Name Change Options

I’m going to hyphenate. I’m an only child and a daughter so it ends with me.

You could also use his name socially and continue to use your name for official documents.

I went back and forth on this for a while because I’m one of the last with our family name, but I’ve decided to take FH’s name. Using both (each is 8 letters, mine is 3 syllables his is 2) hyphenated or not is just too much to me, signing my full name barely fits on the line sometimes as it is. FH told me he doesn’t mind if I want to keep my name, but it’s not just his name, it’s my kids’ name too and that’s ultimately what decided it for me.
I’m not sure about the process to add your maiden name as a second middle name, but having to get a court order and having your birth certificate changed does sound like a giant pain. Hopefully someone else in the community can share their experience with that process. Good luck!

So I just dropped my maiden name and took his, but I am in NJ. You do SS first. Then the MVC just used what I had listed on my new social security card. I don't think they would have cared if I had 2 middle names, especially since people have that from birth sometimes.

Sorry for the double post, but another option is to drop your current middle name and replace it with your maiden name. I don't know if that was something you considered.

I have a friend that had this happen in Texas. Wanted to add her maiden name to her middle name and social security allowed it but DMV did not. It was a mess. I would call around and find out for sure before you attempt it.

I would take his last name. If it’s a MUST that you keep your maiden name I probably would do the first option. Court ordered name changed aren’t hard to get at all, it’s just a process that’s all.

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Thank you for the reply! Do you find that writing out your hyphenated name on everything is an ordeal? This was why I kind of don't want to hyphenate, it's just a lot of letters that I'll be committed to write out on everything. Or I've heard some online forms don't recognize the hyphen as a character.

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I misread - I thought you said you did hyphenate already haha. My other question would be how did you decide to hyphenate versus something else?

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I have considered this, but FH is concerned about being viewed as a family unit when we have kids someday, because then legally I would not have the same name as the kids/husband. Would certainly be easier to do this though because then I don't have to do any paperwork haha.

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I get this - both our names have 7 letters each, so writing it out legally with a hyphen or none will still be a lot to write. But the kids thing is also what convinced me - someday, I want us to be viewed as a family unit. I think I technically still could with either option, though Option 1 would be the sure way of doing this, and I think long term would cause less problems. But the potential to have to go through such a process is pretty daunting lol.

Thank you for your reply!

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I'm a little hoping the MVC won't really care, but if you're from NJ like me then you know the DMV is just hit or miss. Part of me is hoping they won't notice if I tack on an extra middle name. I don't really want to drop my original middle name as I really like that name too.

Thank you for the reply!

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Oh noooo this is literally my fear lol. Do you know if she ended up having success, did she have to go to court/ change birth certificate, etc.

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I do want to take his last name, I've decided I really want to be Mrs. FH LastName and be a family unit with our kids. I think I'm afraid of the potential for court ordered name changes because I don't necessarily want to change like my birth certificate and all that, I've tried researching and can't tell if this is what would happen or not.

Thank you for your reply!

View Quoted Comment Birth certificate? You don’t have to change that when you get married and change your last name. Your birth certificate can stay the same, that’s what you were born as.

View Quoted Comment So she did have success but only because she knew someone who worked for DMV headquarters in Texas and said the rule was open to interpretation and basically called her local DMV as a higher up person and made them allow it. If she didn’t have that connection she would’ve had to go in front of a judge and get a court order. But she said it was a big process and a lot of tears, she just got lucky!

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Really? My understanding was that for marriage (I guess traditional name change), you don't have to change your birth certificate, that makes sense to me. But I'm concerned that someone will force me to change my birth certificate because it is considered a true name change if I add a middle name, so I'd have to update. I don't want to update, really this is for marriage so I'm hoping I can skip this part. Unclear though, I need more guidance lol.

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Ohhhh that is extremely lucky! I need friends in government offices lol. I'm glad it worked out for her though, I need some of that positivity when I start the process! Thank you for the insight

I’m doing first name middle name maiden name FH last name. No hyphen for me because there’s just something about hyphens I hate. I feel this way my names are kinda interchangeable. I started a business over a year ago and my name is apart of my business name. I love my name and I’m not a big fan of his, It’s long and often mispronounced. I originally never wanted to change my name but I know it would hurt my FH if I didn’t. I couldn’t get rid of my middle name because it has special meaning. I did decide our first daughter will use my last name as a her middle name.

View Quoted Comment I get it. I hope you can find the answers that you need and the process won’t be too hard!