Emily
Just Said Yes May 2020

My Wedding Day Without My Father

Emily, on September 21, 2019 at 3:09 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7
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I’m currently in the midst of planning my wedding that is 8 months away. There has been plenty of excitement for this special day but also a lot of heartache. 7 years ago when I was only 17 my dad was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. It’s been extremely difficult and trying getting through life without him. Now that my wedding day is quickly approaching, I find myself even more consumed with sadness knowing he will not be there for such an important moment in my life. I have no doubts about this wedding and can not wait to marry the love of my life but, I am struggling. How am I supposed to do this without my dad?

7 Comments

  • Susan
    Dedicated May 2020
    Susan ·
    Seven years ago, my husband died of a brain aneurysm very suddenly, leaving me and my daughter behind. Since then, I’ve been my daughter’s mother AND father. It’s the most stressful and rewarding thing I’ve done with my life. I’ve taken the full blame for every perceived failing and yet shared the credit for every success with someone who isn’t here. I know the pangs of “why did he have to miss this?” for each and every milestone we’ve conquered.

    Honor or your dad, honey. Do a memory table, leave an empty chair, mention him in the program. And then celebrate the heck out of your mom (or whoever got you to this point), who did it alone without their best friend by their side, and who will give you all the support you need for your beautiful wedding with your new partner.

    Sending love and best wishes.
  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    Love what the PP said. Do all of that and don’t be afraid to shed a few tears because it’s ok. Dance with your mom for the father/daughter dance and celebrate both of them. Ask your mom to walk you down the aisle. I’m sure your dad would be so proud of you on this day so smile beautifully as he watches from
    above when his little girl gets married.
  • Jordan
    Expert September 2019
    Jordan ·
    My dad passed away 8 years ago last month and my fiancé’s mom died 17 years ago tomorrow. We are remembering both of them with a memorial table at the wedding as well as charms with their pictures on them for my bouquet and his boutonnière.
  • Danielle
    Dedicated November 2019
    Danielle ·
    I'm in the same position. I lost my dad 2 years ago. My wedding is Nov 30th and the closer we get the more overwhelmed I feel. We are also doing a memorial table, and I have asked the florist to wrap a picture of my dad and I around the handle of my bouquet. Just remember that although he may not be there in person, he'll still be there
  • Futuremrsv
    Super October 2020
    Futuremrsv ·
    I am very sorry for your loss. I am in the same boat. My dad passed unexpectedly in 2017.
    We started planning our wedding after that and its been tough. I plan on still doing the father daughter dance with either just my brother or having a top men in my life dance with me. My brother will be walking me down the aisle.
    My dads photo will be on the memorial table, and a photo of him on my boquet
    Do what makes you most comfortable, have something on your big day that reminds you of him so that he will be there in spirit
  • Lily
    Just Said Yes June 2020
    Lily ·

    Emily,

    I totally understand. My dad was killed by a drunk driver when I was 3 years old. Getting through ay life event whether its a father-daughter sock-hop or birthdays or our wedding days, it will always be tough. I am lucky to have my grandfather (my dad's dad) who did a really good job of filling in for my dad after he passed away. My grandfather is going to do all of the father duties on my wedding day. I also have a step-dad who will be my officiant and who I will be doing a father-daughter dance with after my grandpa. We will have a poem for my dad in his memory and we are having a chair reserved for him at the front of the ceremony. We just have to find ways to honor our loved ones and think of how happy they looking down on us on our most special days.

  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·

    So many things and ways you can honor your father for your wedding day. like PPs suggested, photo of him in your bouquet, leaving an empty seat as symbolism that he's there, writing his name or having his picture somewhere else, etc.

    best of luck to you, you can do this, he's there with you.

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