My mom is so hurtful

I'm so sorry that your mother is putting you through this...hopefully she can come to her senses and be there for you on your special day.

So sorry sweetie! Everyone has given you great advice, maybe sleep on it a day or two and think about a conversation you want to have with her.

My mother was much like yours. Manipulative. Jealous of attention. I could go on. She passed away a few years ago, so it's not a current source of drama in my wedding life... But I could tell you some stories. She didn't attend either of my two oldest sisters weddings. Be prepared mentally for her to not attend. She wants that attention. And do not engage in her attention seeking behavior. This reflects poorly on her, not you.

Hang in there. Look up "how to handle a narcissist". They liiiiiive on the attention this stuff brings. So the best thing to do is ignore the behavior, and act like you don't care. It'll kill her that she's not getting attention

KND16 I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I'm really trying to avoid a hostile relationship with her. I could see how it would be easy to not care about her opinions, that would certainly be the safest route for your heart.

I really do want a good relationship with her though. I mean at the end of the day she still is my mother, I'm not trying to do anything to permanently damage our relationship although I feel like she's kind of doing that right now.

Thankfully my sister who got married in December just called me to find out what's going on. She was very understanding and got pretty mad at my mom, she said she was going to call my dad and get things fixed. My dad is more reasonable. It means so much to me that's she's defending me but she never called back and I haven't heard from my dad either so I'm guessing they got in a fight about it and she doesn't want to upset me more.

@mikey & Liz thanks! I love that! So cute!

I totally understand where you are coming from. I've only been engaged for three weeks and already my mum has told me not to speak to her (after I was on the phone to her where i sat tight lipped and didn't say anything to start a fight, whilst i was crying my eyes out with my partner holding my hand). Her reason for not wanting to talk to me? SHE doesn't like our location for a venue. We have only DISCUSSED venue locations and want and already she has been the queen of drama. This is only the very beginning of our wedding planning and she i feel like she has robbed me of this experience. I spent five days crying after the hurtful things she said - as newly enaged I always hoped this time was something i could share with my family. Instead I have been left broken hearted. I'm so hurt by her actions, I want her to be involved and support me like my friends mum's, instead mine says deeply hurtful things to me and tell me not to speak to her.

Maybe I'm used to seeking her approval too much? Ive always felt like whatever i achieved it was never enough. She is a manipuative person and has taken away experiences from me in the past (didn't rock up to my 21st family birthday, made me late for my university grad). I don't want my wedding to be ruined, or myself feeling obliged to do what she wants so she doesn't ruin it for me. Im 26 - maybe its time I left the fractured relationship we have? Or maybe i should try to save it one last time? I'm not sure what I need to do.