My mom is getting married before me after I had my date set

She deserves to be happy. She waited until you were done finding your dress to focus on herself. You had your moment, and now she can have hers.

You can use this as a bonding experience with your mother, or as an excuse to get upset. One route is obviously the better route.

You want and expect her support, and she wants and expects yours. You'll have your day, she'll have hers.

Slap a smile on your face and be the one with grace and class. At least she has good enough sense to plan hers MONTHS before yours. My sister had a 3 month engagement to get hers in 5 months before me when I had been engaged for a year and half at that point.

Each wedding is special. By the time you get married in October, her June wedding will be old news. Just grin and bear it.

You only get one day and thats your wedding day. You and your mom should have a nice bonding experience, but keep some ideas for yourself. Its a compliment she likes your ideas and taste.

I can definitely see why you'd be upset. Since it's your mom, just talk to her. Tell her how it makes you feel and see if there is a compromise that can be made.

I can see being upset since it's your mom, but things like this happen sometimes. You can't really get upset with her for getting married before you. Maybe she feels since you've already been married to him before, that it isn't a big deal. I would just talk to her, let her know how you feel and see what she says.

I would talk to her and that there things that you want to only at your wedding or you could make new traditions. You can use her's as a practice run on yours and tweak things that are problems. But remember that the end goal is for both of you to be happy.

Maybe confront her on the fact you don't want your weddings to be identical. I'd be upset if someone who was having all the same people at their wedding did the exact same thing as me.

that said, regardless of the fact this is both your second marriage (cause wedding or no wedding you have been married before, to the same guy no-less) You can't be mad cause she's getting married (wether you knew she was or not) before you

I think it is is a little odd. It sounds like she's rushing into a marriage with someone she doesn't know very well. I can undersatnd if you are concerned about your mom. But don't be jealous of the wedding. Your big day will be special to you and to her. I wanted my mom to be my MOH at first cause I didn't know who to pick but she said NO. She was too excited about the role of being the Mother of the bride.

Also, My mom and her sister got married exactly a month apart. My aunt is younger and she had been dating her FH since she was 13. She was planning this huge catholic wedding for over a year. My mom and my dad met out of highschool. Moved in together, bought a house and said, "Let's get married" and it just so happened that it was 1 month before her little sister's big-year-long-planned wedding.

Turns out, My aunt and her husband got divorced not too long after getting married and my parents have been married going on 30 yrs.

doesn't matter WHEN you get married sometimes.

I agree with Ransom. Be happy for it. Planning your weddings together may be a great bonding experince with your mom.

Yea, talk to her about this- express your concern on how you didnt even know she was engaged and make sure its what she wants and tell her that the ideas you have told her for your wedding should be in your wedding. Let her have a couple things because it will still be unique weddings (assuming she isnt doing same location and everything else) and a couple similiarities wont be remembered.

It's not that big of a deal. Whether she had a big wedding or not doesn't matter and that was 25 years ago, you got married as well and just because yours wasnt big doesn't mean yours has priority over hers.

I'd say suck it up and be happy for her, you guys may get a lot of bonding out of this.

Thanks ladies all good answers. I have calmed down since the shock of it all. I dont think I am mad at the getting married part I think it was the timing she told me, I was literally paying for my dress when she blurted it out. I had no idea! She also said that she wanted to pay for my dress but now I reminded her that she needs to get her wedding dress and a mothers dress, something she could have kept to herself. It wasnt planned that she would pay for it, but she didnt have to say she was then back out. I was more upset at the fact that I just found my dress and minutes later she took that day and turned it into about her. My bridesmaids said that it may be better to shop with them and leave my mom at home and just help her with her wedding. I dont want to hurt her feelings but I may have to leave some details to myself. All my ideas she wants and since the wedding is before mine its going to look like I stole them and feel tacky that were having the same theme.