My wedding day was the worst day of my life

Wow ... y’all need to do some marriage counseling BEFORE the honeymoon. That’s too much disappointment to start a marriage on

It sounds like you were both on very different pages about the wedding from the beginning. Unfortunately there’s so redo so I’d either cancel the honeymoon and do some counseling like the PP stated or go on the honeymoon and try to reconcile on your own a bit and then do some counseling when you get back.

So sorry this is happening to you. But to be honest, from what you’ve said, it seems like your husband didn’t really want to get married in the first place. As others have said, counseling and canceling the honeymoon is probably the best thing to do. Good luck!

All I can say is wow. I am so so sorry to hear this. I mean did he ever explain what happened and why things landed the way they did? I would t want to go either. I could look over so much of that and probably even laugh it off but the vows and love letter...no, I would be crushed in that. Especially since my FH doesn’t talk like that and I’m expecting him to finally give me what I want at our wedding. I wish I had some magical
words to make you feel better. I can see why you are truly upset. In time you may be able to forgive but he needs to understand your side and really apologize and make it up to you. If he would even have a secret ceremony with just the two of you where he confessed how he feels and a few pics and video would make me feel better.

View Quoted Comment We did! 8 lessons with the pastor that married us, which end 2 months before the wedding!

Oh dear. You need professional counseling, and I mean intensive couple's supplimented with personal one on one.
All I can say is your husband better find a way to make it up to you.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Honestly I dont think I could go on a honeymoon. From what I was reading it sounds like he never wanted to get married if he canceled the wedding 3 times. I think ya'll may need some marriage counseling. I would seriously talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. Good luck!!!

Consider seeking couples therapy.
From what I gathered, you focused on the wedding wayyyy to much and not on the actual MARRIAGE.

Consider seeking couples therapy.
From what I gathered, you focused on the wedding wayyyy too much and not on the actual MARRIAGE.

If this is for real, it seems like your husband messed up, but it seems like you did too. Your morning schedule was a bit crazy and like you set yourself up for failure—getting hair and makeup done in two different places seems a little nuts. And if staged getting ready pics was so important to you, why didn’t you check with the cottage beforehand about a late checkout or booking it for an additional night so you’d have it all day?

Why on earth was there no food at the reception? If you bought all the alcohol, how did they not have the ingredients necessary for the drink you wanted? If they bought the mixers (schnapps is not a mixer) and it was important to have a specific drink and you planned every detail, why wouldn’t you verify they had all the mixers you wanted? The cake issue is super confusing too. The baker seriously gave your sister the wrong cake and she didn’t think to double check you didn’t order a black cake?

I’d think long and hard about whether you wanted a party or a marriage. If you want a marriage, put effort into that, not into obsessing overly a poorly planned event gone wrong.

This is just saddening and almost surreal that this all took place. Just wow... I would lightly suggest some counselling to smooth out any potential kinks. I truly wish you the best.

View Quoted Comment I’m the one that called it off because I said I’d rather no wedding then one I’d regret (not the marriage just the wedding itself)

View Quoted Comment I know! I can’t believe it, I kept waiting for the MTV crew to come out

View Quoted Comment Absolutely agree, he feels awful but I don’t even know where to begin to let him make it up to me

Wow that's definitely a lot. I get how disappointed you are but in all honesty it seems like you just wanted the perfect wedding, no thought to the marriage. You said yourself you've been planning it for 20 years. If your husband isn't an overly emotional guy why would you expect him to give you romantic vows and love letter? Some people just arent good at expressing themselves. You have every right to be upset that he didn't help setting up but some of the other stuff isn't his fault. If you bought all the alcohol the bartender should've had the ingredients to make your drink. The food and cake isn't his fault. Why are you putting it all on him? Some of it is your fault too and some of it is no ones fault. Things just happen. At the end of the day you married your best friend, that should be what matters, everything else should just be a funny, "you can't believe everything that went wrong" story. Things will go wrong in life, be bad and not always sunshine and roses. You have to be able to roll with the punches in order to survive. I really hope you and he can work things out. This isn't the way to start a marriage.

