Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Danielle
Master June 2019

My Step Dad Just Left

Danielle, on May 23, 2019 at 11:15 AM

Posted in Family and Relationships 50

Yesterday was my birthday, and I am a little over a month from the wedding. Well, yesterday I also found out that my Step Dad has been having an affair, and left my mom for another woman across the country. He was in her state working, they were childhood friends, he looked her up and they hooked...

Yesterday was my birthday, and I am a little over a month from the wedding. Well, yesterday I also found out that my Step Dad has been having an affair, and left my mom for another woman across the country. He was in her state working, they were childhood friends, he looked her up and they hooked up. He continued his relationship with her after returning home. He's been secretly texting her and sending her flowers. My mom caught him 2 nights ago. He wasn't planning to tell her until after my wedding. But rightfully so, my mom kicked him out and told him he is not welcome to my wedding. I also just found out that he blocked me and my mom on facebook....like really!?! His daughter is one of my bridesmaids, and his entire family RSVP'd yes to the wedding. Not sure how I feel about all that yet. But I cried myself to sleep last night and am crying today. I feel so depressed. He didn't just leave my mom, I feel left too. They were together 18 years. I looked up to him as a "dad" and now he's gone. Cheating on my mom and leaving her just like my real dad did when I was little. Whats worse is I've already bought him all of these sentimental personalized gifts for his birthday, father's day, and the wedding. I'm planning to mail them to him with a letter, since I have no use for them anymore and can't return them. I'm hoping this will give me the closure I need....but we shall see. Anyways, I just wanted to vent and let this all out, thanks for reading. Smiley cry

Show all

50 Comments

  • Alisha
    VIP April 2021
    Alisha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I’m so sorry that you and your family. Take one day at a time and I am praying for you.
    • Reply
  • C
    Devoted June 2019
    C R ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Oh my....Danielle....I'm so sorry, that just stinks out loud for so many people. I'm really sorry.

    We are 16 days out from our wedding and I, too, just received horrific, unexpected news about a week ago. Still processing, but have decided I am NOT letting it derail this otherwise lovely time in our lives. In my case, it's a thing, not a person; in your case, where it is a person, maybe you can just tell yourself that you will NOT allow him to own your day - he deserves no room in your head (or your Mom's) right now. Reserve that space for the fabulous people in your life!
    Wishing you the best.
    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you!

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you...I hope you are able to overcome your thing too.

    • Reply
  • Tonia
    Expert October 2019
    Tonia ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you have a strong bond with your mom and you are being supportive and there for her. Hopefully, you will not allow this to effect your wedding day. Your step dad has way more to lose than you do. You are gaining so much and I'm sure he's going to lose the respect of his family. Stay strong and keep moving forward. This too shall pass.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you.

    • Reply
  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Oh gosh, i am sorry this is happening to you, and especially your mom!...and so close to your wedding.
    I feel mailing the items and letter to him may give you that closure.
    Do you think his family will still show up? Do you still want them there? I hope everything works out
    • Reply
  • Keyona
    Devoted August 2020
    Keyona ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Oh wow so sorry to read this is happening to you. I think the letter will give you some closure and I hope the family still plans to be apart of your big day.

    Sending Thoughts and Positive Vibes Your Way

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Super July 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Oh my goodness I’m so sorry this happened to your family. 😞
    I truly believe it’s better that you guys found out now so that he didn’t attend your wedding.

    Does his side side of the family attending your wedding know he’s a cheater yet?
    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    This is very hard to deal with, you know someone has to open our eyes to seeing things in a different way. If his family ever knew about it and don't support his actions, should they be cut out? I am just wondering if these people that have been in your life for the last 18 years will bring more pain than support? Afterall, they were not the ones that caused pain to your mom and you. Before you decide to cut them off take some time and heal, wishing you the best and your mama too!

    • Reply
  • Tiffanie
    Beginner September 2019
    Tiffanie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Thinking of you!! I had a falling out with my real father and both my step dad that raised me and my mom have passed so I have to find someone to walk me down the aisle. I really hope that everything works out for you. And remember its YOUR day don't let anyone bring you down or ruin it.

    • Reply
  • Paula
    Super September 2019
    Paula ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Wow, I'm so so sorry you and your family are dealing with this right now! It's such an unbelievably sad situation, your poor mom. I don't have any advice, all I can do is send thoughts and prayers in navigating through this trying time.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I'm not sure. I feel like his daughter will still want to be a bridesmaid, but I haven't talked to her yet. And I honestly don't know if the rest of his family will still come or not (which makes planned seating really difficult). It's still so fresh, so I haven't decided yet if I really want them to still come or not. Part of me wants them all there, because it's not like they are the ones that did this....but then again I feel like it may be awkward having them there. Lots to think about for sure.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you!

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes! I haven't talked to any of them yet, but my mom said they told him they wish him happiness. Understandably (to an extent) they are "on his side," but you would think they'd show some sort of upset feelings about the situation.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I could never cut them off or ask them not to come. I will leave that up to them to decide if they still want to or not. It'll be up to me to figure out if their presence will bring pain or be okay. Only time will tell though.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you! If you can't find someone to walk you down the aisle, remember there is no shame and walking yourself. Also, close women (not just men) can walk you too: sister, aunt, grandmother, friend, etc.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you!

    • Reply
  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you!

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics