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Beginner September 2019

My future in laws are no help.

FutureMrsVarrone, on March 15, 2018 at 10:41 AM

Posted in Planning 25

My fiancé and I are having our wedding Sept 6th 2019, at Perona Farms in Andover Nj. We are both super excited to celebrate us getting married but his parents are the exception. They are divorced and hate each other well his mother hates his father more but his father tolerates her anyways my parents are very excited to help us plan this wedding they already paid for venue but how do I go about asking for financial help for the other items for the wedding example The photographer, The rehearsal dinner which the groom side is supposed to pay for, and little odds and ends. We aren’t asking for a lot of money because we know that they don’t have it but a little bit helps. We would like to get his mother and his father and my parents together for a dinner to talk about the wedding but we don’t know how to bring up the subject of money and financial help has anybody been in the situation that could help!!!! please!!!!

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25 Comments

Dedicated April 2019
atlovecraft · on March 15, 2018 at 12:57 PM
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Are you an older bride? You keep saying old school and that makes me think you're from a different generation than other brides who are in their 20's-40's. Like everyone else mentioned, most weddings are paid for by the couple. You're quite lucky your parents are helping so much, but it sounds like you're going to have to pay for the stuff you refer to as the "groom's parents responsibility" yourself. No one is required to pay for anything for your wedding because now a days it really is luxury.
VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on March 15, 2018 at 1:12 PM
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You don't ask for anything. It's not their obligation to pay for an optional party you want to throw.
ETA: I think talk to text is pretty New Age rather than old school, but that's just me Honestly though, if you're seeking advice, it is helpful to be as readable as possible. You're asking for people to give their time to help you with suggestions, and they're telling you a better way to seek that advice. Perhaps consider it before dismissing it out of hand.
Champion October 2018
Kelly · on March 15, 2018 at 2:05 PM
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I agree with everyone else that it is rude to ask. When my FH and I got engaged his parents called my parents and they discussed budget and what each parent would contribute and then relayed that information to us. I understand we are very fortunate and most people don’t have this happen. If I were you I would see what is possible to set aside each month and start saving.

Beginner September 2019
FutureMrsVarrone · on March 15, 2018 at 2:21 PM
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Yes we are very fortunate that my parents have taken on such a big financial respondsibility and we are forever grateful for that, I know my mother was thinking about contacting my FH side and discussing options but once again she was like "I don't know, how to go about it" . Oh trust me, weve been saving! Ive taken on 3 jobs for this haha, But thank you for advice