my parents wont pay a cent for my wedding

Not the answer you want I'm sure but....if you can't afford a wedding then don't have one until you can afford it. Or just get married by a JP so you're actually married & not just engaged. There is nothing written anywhere that says parents HAVE to pay for their children's weddings. If you're old enough to set up a household & have 2 kids then you're old enough to pay your own way. I would just get married by a justice of the peace & then save & save & save. Eventually you may have enough $$$ to have a vow renewal & reception of your dreams.

Sorry to tell ya but I agree with monarch. Most of us are paying for our weddings ourselves. Save up, get creative with do it yourself projects, postpost it, but don't expect anyone else to pay for YOUR wedding. It's hard, I know but that's life. Your parents have every right to buy cars or what they want for themselves because they earned their money and their child is now grown and on her own. Thier obligation to pay for you has ended. If anyone chooses to give you a gift of money for the wedding that's great, but you can't expect it because it is not their responsibility. You've come this far in your life I'm sure you'll be able to work this out as well and have a great wedding. And you can be even more proud that you did it yourself! Good Luck!

I agree with the other two posters, if you can't afford it don't get married. you are an adult (you have two kids of your own!) and you shouldn't rely on anyone to help you. sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

I am sure its not what you want to hear but I agree with the previous poster's as well. Noone should ever expect their parents to pay for a wedding or even contribute.

If you cannot afford a wedding now, perhaps put it off until you can. Or what about having a ceremony with just your immediate family and a small gathering afterwards or getting married at the JP.

I think a lot of brides are all in the same boat as you where they cant afford to get amrried and their parents dont want to help or can't help. I have a good friend whom I am doing her wedding flowers when she does get married in march of this year, i tried to convince her to just go to the court house and get married but they want a wedding. I also told her to go get married at the courthouse and then in 5 years renew your vows and have your wedding, this way it will give you time to save up money. She doesnt have a lot of money and her fiance is like yours where hes gona most of the time, so she is planning a wedding in the park probably and a reception over looking the water maybe if thats possible.

My husband and I are in the same boat as you are. My dad simply put it to me that he wasn't going to pay a cent toward my hubby's and my wedding (the man has money too and can afford to send my kid brother to private school) and we know my husband's family doesn't have the money to help us nor does my mom (the life of a struggling Real Estate Agent), so we weren't going to ask either one of them to help us with ours. What my husband and I did since my mom insisted on us getting married since we had a biological child on the way, she told us, set a date, buy your rings, find a justice of the peace and get married (family or no family there) and have a nice dinner just the 2 of us after. That was what we did, besides having to go back to the jeweler to have my hubby's ring resized again. With the budget we were on really that was all we could afford, and one of my co-workers at the time was nice enough to help us pay for our dinner. My mom had told us give ourselves some time to save up

Oops I ran out of room. To finish my last sentence, she told us that later after we could save up that on an anniversary we could do something bigger and that was in our budget and whatever we threw together she would be there and if I needed any help putting together stuff for our bigger wedding (we're doing a vow renewal on our 6 year anniversary) that she would love to help us out. We aren't planning anything crazy like a 4 course sit down dinner, more or less a crawfish boil/bbq, which are much more affordable or a picnic (if you aren't opposed someone told me they did a back yard wedding and had a BBQ as their reception and people still rave about it). Ours isn't going to be traditional at all either, but if you love eachother there are ways to pay for your own wedding and make it what you can afford with your budget and still make it nice. I'm sorry your parents won't help you out with your wedding. That's not right.

I hate to disagree with a lot of the other posts on here, another thing I had a problem with when my husband and I got married and my parents not helping us was my dad paid for my sister's wedding (the entire thing, but splitting the cost with my BIL's family for the Rehearsal Dinner), which doesn't seem right to me to fund one child's wedding over another(that just says favoritism to me), not that my hubby and I have a problem with funding our own wedding and not letting my dad have any input on what we do for our later wedding. Just like BrianaKenzie, I didn't even ask my dad for a penny toward our wedding either and that was what he came out and said he wouldn't pay for it.

If you really want to have a wedding, it can be done, even with very little money! For example, you can have your wedding in many public parks for free (eliminates need to decorate with flowers too!), or take a weekend to go to the beach and get married on the sand. My sister managed to rent an entire winery after hours (after 7pm) for free! (She did have to buy a few cases of wine, but they got a ridiculously good deal on it.) Free/cheap locations are out there if you look around. You can get very cheap dresses from David's (since you have a lot of time - they have periodic sales for $99 on most dresses). You could also do a potluck lunch or dinner, possibly even with a theme to make it cute. Many states will allow a friend to get licensed to perform a marriage, so you can avoid the officiant fee. There are really lots of ways to make a wedding happen with little or no money, and still have it be a classy event! You could have a wine theme, and ask everyone to bring their favorite.

Here is a website that I found helpful: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aj3HQdXbzgaVgCAIN9xP5tfE7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20081001131829AApbkA7

You can find a lot if you just google "cheap wedding" or some variation thereof. Unless you've always dreamed of a huge wedding with an enormous wedding party, you can make it happen! Anther idea might be to set up a registry that allows guests to contribute towards costs in your wedding.

