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Just Said Yes May 2017

My soon to be husband is now a groomsman

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CowgirlbrideinMay, on January 4, 2017 at 5:47 PM

So we got engaged in May and will be getting married in May 2017 well...fast forward to this September and one of his good friends proposed to his girlfriend and asked my fiancé to be a groomsman. They won't be getting married till October of 2017. So here is the problem and I would like advice on it. His friends best man wants them to go on a 3-4 day bachelor party in Nashville downtown in early September and wants every groomsman to pay $500 each originally, both my fiancé and I have never heard of this as he said this would only cover boarding not including gas or drinks or food. My fiancé doesn't want to be "that guy" but is this normal? And I thought anything that was to do with the bachelor party that the best man paid for? Or am I wrong? My fiancé really doesn't have that kind of money as we are saving up for our own wedding and he expressed this to the best man and they have decided to go down a little on the price but not much...help?

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25 Comments

Devoted April 2018
2018 · on January 4, 2017 at 10:37 PM
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500 is not normal at all. Even for a bachelorette party for a weekend I've paid 80 for hotel and then food and everything else when I got there so maybe 150 but 500 is uncalled for
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Super November 2017
Cara · on January 5, 2017 at 10:50 AM
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I've never heard of MOH or best man paying for the entire trip...
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Just Said Yes May 2017
CowgirlbrideinMay · on January 7, 2017 at 6:16 PM
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Thanks for the input and just to clarify this is not our wedding, it's our friends wedding that my FH aid apart of and I agree with some of you about it being a little to expensive for a bachelor party and I do not see a point in 3-5 day bachelor parties. We are not having that extravagant of a bachelor party or bachelorette party and I do think $500 per groomsman for only 2-3 days is a little much especially since that will only cover lodging and I'm a travel agent and offered to get a cheaper rate and the BM declined and he is just taking the money in cash payments. I had the feeling that he might be lining his pockets but I'm not sure and don't want to make that assumption. But I think my FH Is going to sit this one out. Thank you all for your input.
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Master March 2018
Melissa · on January 7, 2017 at 6:21 PM
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The best man is not financially responsible. Anyone that goes covers themselves and usually splits the grooms costs between them. He is not required to do this. Fh was a Gm in his best friends wedding and did not attend the Bach. No one was upset. We had just gotten back from vacation the week before and had zero money on top of having to pick up his suit and pay for a gift.
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VIP November 2017
Nicole · on January 7, 2017 at 6:29 PM
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He doesn't have to participate if it's too much time or money. The best man should have check with everyone before planning to see what budget and time frame would work. Groomsmen do not have to participate in the bachelor party. It should not determine whether or not he is in the wedding.
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