relatives. This is quite a small wedding. You invite people in circles, those you are closest to, first. Them those you see regularly, but are less close to. Then those you see a few times every couple years, and invite to each other's homes. Closeness does not go by the family tree,cousins before friends. It goes by how close you feel to others. Friends in the see regularly group come before family you only see a few times in a couple years. These strangers: if you heard they were passing through town for work or vacation, would you invite them to be your guests at a restaurant that cost $60-100 per person? Would they do that for you, or ask you over for a few hours, coffeecake and drinks? They do not meet the most basic tests for good manners. You are right. And make it known, no one you have not put on the list is invited, and they are not to be invited to showers or other wedding parties or dinners. Don't accept your family being rude to you, trying to override you as hosts. The hosts decide who is invited, and makes sure to invite the SO of anyone in an established relationship. That is all. Guests do not invite other guests Speak up about it. They are showing extremely bad manners.

Don’t give in, anyone who asked would agree picking YOUR guests for YOUR wedding does not make you a bridezilla. Maybe see if someone else in your family can help you with the conversations? Like a parent or someone else close to you?

View Quoted Comment The ones paying is my FH, my future mother in law and me. But I have no issues with my mother in law and if she wanted to invite whoever she wanted I would accept it because she is being kind enough to help us with the wedding. But the family I'm having problems with are the ones that arnt going to financially help not even with the small preperations like cake, decorations, etc.

View Quoted Comment Oh yes I would definitely tell the extra people no the !

Ugh I so feel for you on this. My mom and I had some major arguments on the guest list a few weeks ago. I don’t think she was inviting people ahead (at least I hope not), but she was very insistent on inviting people I haven’t talked to (my favorite examples are two ex wives of my stepdad’s father). I had my fiancé step in to calm things down and let her know we have a guest limit and we’re sticking to it because we are the ones paying for it. She hasn’t asked anything about it since, but I’m probably not going to be sharing the final list with her. It’s YOUR wedding, not your relatives. Stand your ground and invite who YOU and your FH want to. Hope things get easier!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! And I hope theres no more issues with your guest list either! 🙂