My MOH isn't attending my bachelorette party!

Even if I lived 10 minutes away from my friend, I would be kind of annoyed at having to give up 3 weekends in a month for her. Not to mention paying for 1) a shower gift, 2) Bach party, and 3) wedding gift? That's a paycheck right there! Does she have pets she needs to get taken care of? Plus, won't YOU be exhausted at having all these events so close together? Personally, I would space things out.

Your expectations are way too high. Firstly, these parties are *optional*. Bridesmaids and MOH do not have to attend anything except the wedding. Secondly, that amount of driving for three weekends in one month is a LOT. I am surprised that you are not more understanding of how much of a hardship that would be for her. You are wrong to be upset with her.

I think I have to side with your MOH on this, unless she chose the dates herself and is now backing out.

I am a matron-of-honor for my cousins wedding. Next weekend is her engagement party in Fort Lauderdale, Florida (I live in Texas) and I will not be there. I feel sad that I will not be there, especially since all of the grooms family and all of their bridal party will be attending but I couldn't afford a plane ticket and next weekend is the weekend before my son starts school so even if I could afford a plane ticket right now, I am a mom and my son comes first. As her matron-of-honor, the events that I am scheduling (bridal shower & bachelorette) will be on the same weekend. She will fly into Texas, which is where she is from, and we will make a weekend out of it. I am sad that I am missing her wedding but I honestly do not feel like I am not doing "my job". It is expensive being in a bridal party, especially if the wedding is out of the country and the bride lives in another state. On one hand, when someone says yes, they are supposed to realize that things can and will get costly but on the other hand, our world continues on and we do have our own lives that we have to maintain.

OP hasn't replied yet. I'm assuming she was a troll.

Definitely siding with the MOH. That's too much.

Also siding with MOH. That would be over $200 a trip in fuel in my vehicle. You are being way too demanding asking her to give up 3 full weekends in one month for your wedding. I wouldn't expect anyone even if they lived in the same town to give up 3 weekends in a month let alone drive a 10 hr round trip.

Also siding with MOH. That would be over $200 a trip in fuel in my vehicle. You are being way too demanding asking her to give up 3 full weekends in one month for your wedding. I wouldn't expect anyone even if they lived in the same town to give up 3 weekends in a month let alone drive a 10 hr round trip.

Total troll... haha!

I live 2 hours from my hometown. Anyone who asks me to be in their wedding party will already know that, and I will make it clear that if things aren't clustered into one weekend (tastings, meetings, showers, parties, etc.) then I will most likely not be able to ATTEND everything. I gave up maybe 1 weekend a month to my hometown to visit vendors, do tastings, shop/do a fitting for me gown, etc.

That was it. We also scheduled the bridal shower during one month.. and the Bach Party for the next month (2 weeks before the wedding).

That was enough driving for me as the bride, and I had one bridesmaid who was driving an hour or so both ways to come to those two events plus the wedding rehearsal/wedding.

People, you know your wedding parties situations BEFORE making them a part of the wedding, so don't expect their lives to be uprooted, and expect them to do THIS kind of travel for all of the pre-wedding events.

She is not required to attend ANY pre-wedding events so no, she's not wrong. One of my MOHes did not attend mine. I missed her, but had a great time anyway. She only needs to show up for the wedding.

Too much for my brain to process on a Monday morning. Get a life

This troll got smart - she privatized her name so that no one can flag her name.

Hey Erica! Is it true that Tx is running out of water? My dad made it.a point to tell me this when I was visiting him yesterday.. He knows.I want to move there. But I think it was.just an evil ploy so I don't move.so.far.away with his grandbaby lol

The MOH is only required to go to the wedding. If you make her FEEL like she is required to go to everything, you're going to have one spiteful MOH. I was the MOH in a wedding last year. The bride (who was also my BFF, basically) had no less than 4 showers and one Jack and Jill and I had to go to all of them. By the time the wedding was over, I was so SO done with everything.

The MOH for my wedding isn't going to anything I'm having because she lives 15 hours away. You'll live, I promise.

That is a lot of driving for her. She has a perfectly valid reason for not being able to come.

Two of my bridesmaids live about 3 hours away and I told them not to worry about making it to the shower and bachelorette parties. One is coming to both but the other said she could only make it to the shower. She'll be missed but I'm not upset about it.

Alright 'julie' I think you need to cool your jets, either move one of the parties to the same weekend or accept that she's not going to make it

SO MUCH POPCORN! :-D

Ok can someone remind me what's the point of these trolly posts?! Blah...

I agree with your MOH- that's a lot. We're doing my bridal shower as a Saturday morning brunch and then bachelorette party that evening specifically so my friends don't have to travel again in a short period of time. You asked her to be MOH knowing she lives five hours away- you have to adjust, sorry.

Edit: Yeah, the OP is a troll. I no longer care.

My MOH lives in Phoenix and I'm in Delaware...there is no way I am expecting her to attend my bachelorette party...(if she can make it...GREAT...if not, I am not going to be mad because she is traveling to my wedding)...whew! I don't think you should be upset with her...that is a lot to ask of her in one month...its YOUR wedding...not hers...just saying...try to be calm and think about what you are asking her to do.

Mine can't come either because she lives 2.5 hours away and already came out for my shower this weekend and her husband can't take another weekend off work to watch the kids. I don't mind. I think 3 parties is A LOT to ask of anyone. A lot of my friends are only attending either the shower or the stagette.

My MOH lives in GA and I'm in AZ and AZ is where the wedding will be. I haven't seen her in person since sometime in 2013 (before I got engaged - she hasn't met FH yet either) and she's coming out a couple days before the wedding. She won't be here for my shower but I scheduled my bachelorette party for the weekend she gets in town so she can be there for it. I'm not asking her to come to AZ for anything except for the wedding. She is super supportive of me and pretty much always available whenever I need her advice or opinion. I split her "in town" duties with a second MOH, and she's doing the duties that she can do OOT or the week of/day after, when she'll be in town. She is fantastic and I love her!