Being in the wedding buis as a weddign dj over the years ive seen them all from the fancy ball rooms to the summer back yards.Have your wedding, plan it, take time and above all else do it for yourselves. Yes it will take some saving but even if its is a lovly day in the park or in a legion hall with all your grandmas and aunts cooking its the thought that matters and you two saying I Do, Not how much the dress was or the flowers or even how much you spent on the dj.Its all in what you plan and why your doing it in the first place. Congrats And good luck to both of you.

I agree with most of the posters. It's not your parents responsibility to pay for your wedding. If the true issue is that you want to be married and that's what's important to you, then just go to the JP and get married. If you just want a party, wait until you can afford it. What's more important---being married or spending money on a wedding???

Also if you really want a big wedding on a small budget, to help you limit how many guests you invite, don't allow your single guests to invite a guest. I've seen a bunch of other people post that one here. That was another problem I found my hubby and I running into given his dad's side of the family is big (at least 300 people) and so is mine, however you can eliminate also inviting extended family too. Only invite the people who matter the most to you, and if you're thinking of inviting people from work, only invited those whom you're close with or your boss. The number of guests helps you figure out how much you'll be paying. Also look into culinary schools, sometimes you can hire interns to cook for you without needing to pay for a caterer and do some of the work of cooking yourself with family and friends. That will help you save a huge chunk of money too.

I thought of another suggestion for you, as one of my friends did this for his Wedding, if you live near a beach, have a beach wedding, there were no chairs for his guests to sit, but then again I think he had 10 or less people there and as his and his bride's reception they took their guests out to breakfast and bought a cake from the grocery store. You could even have a brunch at your home after your ceremony and have your ceremony in your back yard. Breakfast is the least expensive meal of the day. You can save a fortune on alcohol if you maybe limited the alcohol to a Mimosa or Champagne toast and served non-alcoholic beverages or went with sparkling cider (which Sams sells for $6.oo for a 3 or 4 pack which are usually $4 a bottle each in the grocery store). Brunchs are easy to throw together. My hubby and I for our vow renewal are going to buy our cake for the 2 of us as something a bakery in a grocery store already has predecorated that we can put our cake topper on

Sorry ran out of room again, but our cake will be chocolate and vanilla to suit both of our tastes and serve cupcakes to the guests in those flavors. Grocery store prebaked/decorated cakes could cost you $7.00 tops and serving either sheetcake or cupcakes that the stores already make won't cost you much either, much less than a 2,3,or 4 tiered wedding cake. My hubby and I spent $1000 roughly on our wedding (the most expensive part being our rings) and that's including $100 we spent at the Cheesecake Factory enjoying our first night as Husband and Wife, and I spent $40 on a dress I have and still wear, and plan to wear as a second Wedding Dress at my Hubby's Vow Renewal. If you do decide to get married just the two of you, you can include your children and take them out to dinner with you or prepare a candlelit dinner at home and arrange for a babysitter and enjoy the night together. There's nothing wrong with having a bigger wedding later.

The link that was posted, if you can afford to hire students from colleges as your Photographer or Videotogropher, they'll only charge you for supplies and maybe a couple hundred dollars for their time and you own all the rights to pictures and videos, just make sure you let them include your pictures in their portfolios for future jobs. If not if you know someone who owns a video camera and is a talented photographer, ask them if they'll help you with your wedding pictures and video. If your computer has a CD/DVD burner, you can buy the CDs and DVDs and make copies for those who want one, or if anyone else brings their cameras, ask them to be kind and share their pictures with you. I was doing that for my sister with any pictures family and friends took from hers, making CDs for her as anyone else who wanted.

While I was in the grocery store tonight I was thinking of you, if you do have bouquets and use flowers in your wedding, check out your local grocery store's florist, sometimes they can give you some great deals for your wedding flowers. I nearly considered doing this myself. Flea Markets are also great places to look for inexpensive dresses and bridesmaid dresses. Someone suggested that to me and if you have your bridesmaid's measurements, they sell affordable bridesmaid dresses there too.

Don't get discouraged! I have seen brides ask vendors to sponsor their wedding for free advertisment. This will work for startup business who are looking to get their name into the industry or you can find vendors that are willing to work within your budget. We have a special promotion just for Budget Brides. If interested, contact me for additional information.

Good luck!

Annette

Hey! Love and Commitment is the key! Have a ceremony and reception is just formality! Most parent do not pay anymore nowdays! They chip in sometimes! Going to the JP is not a bad idea or have something small in the church pastor study! Be creative........... Go to Vegas and get married in the Elvis Chapel of Love!

If you go to Vegas there are some places that will marry you for $50. I thought of a couple more ideas for you too. If you get married by a JP (most are less costly if you get married in their office, they will charge you more to come to your location, which is what my hubby and I found out about ours after she married us in her office) and later you can have a ceremony the way you want it and ask a family member or friend to be your officiate. The perk to doing that since you'll already be legally married and have your marriage certificate is after you won't need to have your friend or family member get a just a day of license to marry you. You won't even need to have your Wedding Certificate with you, which the JP who offered to come and marry us again infront of family and friends for $250 as opposed to the $50 we paid just in her office, that other $250 we can save and pay for our food with at the reception. If you think of how expensive weddings are, you can use the money for your