My mother just got engaged! .... & wants to have her wedding 2 weeks before mine!!... RANT! LONG POST

Like, My wedding is August 1st, my friend's is the week after, and I have another wedding the week after that! I am drained frm money in the first place, and basically crying every day from how stressed I'm getting from doing this WHOLE thing alone. (The FH tries to help.. but you can imagine how that goes lol) I'm just.... I don't know. I'm not being all bridezilla am I? Like, am I actually crazy for being hurt by this? Well I'm a little more than hurt, I'm pissed. I've been engaged (and have had it announced) since September... The date has been set since September... It just doesnt feel fair how eager she is to tell me to "suck it up". Like if my mothe ractually has her wedding a few weeks before mine I won't even be able to attend. My wedding is a 3 hour drive for me, as are the other 2 I have to attend after!

I have to BUS the whole way there! 8 hour bus ride there and back to go to a wedding!?!? I already promised the other 2, but 3 is actually too much! I'm just.. I want to scream LOL!

Not being a bridezilla at all. I would be like wtf. She should be more considerate. She is not a random friend or distant family member, but your mom!

I don't blame you for being hurt. It is odd for when she is timing her wedding. I would feel too burned out to go to her wedding too. If she follows through with it though, I guess just support her as much as you can.

She's being inconsiderate. But keep in mind she doesn't owe you any help, physically or financially.

Don't get too upset....she's been dating him a month, and he's from another country. It'll probably fizzle before it even gains steam.

I would be hurt too - She has an unlimited budget for hers but she knows you're struggling while planning yours?? Yeah, not cool! I would put my plans on hold for my child....Before anything I'm a Mother first so that means my daughter's happiness will always come before mine. Sorry you are going through this, but I would voice how I feel. Good luck!!

I too would be upset. I do, however, wonder if you need to scale things back. If you are so stressed about your wedding that you are crying everyday something has to give. That is horrible for you and your FH.

I'm sorry, I would be pissed and hurt too. That is just wrong.

@sunshinejenn she's not a wedding person, which I'm fine with, what I'm upset about the "helping" part, is shes been making promises all on her own about helping me find florists, and what not, and not following through! i never expect other people to pay for my wedding lol. that's not how my family works anywho. but it's just the promises that don't get acted on.. ever..

@D&D100315 the big stresser is that our wedding is 3 horus away in our hometown BECAUSE of our parents.. And we have no car! We're planning a whole thing without even being able to go there until the month of! Unfortunately there's no changing that! Luckily, my MoH has noticed me dorwning lol (I never really asked anyone to do things.. I'm stubborn!) and has started helping, but that is only one person.. it's super nice and helpful, but anyone planning knows it takes more than jst yourself and your MoH! Also, I am currently going through a stage of depression and figuring out new therapies and what not. It's a stressful winter! lol

I would also be upset. That seems really odd. Also a major red flag for me would be that she's only known the guy for a month? I would be a little concerned there... I mean like you said, sometimes people just know quickly, I have a friend who got engaged soon after meeting her boyfriend and they are great together. So it's not my place to judge obviously but I would just want to make sure that this 1-month relationship was the real thing and that your mom isn't being taken advantage of or being misled, etc.

But about the actual wedding being right before yours and the unlimited budget and etc, yeeeahhh that would bother me A LOT.

Is it harsh to tell you that your title made me laugh a little? It just seems like that kind of story you'd only read on Wedding Wire! Ha, it's too crazy! What kind of mother would do that to her daughter? Definitely not cool. Yeah, I'd try to see if this one-month long relationship is the real deal, it does seem pretty fast.

You are not in the wrong AT ALL. Knowing someone a month is a joke. You are still in that phase where you are on your best behavior so you don't truly know one another. Yes, you think it could be the one and you feel strongly for them, but deep down you can't say you will marry someone after 1 month. Especially when they live across country. And WHY does it have to happen by July? Why can't she wait until at least a month after yours?! I feel for you. That's horrific. Don't react to her at all. Everyone will see how terrible she is being from her actions alone. No one will be genuinely on her side. If they are, you shouldn't have those people in your life. Good luck and I'm sorry :/

I would be hurt, upset, and pissed all in one. That is very inconsiderate of her. Sorry your going through this.

Ridiculous.

My sister announced she was pregnant about the same time I announced our date. She said she was scared to tell me because she wanted me to know she wasn't trying to take anything away from my wedding. I thought it was sweet, but crazy at the same time. I would have never been mad. After a few weeks her and I started casual talking about whether or not her and her boyfriend would get married. I was honest with her. I told her I would be beyond excited for her, but let's plan it so we both get our own special time. We decided if he does propose(hasn't happened yet) we would keep a 3 month gap between weddings. We were worried that if our weddings are too close together we each won't get our moment in the spotlight because people will either be talking about the next wedding coming up or last wedding a few weeks ago. Maybe you can try approaching it that way. Make her wedding such an amazing event that she doesn't want to share a month or season.

I would be upset too! One huge red flag for me is that this man lives in Texas, they've been together a month and are now getting married? How does she even KNOW him after a month if they have LD relationship? That's scary and suspicious.

I'd be livid! I hate to say this, but i think you need to distance yourself from your mom. This may help with your stress and emotional level. It's hard but can be done.

Having your wedding 3hrs away when you don't own a vehicle is scary to me. Make sure you accommodate your needs on your wedding day, not everyone else. It's YOUR wedding.

My mom has done a few things in the past to upset me (no one can get me angry like my mom can, lol) but i don't think she would ever pull a stunt like that.

I would be very upset. You have every right to feel every thing you are feeling. I agree Precious. Try to talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. That time should be about you not her, and as your mother she should know and understand that. I get a short engagement but after only one month I can't see how that would pan out but hey you never know. If shes dead set on this guy and marrying him she should want her own time, not shadow over your wedding or should she want your wedding shadowing over hers.

I would tell her how you feel and ask her to do it at a later time. If she backlashes over that well it's not like she's following through and helping you.

Good luck to you I couldn't imagine.

Yea i would be upset, i dont think you are being a bridezilla at all

Your mother should hang her head in shame. I feel for you.

I would be upset too! If I were you, I would just focus on YOUR wedding! You've pretty much done everything without her help, so continue doing it that way. If you can't attend her wedding, too bad! Really, too bad, this is YOUR time and you should not stress over her or her wedding tbh. Just continue with your plans and focus on your wedding. Its your and your FH's day and you shouldn't let anyone or anything affect that.