My fiance sees no point in buying a wedding band

This is concerning, especially the last bit. Please make sure he cares about your happiness!!

Perhaps explaining to him why a wedding band is so important to you will help. You may want to also present options to him: you're willing to pay 50%, cut something from the wedding or honeymoon to help cover costs, etc.

I'm just keeping my e-ring. I don't like the look of a wedding band (too clunky on my fingers). But I think the wedding band is traditional for many brides and if it's important to you, then he needs to be open to finding a solution that works for both of you and not just close the door on a decision.

I was all with him until those last three sentences. He treats himself to SKI WEEKENDS but won't spring for $1000 on a wedding ring when you are, you know, getting married?

Get into counseling NOW to discuss money, feelings about money and the rest.

"Deep down I know it is just not that important to him." This breaks me heart a little bit, actually. Your own future hubby is does not feel your wedding ring is important? Ouch.

I'm so sorry... my husband is quite the opposite. His parents were very frugal and his father passed away at 61 without being able to enjoy the money he had put away. It's an experience that has made my husband say if he has the money, he wants to be able to enjoy life. Our bills are always paid and we are saving what we can but he defiitely spends more than I'm comfortable with sometimes (I am also very frugal and the dollar signs give me anxiety). We do probably more than we should, and we certainly aren't debt free (I also haven't worked in over a year because I am back in grad school again) but we have plans with how to manage the money I'll make when I start working.

I agree that if you two can't talk about this together, it's time to get some outside help to process this and future money management decisions. I am with you, I cut my hair like... once a year because of the expense but I would love to bump it up to twice a year when I start working. I would have an issue if that wasn't acceptable in my relationship moving forward.

So is FH planning to wear a band himself?

If he refuses to buy you a freaking wedding ring, then he surely can't be angry about how you spend YOUR OWN money. I would say get into premarital counseling ASAP. His opinion isn't the only one that matters.

I was somewhat understanding through most of your post. Your last couple of sentences though broke my heart.

Are you SURE that you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who apparently delegates your happiness to that below his own? By his logic, any ski weekend taken is money that is wasted as all he'll have is memories, not even something he can re-sell. PLEASE please please get into counseling asap and decide if you want to be a second class citizen in your own home for the rest of your life (given the logic you think he has).

His priorities are not in the right place and this sounds very selfish to me. I agree with others that you should get some counseling so he can hopefully see his actions from your point of view.

I agree with this. I am extremely frugal with money and will not spend money on myself but I will come off my wallet more and spend money on my loved ones. While I am guarded with my money because I have been that person in the grocery store adding up change because I was broke, I understand there needs to be a balance between preparing for the unknown future and enjoying life in the present.

The fact that A) FH will spend on a ski trip but want listen to your needs/desires and B) you are both doing well and he still has a mentality of not being able to spend ANY money (I understand not going out and living large) is very concerning. Especially when it is something so symbolic.

I feel like you are being reasonable and not trying to be extravagant at all. Your FH really needs to realize the balance in life between planning for the future and enjoying yourself in the present.

I wish you the best of luck.

Sorry, but this sounds like really controlling behavior, and like he thinks you get no say here. I don't like that.

I sincerely hope you keep separate checking accounts, and that you have full, uninhibited access to YOUR income at all times.

I highly agree with the suggestions for counseling.

I think it is something that is apart of weddings. If he did not want to agree to what it entails he should not have committed. I agree that you guys need to have a serious talk about cheap, frugal, and finances.

PS 1,000 for a wedding band is ridiculous!

I think some couples counseling is in order here. You guys need to come up with a plan on how you treat your finances going forward. It's concerning to me that he's allowed to spend money on ski weekends but you can't get something that you really want. I think that you each should be able to spend your own money as it suits you. I'm all for saving, but you have to live and enjoy it to, or what's the point of it all, like Mrs. FB said. I think you should set percentages, whatever numbers work for you, but say for example, 50% of your income is for paying bills, 25% goes to savings, and 25% is discretionary, and you can each do what you like with your own share.

This kind of controlling behavior over money is what destroyed my parents marriage.

"PS 1,000 for a wedding band is ridiculous!"

It's actually not at all.