My Husband's Boogers (Gross, right?)

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Well, unfortunately I found another booger this morning. I cleaned it up with a tissue and shot my husband a picture, as a reminder that he needed to clean up. I assumed he would respond “Gross. I’m sorry.” …or something along those lines. Here’s what happened instead:

7:28 am “I don’t know what to tell you. I looked! But, the shower is still wet when I get out. It’s not like I’m not trying.”

7:29 am “I will never take a shower in our shower again.”

7:30 am “I actually knew that you were going to send me something like this today. And I haven’t taken a shower there all week*. But, since I took one today, I knew it was coming.”

*(I think he’s been showering at the gym.)

I argued that I shouldn’t have to clean up after him, and that asking him to clean up OR use a tissue was a reasonable request, and that saying he wasn’t going to use our shower was just blowing things out of proportion. He responded that he feels I’m shaming him like a five year old who hasn’t learned his lesson. He says this isn’t important and that I should move on.

I agree that this is a super small issue in our relationship, but I feel that my request is pretty minimal. Am I crazy?

I'm actually repulsed by this. And I don't understand how this works. How do you blow your nose in the shower? Just shoot snot everywhere? I'm flabbergasted that an adult does that...

I would think cleaning up after them is way easier than going out of your way to shower at the gym...

To be fair I often blow my nose in the shower (the steam loosens up my sinuses!) but I don't leave snot or boogers everywhere...

I had to borrow this one @Jen lol

I think the issue is how many boogs he is having every day. Maybe get him some type of allergy medicine?

Jersey Jen, I hear you, although I don't mind when I don't step in it. I think the (even more disgusting) term for this would be a "snot rocket".

I understand how you blow your nose in the shower. My dad and brother did it my whole life. But in all the years I shared a tub with them, this has never happened to me.

I also understand that adults don't want to be nagged like children. But children get nagged because they don't fix their behavior at the first request. If he doesn't want to be nagged, he should have fixed it.

I have no advice. But if he can't keep boogers off the shower floor, he needs to blow his nose elsewhere.

That is disgusting. Why can't he just blow his nose when he's not in the shower, with a tissue, like a normal person?

I'd be beyond pissed if I were stepping in my FH's boogers.

Boogers!! Yuck! Is there any ways he could blow his nose in some tissue before/after his shower? That way you aren't stepping in it and he can throw his tissues away?

I can't wait to tell FH about this. He thinks it's insane that I pee in the shower.

Why doesn't he just use a tissue. let the steam loosen it up while you do bathroom stuff and before you get in the shower, blow your nose. This would drive me nuts! FH tends to leave toothpicks everywhere (even in the bathroom) but this is worse!

ETA: I just remembered that my own boogers make me gag sometimes. Like feeling one on my nostril or something. I think I'd lose my mind if I squished someone else's in my toes.

Um I'm sorry but I would be in your shoes in this situation. I think that is pretty gross honestly. I wouldn't want my FH (or anyone really) even blowing his nose in anything but a tissue let alone a place where I could step on it. No thank you!

That is disgusting. I know what dealing with disgusting partner habits is like. Maybe ask him to blow his nose before the shower? Our premarital counselor suggested for us to use phrasing such as "It is my expectation...." or "What can I do to help you remember to blah blah?" so far it's lessened the nagging and FH's more receptive, less issues too.

It's a nice effort that he's showering at the gym though... At least someone is paid to clean up his snot.

I'd probably flip out over this too...I'm totally grossed out now. DH and I actually use separate showers in the house because it just works better with our morning schedules and routines so I'm DYING to know if he does this in his shower!!!

My husband and I have a similar issue (not the boogers). I ask him constantly to put his socks in the dirty clothes basket instead of leaving them on the floor. He thinks it's nagging. This may be where you're both coming from. You want to feel like he heard you and respects where you're coming from and picks up after himself while he feels like the constant requests aren't necessary and annoying. It's definitely an impasse; I would suggest talking about it and saying "after I shared my concerns with you about the shower, I thought we were on the same page. I'm upset because we've talked about this and nothing has changed. What is something that we could both do that is different from what we're doing now that will fix this so we don't fight about it anymore?" I think if you two come up with a solution together, he may feel more ownership of the issue and hopefully you won't have to experience that again! Be prepared though: he might come back with some comments about the texts and pictures of the offending object. He might have found that to be passive-aggressive, but his comments were passive-aggressive too. Good luck talking this one out!

Ew...

You are not crazy. Is it possible that he was embarrassed and constantly getting "caught" triggered him to react so... rudely.

My FH has a bad habit of leaving used tissues all around the house. Its gross. I don't want to touch your used tissue get up and walk the 20 or less feet to any trash can of your choosing. Its definitely growing pains of living with someone.

If I were you I would stop with the texts, no need to set a bad mood in the middle of the day, and just talk to him when he gets home and I would start out with "I know you're trying and I appreciate it but I need to feel comfortable in our shower too." and then insert a solution like a handkerchief that could go straight into the hamper after the shower, spraying the shower with a scrubbing bubbles or other form of disinfecting no scrub cleaner before he leaves the bathroom, etc.

Ewww. I wish I could offer more...

I'm sorry, I laughed the whole way through your post. It's gross yes but not worth a fight. Could you use the hand held to rinse out the shower before getting in to avoid any land mines?

EEEEEEEEEW.

He definitely needs to either stop blowing his nose in the shower, or clean up after himself.

Example: I tend to lose A LOT of hair in the shower. Sometimes, the water is still draining when I get out (to go off his "its still wet when I get out" comment)...I wait until its done draining and then clean up after myself because I am an adult.

Ew. Hope he starts cleaning up.

side note: DH does this as well, and it drives me crazy, but he ALWAYS rinses everything down.

I am super repulsed right now. Show him this thread so that he'll stop.