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Beginner September 2019

My future in laws are no help.

FutureMrsVarrone, on March 15, 2018 at 10:41 AM Posted in Planning 0 25

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My fiancé and I are having our wedding Sept 6th 2019, at Perona Farms in Andover Nj. We are both super excited to celebrate us getting married but his parents are the exception. They are divorced and hate each other well his mother hates his father more but his father tolerates her anyways my parents are very excited to help us plan this wedding they already paid for venue but how do I go about asking for financial help for the other items for the wedding example The photographer, The rehearsal dinner which the groom side is supposed to pay for, and little odds and ends. We aren’t asking for a lot of money because we know that they don’t have it but a little bit helps. We would like to get his mother and his father and my parents together for a dinner to talk about the wedding but we don’t know how to bring up the subject of money and financial help has anybody been in the situation that could help!!!! please!!!!

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25 Comments

Latest activity by FutureMrsVarrone, on March 15, 2018 at 2:21 PM

Master June 2016
Sarah · on March 15, 2018 at 10:43 AM
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You don’t ask for money. If someone offers, you can accept, but you and FH are responsible for the costs of your wedding.
VIP June 2019
magnolia5 · on March 15, 2018 at 10:43 AM
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I didn't ask my inlaws. You should wait for them to offer. That's what I did. In this day and age, weddings are more commonly being paid by the bride and groom.
Super September 2019
An · on March 15, 2018 at 10:46 AM
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Yeah will echo PP's - your wedding is your financial obligation. In the past, traditionally the brides parents would be the ones paying, so maybe they are old fashioned and think this way. These days, most couples pay for the majority (or all) of their own wedding. Regardless, it is not appropriate to ask anyone for money, especially for a wedding which in reality is just an optional party.
Beginner September 2019
FutureMrsVarrone · on March 15, 2018 at 10:49 AM
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Thank you. I didn’t know. I guess I’m going off the traditional wedding... we are paying for a lot of it.
VIP June 2017
Dolores Umbridge · on March 15, 2018 at 10:49 AM
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You don't ask for money. If they offer, great. If they don't you pay. It's your wedding after all. Its 2018, couples pay for their wedding most of the time now, not grooms side vs brides side responsibilities.
Super May 2018
Jen · on March 15, 2018 at 10:49 AM
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I agree with PPs. You don't ask them to pay for anything or ask them for money. If they want to help out, they will offer.
Beginner September 2019
FutureMrsVarrone · on March 15, 2018 at 10:49 AM
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Than you. I’m new to the whole plannin and I’m just used to the old school way.
Beginner September 2019
FutureMrsVarrone · on March 15, 2018 at 10:50 AM
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Yah I guess I’m used to the old school ways.
Beginner September 2019
FutureMrsVarrone · on March 15, 2018 at 10:50 AM
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Thank you.
Super July 2018
Brittany · on March 15, 2018 at 11:01 AM
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Lol my name is also Brittany and I'm from NJ as well! But to answer your question... nowadays most brides and grooms pay for the wedding themselves. Sometimes families offer to contribute, my parents gave us some money towards it but we're paying most on our own. But some families don't contribute a dime. My fiance's mom doesn't work so she hasn't offered us any money of course, but honestly it's better that way. My parents are awesome and don't try to have a say in the wedding, but my fiance's mom wouldn't be like that if she did have money. Based off how crazy she is driving us with picking out a dress for herself... she'd be a nightmare if she tried to control our wedding planning. We'll be paying for our own rehearsal dinner (something the groom's family traditionally pays for) which sucks, but it is what it is. So unfortunately you can't just ask your fiance's parents for money. If they would like to contribute, they'll tell you,
Master October 2016
Mrs. Fall Bride · on March 15, 2018 at 11:08 AM
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Holy run-on sentence, Batman!
It's no one's responsibility to pay for any part of your wedding. If they offer, great! But if not, it's up to you to pay for it.
Beginner September 2019
FutureMrsVarrone · on March 15, 2018 at 11:15 AM
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Sorry I’m not here for grammar. It was talk to text. But thanks.
Master July 2017
Going to the chapel · on March 15, 2018 at 11:19 AM
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You'll get more readers and better responses if you use correct punctuation. Reading with such is much easier for comprehension.
Don't expect any money from the future in laws. Money comes with strings and sometimes those strings are hard to deal with.
Beginner September 2019
FutureMrsVarrone · on March 15, 2018 at 11:23 AM
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I get what you are saying but if you can’t read what I wrote then I don’t know what to tell you. I reread what I wrote and yes I have run on sentences so what. I asked for help and advice. Not criticizism.
Beginner September 2019
FutureMrsVarrone · on March 15, 2018 at 11:23 AM
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But yes I totally get what you are saying.
VIP June 2019
magnolia5 · on March 15, 2018 at 11:24 AM
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If you say period at the end of sentence, it usually adds a period. Just a tip!
Master October 2016
Mrs. Fall Bride · on March 15, 2018 at 11:37 AM
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Same with commas, exclamation marks, etc...
Expert April 2018
MrsBanks · on March 15, 2018 at 11:43 AM
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Never ask for money. That's rude and assumtuous. If thru offer to help fine. If not you pay die your wedding yourself.
Expert April 2018
MrsBanks · on March 15, 2018 at 11:45 AM
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I misspelled everything too because I'm at work in a hurry lol you're not alone

Beginner September 2019
FutureMrsVarrone · on March 15, 2018 at 12:03 PM
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Thank you!!! I’m at work too! And I just quick said it via talk to text before customers came in, because I wanted advice! But instead I’m getting lectured for punctuation. It’s a shame that women constantly are putting other women down.

But any ways. Thank you for your advice. I’m not trying to be rude with asking. I am just old school I guess. Not with the whole new age stuff. But thank you!!