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Danielle
Master June 2019

My Step Dad Just Left

Danielle, on May 23, 2019 at 11:15 AM

Posted in Family and Relationships 50

Yesterday was my birthday, and I am a little over a month from the wedding. Well, yesterday I also found out that my Step Dad has been having an affair, and left my mom for another woman across the country. He was in her state working, they were childhood friends, he looked her up and they hooked...

Yesterday was my birthday, and I am a little over a month from the wedding. Well, yesterday I also found out that my Step Dad has been having an affair, and left my mom for another woman across the country. He was in her state working, they were childhood friends, he looked her up and they hooked up. He continued his relationship with her after returning home. He's been secretly texting her and sending her flowers. My mom caught him 2 nights ago. He wasn't planning to tell her until after my wedding. But rightfully so, my mom kicked him out and told him he is not welcome to my wedding. I also just found out that he blocked me and my mom on facebook....like really!?! His daughter is one of my bridesmaids, and his entire family RSVP'd yes to the wedding. Not sure how I feel about all that yet. But I cried myself to sleep last night and am crying today. I feel so depressed. He didn't just leave my mom, I feel left too. They were together 18 years. I looked up to him as a "dad" and now he's gone. Cheating on my mom and leaving her just like my real dad did when I was little. Whats worse is I've already bought him all of these sentimental personalized gifts for his birthday, father's day, and the wedding. I'm planning to mail them to him with a letter, since I have no use for them anymore and can't return them. I'm hoping this will give me the closure I need....but we shall see. Anyways, I just wanted to vent and let this all out, thanks for reading. Smiley cry

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50 Comments

  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    Omg I'm so sorry!

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  • Danielle
    Dedicated October 2019
    Danielle ·
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    Oh my. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Take a couple of days and grieve your loss. But then you have to pull yourself up. Do not let his horrible mistake ruin the best day of your life. Be sad and feel how you feel, but only for a little while. Then take back the reigns of your life, and live it to its fullest.

    You can do it. Sending positive thoughts you and your moms way. Hang in there girl Smiley heart

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    You are right and that is my plan. Part of me feels a little guilty thinking about my wedding right now though, but I'm sure my mom wouldn't want me to feel that way.

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  • Danielle
    Dedicated October 2019
    Danielle ·
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    Don't feel guilty. This is a happy time (even though it seems hard to be happy). It could be that your wedding and all of the planning is the light at the end of this dark tunnel. It could help bring you and your mom out of the sadness. I have a sense that you are a strong women and you probably get it from you mom. So come together and work together to get through it. 🙂

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  • thisismrsb
    Expert June 2019
    thisismrsb ·
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    OMG, this is so disgusting and my heart is breaking for you! I am so sorry to be seeing this post and for what you are going through!

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  • thisismrsb
    Expert June 2019
    thisismrsb ·
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    Sometimes it helps to take a few days off. Go to the beach for a day or take a weekend vacation somewhere. I'm not suggesting that you run away from your problems, just remove yourself from the situation for a few days and then come back with new eyes and a fresh start. Book yourself an appointment with a therapist. They can help you learn to manage your loss during a time that is supposed to be filled with joy. Spend the day with your mom doing something fun that isn't related to the wedding.

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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    I'm so sorry, Danielle. I hope sending the presents gives you the closure you need.

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  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
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    I am so sorry.
    and happy belated birthday.
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  • Mrscolón
    Super September 2019
    Mrscolón ·
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    I am so sorry! I think that it's a good idea to send him anything, including a letter, as a way for closure.

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  • Alycia
    Super July 2021
    Alycia ·
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    Take your time with that letter. Read and rewrite it until it says everything in your heart and mind. Don't hold back. Don't think about his feelings. Don't be polite. Let it all out. Don't send it until it feels complete. Get the closure you need and deserve.

    It's ok to mourn him as if he had passed away. All of your youthful memories of him will make you miss him. That's ok. He's gone all of a sudden with no warning. Just like if he had been in a fatal accident. It's ok to mourn that loss. Let yourself grieve.

    When you are ready, breathe deeply and focus on your wedding. It's your day. Your fresh start in life. Let him stay in your past. He doesn't deserve to take the joy of your wedding day or the future you and your new husband are dreaming of.


    How sad for him. When the excitement of this forbidden relationship wears off he will be left with his own lifelong punishment and regrets.

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