My fiancées ex-wife has to be contacted for Catholic annulment

Jacinda,

Your wrong about slowing down the proceedings because it does!!!

No paperwork came for him to fill out and send back to help her so why reach out to him. Does it matter to the ex if the previous wife applied for an annulment or not???

TRUST ME. A letter out of the blue to my husband came and she expressed she needed his help after 40 yrs. earlier they were married as she replied it seems so hard to believe that it was 40 years ago, we were married. Making it personal to me, as she had stayed in touch with him all along! I was furious!

That is why she sent letters out to 6 previous residences we lived in and wished his mother well who had died of cancer the year before. I think this is so ridiculous as why does after the divorce and she is already married to another man for 10 years or more she now wants to receive the sacraments in church?

I was floored because she wouldn't stay out of our marriage when she remarried, calling at work and home sending birthday gifts and calling on their wedding day!

The problems she caused in our marriage were outrageous as he wanted her back and she refused but now wants his help!!

I also spoke to her after first meeting him and asked some questions about him and she refused to respond as if I were intruding in her marriage that he cheated on her with a friend of hers! I asked for some girl code info with two small children I wanted to know a little more about his past since she was still involved in our lives very much with work and home calls.

She refused to answer any questions, so when I got the letter and we read it together, he had a choice help her or keep me because I was fed up with her need to have him in her life still. After changing jobs of 25 years, she always knew where to reach him until we moved to another state.

I was floored and mad that she was now back in our lives! None of this made sense other than she said the process goes faster if the ex is involved and she wanted him to come there before the committee to speak, and sign papers and give the reason due to children when he couldn't have children. I was a little shocked that he was not catholic and she was, and they were allowed to marry in the catholic church but now you interrupt my life with your needing my husband's help! You have been in our life a long time until we moved you were finally gone and only to need his help, so if she really didn't need his help to speed along the process why did she bother sending out 8 letters to various places trying to find him?? Thinking one was his mother's address it was, she was dead than.

I think asking the ex to come back into your life to help is the wrong thing for a catholic church needs to ask the person who wants to receive the sacraments!

Especially if it can be done without the previous spouse! It only starts trouble in the current marriage seeing how she could not let go when she left him from the start! I just came across that letter yesterday and today this article and can't understand why she even bothered to write as if I would help her after she refused to help me when I needed some help! She was on her own as I have the letter still, but he thinks it was trashed! I am furious with her for intruding into my marriage when she has for so many years after remarrying herself!

So does the church require reaching out to the ex or was it her choice to "speed the process along" those were her words she did not want to interrupt our marriage or cause a problem as she had for many years already and just when I thought we lost her here she comes asking for his help!

"THIS TIME HE CHOSE ME OVER HER"! Sorry little lady, you lost him a long time ago and played with his feelings for a long time, but you are dead to him now so leave us alone after our marriage and relationship of 40 years!

Your marriage has been annulled you are the past so stay there please!

That makes so much sense rather than involve your spouse now in something that doesn't even involve her because she isn't a catholic and could give two cents rather she could receive her sacraments or not just stay out of my life, thought I had made it out and away from her only she found me again to start some more trouble in my now marriage and relationship of 40 years! Happy it was an open discussion with my wife and chose to let her deal with it on her own. We never had classes, or anything like my now wife said is usually required in a marriage if it is a catholic wedding she is a Baptist, so my 1st wife and I never had counseling or anything like I have heard is required is this all true? Questions are asked, and couples go through some classes etc. we never did that so why bother me now!

It was nothing but a way to stir up more trouble in my now marriage which I am happier in than with her "I CAN TRUST HER" but seeing now how my first wife acted after our divorce she was like a leach, I couldn't get rid of!

She also asked me to file for the divorce (I lived in another state) when she worked for an attorney, made no sense but I wanted it over so did it but just kept us in contact with each other even more and that did not make my new wife to be very happy!

Catholic churches should not make other spouses go back into the past and destroy other marriages if they can't forgive the first marriage for one spouse to receive the sacraments then they have a serious problem with their rules and should of never married us if I was not of a catholic religion!