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Daniela
Just Said Yes July 2023

My guest is thinking it's okay to sell drugs at my wedding. i need some guidance.

Daniela, on April 29, 2023 at 1:52 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 32

So, I invited this woman to my wedding. She is... intense. People don't invite her to events for this exact reason. She is insisting on serving homemade liquor and marijuana at my wedding. Obviously that can't happen, but she just keeps pushing and pushing, to the point where she said something about wrecking my wedding dress if I didn't let her hand out drugs during the reception.

I am currently on good terms with her relatives and I kinda need it to stay that way, but I also can't have her giving out intoxicants during my reception. How do I stop her from doing this, or disinvite her without causing a strain on my friendship with her relative?

32 Comments

Latest activity by TylerJohnson, on April 12, 2024 at 7:56 AM
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece Online
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    Since you are close with her relatives I would explain to them your concerns. Tell them what this person is threatening (ruining your dress.. are you kidding me?!). Explain that drugs are strictly prohibited on the premises and under no circumstances can this person threaten YOUR event like this. And since you have tried to nicely explain/plead with her, and she had been non responsive, you feel there is no other option but to remove the threat to your wedding (ie, disinvite her). Tell them you value your relationship with them, and you hope they understand why you made this decision.
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  • Alyssa
    Super October 2023
    Alyssa
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    Is this not normal for others social circles? 馃


    I was just recently a +1 to a wedding where some moonshine and joints were being passed around.
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  • Alyssa
    Super October 2023
    Alyssa
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    Hit reply too fast


    But why is she coming in the first place if you know she acts like this and you don't want it? But just call (or have someone else or just threaten) the cops if she's passing out illegal drugs.
    • Reply
  • E
    Just Said Yes May 2023
    Eleanor
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    Good heavens. If there was ever a good reason to disinvite someone from your wedding, this would be it. Anyone threatening to wreck my dress would be out of there SO FAST.


    If people don't invite her to events "for this exact reason," I hope her relatives will be understanding if/when you express your reasoning. May be worth hiring a bouncer at the door, too. This is your special day and you deserve to enjoy it without stress & fear.
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  • C
    CM
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    Seriously? No, it's not normal for people to be making a profit off their own drug and alcohol sales at someone else's wedding. Nor is threatening a bride with ruining her dress unless she allows her to sell said drugs and alcohol.

    OP, If any of this is for real, then you have a choice to make between someone who is threatening to vandalize your wedding and your dress and... oh wait.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks
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    I would let her know that you've had no choice but to rescind the invitation sent to her, in the best interests of everyone's comfort and safety. Let her know that if she shows up she will be removed from the venue.

    Don't get drawn into debates or arguments about it, and stick to your guns.

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  • Alyssa
    Super October 2023
    Alyssa
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    Lmao I missed the word "sell" the entire time.


    Selling is definitely weird. But just like having a vape pen/joint isn't weird.
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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael
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    Just say your police friends might frown on the selling of drugs there

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  • C
    CM
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    At someone else鈥檚 wedding reception with the bride and groom鈥檚 entire family there? That鈥檚 still not normal in my circles, no.
    • Reply
  • C
    CM
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    Actually, it says she wants to 鈥渉and out鈥 and actually 鈥渟erve鈥 these things at the reception, which is still outrageous. I thought it previously said 鈥渟ell鈥 but could be mistaken. Again, it makes no difference. Even putting the potential legalities and the family nature of the occasion aside, it would be rude. That鈥檚 if you buy that anyone would do this.



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  • A
    Just Said Yes July 2023
    Areli
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    Girl at the end of fhe day is your wedding do whatever you want ... without thinking whats gonna happen...if the other people appreciated you then they will still be your friends .... I had also a lot of drama for not inviting certain people or no kids at the end its your wedding
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  • Daniela
    Just Said Yes July 2023
    Daniela
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    I can't disinvite her now. It's too much of a hassle, her granddaughter is the flower girl and her daughter is a close friend. I don't want to piss anyone off and potentially wreck a relationship. I am however going to have people at the wedding who will take any drugs from her if she tries to bring them.

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  • C
    CM
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    On the chance this is real, do you actually think it will be make anyone less angry and cause any less of a hassle if there's a scene at your wedding reception caused by forcibly removing this grandmother's stash of drugs?? And if your friend would condone her mother's behavior, including the threats, and not understand why you can't have her there, I think you ought to reevaluate your standards for a close friendship.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks
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    This woman threatened to damage your dress. I don't even care about how much security you have, that's enough to make me really worried about her behaviour and choices. I truly hope it goes OK for you.

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  • C
    CM
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    LOL, and I missed it in the thread title myself the second time!


    OP, this puts you, your entire wedding, and your guests at risk. I would say it鈥檚 worth the 鈥渉assle鈥 of uninviting her and risking a so called relationship with any person who would not completely understand.
    • Reply
  • Sidney
    Just Said Yes September 2023
    Sidney
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    Hire the security to stand outside your wedding
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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    K Chis
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    Inform all guests that intoxicants are not allowed during wedding. That way, if she tries to sell, at least someone will remember the rule that was made and it will lessen the chance of it occurring.
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  • K
    Super September 2023
    Kimberly
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    I would also consider how your other guests will feel, especially with children present. You鈥檙e looking at potential drama with one friend who might be upset if her mom is uninvited (but if she鈥檚 aware of her mom鈥檚 behavior and is a close friend, she should understand) vs all the rest of your guests feeling uncomfortable or upset because of drug use at your wedding, in front of kids. What people do on their own time is their decision, but as a wedding guest, I would want to be given advance notice that there will be illegal drug use at the reception (in which case I would decline the invitation because recreational marijuana is still illegal where I live so I could lose my professional license!!!). And if it鈥檚 homemade, if someone has a bad reaction, you could be liable because you鈥檙e the one who gave her permission to come in and sell. Not to mention if you might incur extra fees from your venue if they prohibit outside alcohol or marijuana on the premises. Flasks you can hide when people sneak alcohol into a dry wedding, the smell of weed is harder to cover up.
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  • Sarah
    Just Said Yes November 2023
    Sarah
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    What's more of a "hassle": telling her she's made threats to behave illegally and destroy your property so she's no longer invited...or run the risk of having your dress destroyed and racking up the legal consequences?

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  • Genevieveandjordan
    Just Said Yes April 2024
    Genevieveandjordan
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    Omg what an awful situation to be in. 馃檭 I would tell her that she is not invited if she can鈥檛 follow the law and be a decent guest. Alternatively, if she does show up, I would legit call the cops. It鈥檚 not your responsibility to deal with that on your wedding day!
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