This was the longest post ive ever read. First off I think you wanted a party and not a wedding. You said youve been planning this for years, so clearly you wanted a party. Sounds like your husband isnt very emotional or just didnt want to get married. Im not sure why all the blame is being put on him. How is it possible that you had the wrong cake- didnt you have a contract or have bridesmaid check the cake, no food at reception-how is that even possible??, no green screen, no drinks you wanted and more? Why would your bridesmaid be picking up the cake day of? Didnt you have any pre wedding meetings with your vendors? Either this post is highly exaggerated or you didnt plan well.
At the of the post you said "he ruined MY day". It wasnt just your day it was both of yours. As for not doing anything on your wedding night alot of people dont do anything due to being tired or drunk.

I suggest you seek counseling for yourself because it sounds like are not going to be getting over this. Seek married counseling immediatly.
Maybe your fh was drinking at the bar instead of helping you set up do to stress and you being a bridezilla. Its horrible that you had a horrible day, but jesus it was his wedding to. To even get upset that he didnt dance right even after all the practices...that should have been the moment you both laughed it off and did a silly dance together. Instead of your husband trying to make it up to you, you should drop it and have a honeymoon and start your life together. Dont hold on to the past, thats no way to start a marriage

I am so sorry about your wedding day. I know really nothing can make you feel better at this point. I know it's late since you are already married, but I think for your emotional health you need to step back and take a long look at your relationship and figure out how to fix it. I would immediately enroll in therapy and see if the relationship is worth saving and if you two are compatible.

Wow! Your wedding sounds so much like mine! I know this is an old post but here I am looking for some solace from my own wedding disasters. I'm so sorry you went through that and for all these commenters here criticizing you for wanting a "party not a wedding." A wedding IS a party! It's more than a party! Its a ceremonial party that is a once in a lifetime event! If we are only supposed to focus on the marrying part, that's not a wedding, get off wedding wire, and stand in line at the courthouse with your beau. I think the OP had every right to expect her plans to be carried out, and she clearly did enough planning and preparation (except maybe the cottage not being reserved long enough) The real heartbreaking thing that caused all this trouble is that NO ONE CARED. Even the vendors who were PAID to care didn't care. I know how it feels because so much of this happened to me too. Actually, my wedding was a year ago and I still can't get over it. I scan the websites like this looking for someone who might understand. Even if her husband was not an emotional guy, it's not impossible for him to step up for a wedding. They discussed and agreed about it beforehand. But he just didn't care enough to follow through. All of OP's planning gone to waste just because people thought "meh, this is good enough." Or they weren't really listening because they don't care what you want, and then they expect props for their effort but it's done all wrong.
It broke me to suddenly realize what all my family and the vendors thought I was worth. Not much.
And if that's what they think, maybe they're right?
You feel like crying/screaming but you have to look positive and happy, and then all of your photos make you cringe because you know those smiles are fake.After my wedding I had a mental breakdown and I'm still in counseling and have tried a few medications.I don't know what else to do but if OP sees this, please reply or contact me if you still understand these feelings.

Hey there, I feel for you - SO MUCH! I was searching "my wedding day was the worst day of my life" on Google just now because I was reminiscing about how bad my wedding was, and was curious if anyone else out there had experienced something similar. My wedding was downright awful. In fact, I even have PTSD-like symptoms from it. I get panicky and overwhelmed if anything reminds me of my wedding. Even seeing wedding advertisements makes me start to sweat and cringe. My wedding day ruined my honeymoon and it has affected my marriage - and this is from 2 years ago (we got married May 2018)! If you ever need some advice or someone to vent to, please don't hesitate to reach out (bananaboat 1219 AT aol dot com). I am so sorry for what you went through, and at the same time, it feels so good to know that I am not the only one who has gone through an experience like this. All my love - Ella.

PS: Just so you know my story:

My wedding day turned into a massive joke. My mother-in-law passed out during the ceremony - which had to be put on pause for an hour so the EMT, firetruck, and helicopter could check on her. Everyone started drinking and mingling with me as if we were at a bar before we even finished our ceremony. We lost day light for our post-ceremony photos. The caterer ruined the wedding (the food and cake were not what we ordered and we spent 10's of thousands on food). The catering staff dropped F bombs in front of my elderly guests and one made a sexual advance toward one of my friends. The staff were completely sloppy and unprofessional. It was apparent that everyone felt extremely sorry for me during my entire wedding. To top it off, my husband did not finish his vows on time, so I had to write them for him, which was a complete embarrassment. We went to New Zealand and Fiji for our honeymoon and I cried all day and woke up in cold sweats each night from the embarrassment and disappointment I felt from our wedding. It was a downright awful experience.

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My wedding was in May 2018, and I am still haunted by it!