My punishment for trying to be a "chill, relaxed bride"

Oh it sounds like they tried to match the wedding party....this doesn't surprise me since it is so freakin common!

Is it bad I really want to see the pictures?

If her dress is true white and yours isn't (ivory, champagne, white, diamond, or any other variation) maybe you could get away with asking her to wear something other than white since it might make your dress look dingy or not as white...

But the other one, you will just have to suck it up. Most of the time mothers aren't in pictures with the bridal party anyways.

@CrystalQueen2B LOL about the wedding album pictures. My aunt got remarried a couple years ago, and being the relaxed bride she allowed her BM to pick there own dress (just assigned a color-purple) and there own shoes (just assigned a color-silver or pick a dress that doesn't show your shoes). Well the one BM who decides to wear a short dress, decides to wear bone (off white) colored shoes. Not only was it not the silver she asked them to wear, but it was super obvious at the wedding and to top it off the shoes were ugly (everyone was thinking it, I just said it). My aunt had her photographer Photoshop the color of her shoes silver LOL. It was priceless!!!! Looking at the pictures and everyone remembering those horrible shoes and now a different color. And in the photos of all the BM she was always instructed to stand to the back. In my family & friend group, you wear all white to someone else's wedding we will talk about you.

I actually like to know what the BMs are wearing so I can wear the opposite. At this age, we get invited to weddings at least every other month, that last thing I want to be is a wanna-be-BM.

@FFW, sure it was rude of the BM to choose a short dress and a shoe that wasn't in the color asked for the bride, but did these "awful pictures" make the Bride and Groom any less married? I would say No.

It only gives more laughs in the future when looking at the pictures..

As for your future-stepmom, choosing white is one thing, but a Full-length White gown!?! That is just ridiculous and rude!! I do agree that maybe your FMIL just wanted to coordinate with your BM dresses, as its common for the moms to do this... As long as its not exact same dress, I see no problem with your FMIL's decision.

I do agree you can and should tell your dad to tell his fiancé to NOT wear a full-length white gown.

Wow that's not cool. I'm not sure I would be able to not say something that is not okay. My FMIL tryed saying she was going to out shine me and FH and FSIL shut that down quicker then I could make comment.

@jewles322 nothing makes you less married. either you married or you're not (in Texas there is no legal separation either). But anyway, you pay thousands for a photographer. You put thought into your color scheme that includes you BMs. So yeah it matters.

Awful. How does anyone not know that white is for the bride only?!

Maybe subtly mentioned to her like "I wish we could have found something with a little more color in it for you like one of our wedding colors"

I hope she would take that and run with it and maybe get another color dress.

Or at a gathering like bridal shower or engagement party long before the wedding have one of your bridesmaids just drop a line like "oh everyone knows only the bride wears solid white" But like in a group setting where she pretends not to know that this woman has a white dress.

That could make her feel silly and go get a different dress.

These are just a couple suggestions and anyone can say it's a silly game to play but lying and saying that the dresses are pretty is the same kind of game.

We're just trying not to hurt peoples feelings right? Worth a try.

I'm so sorry, Sarah.

@Sarah People are weird!! I had some guests (not even family) ask me what my wedding colors were and if they should dress in the wedding colors. I was like... uhhhh..... completely not necessary lol.

I was totally surprised. I think some people TRY To dress in the wedding colors! I don't know why though

You will still be the star of your wedding day, don't worry! But I totally agree that both are ridiculous. FMIL in white floor length gown, really? I can promise you, you won't be the only one rolling your eyes!

I always ask what the wedding colors are. So that I never try like i'm trying to be part of the wedding.

Pics?

The one similar to the BMs I could probably let go. But the long white gown I'm afraid I would have taken one look at said something along the lines of "Yeah, no, try again." Or flat out laughed in her face and assumed she was kidding. If she pushed wearing it that is literally the one and only place where chill bride would take a little break and bitchy bride would come out. You don't wear white, you don't wear cream, you don't wear anything that could in any light look like white. Period.

Oh you are stronger than me, haha! I would not let this fly. The dress similar to the bridesmaids is pretty much fine, but a floor length white dress? Hell no. Nope. Not today.

What is with FMILs wearing white? It's your sons wedding, not your wedding to your son... The Oedipus shit needs to STAHP!

Who tf wears white a wedding but a bride???

Not sure where the "not wearing white to a wedding" is not known. But it never fails, there is always one that shows up in a floor length white dress. Almost wedding I've attended. Blows my mind every time.