My fiance is 41 we have been engaged since Nov my family knows but he still hasnt told his family

I can understand that a little bit more. But he is still an adult and should tell his family ASAP. IF they don't like it....then oh well. Ya'll are in love and getting married either way, right?

I honestly would have been beyond pissed if my FH would have not told his parents we were getting married. They are all religious, I have not stepped into a church since I was 10 or 11 and I don't plan on it anytime soon. Religion and his parents' opinion shouldn't matter. They have met you before, right? So they were obviously ok with your relationship before so they shouldn't have a HUGE problem with you getting married.

I could see if he was 21 and afraid to tell because of their beliefs but 41!!!! Come on, he isn't a child nor a young adult, he is a grown man! I don't understand one single bit of this.

How long have ya'll been together? what is his exwife like(if he has one)? alot of things play into this. how long have you been engaged again? because, most men know that when a woman gets a ring, they won't be able to shut her up!!! to me, and this is only IMHO, that much secrecy, has a reason behind it. and it's not because he's private. also, i'm baptist, and these days, even the devoted ones views aren't so rigid. it's not like you're getting married in a church, and that would def upset them. but that's not what you want anyways...and it seems you 2 aren't even living together? at your age? maybe it is just me, but usually "older" couples, do live together, simply because age and experience dictates that they're mature enough for it. and i'd assume you have a large enough place at the moment for him, since you have a child(ren). **standing next to ladylee with a curious expression and a thousand thoughts**

You're 29 and have divorced for 10 yrs? So how old were you when you married because if I am doing the math right, you divorced when you were 19. I am all confused about this situation.

And with all of this, you plan on marrying in June? In 5 months? And no one knows? LOL sorry for laughing but this is just plain weird.

Glad I opened the floodgates of honesty

Just makes no sense to me mellojean, lol.

I dont want to sound rude but I am so confused. You said you got married at 19 and planned it in 3 months then you say your 29 and have been divorced 10 years so were you married and divorced in less than a year. Also this is a grown ass man for goodness sake. I am not what my husbands parents would have picked and he values there opinion but when it came to me he said he didnt care what they thought. They are very religious I dont like to step foot in church unless I must I have tattoos im not American im not racist or close minded like they all are and dont fit in at all but my husband loves me so much the second I said yes he was telling everyone so why doesnt your soon to be do the same??? Im very confused

Yes I was not married for that long. My ex husband and I were young, and just plain stupid. We did not try nor at that time did I want to, our marriage was nothing like my parents had been. There was constant arguing and neither one of us was happy. I got pregnant while married to him from my 2 youngest kids dad so we got divorced. Like that wasnt bad enough our divorced was finalized in Feb and he was remarried by that Fall. Turns out he had been talking to a person over the internet the whole time we were having problems. But anyways thats a different discussion. Turns out this Forum really has helped. I was telling my fiance what everyone was saying, and he finally came open with more info. We have dated on and off since 2004.And all his parents know about me is that I turned his cell phone off when we broke up and that I was talking to my youngest daughters bio dad when I found he was out of prison. They didn't know the history behind the bio dad but still I am way better then...

What they know about me. So for his lack of telling our business, his mom said I am 'fickle". Which really does describe me, but she doesn't even know really know me. So that just really upset me, but at least now I know why he has been slow to tell his parents. Because just in Oct he had told his mom he was thinking about walking away from the whole "ME" situation, and she had said yeah that would seem to be a good idea. Just because I was TALKING to my older daughters bio dad. Which he did not approve us because it could of landed me in prison. So then a month later to pop the question, will only make him look bad. And no he does not live with me, because when he had asked me to move in to his place for 900 a mth my kids grandmother had just offered me a trailer for free with lot rent at 349 so I thought it would be a perfect way for me to save and get a bigger place. So now he has his place, and I have mine. But we are going to move in together when we get married to a new house

I think you and your FH should wait for marriage. Don't get mad but it seems like there is way too much that is going on for you and him to be thinking marriage in just 5 months. If it is meant to be, then waiting will have no effect.

You had 2 children before 19? I agree with Traci. You need to have a stable life before you can make a marriage work with someone else. Way too much drama here.

No I had my first daughter when I was 19 the 2nd when I was 21 and the 3rd when I was 27. And I have a stable life, as stable as its going to get. This is my life, this is it has always been nothing will change in time except maybe more chaos. I was considered a single mom or i guess still am, and I work full time, go to school full time, 4 classes right now. I am a Girl Scout brownie leader and Daisy Leader. My oldest is a Junior, and I am very active in her troop. We go to church twice a week. We only have carry out once a wk which is Tuesday Pizza night. We go on girl scout trips once a month and we do family outings 2 to 3 times a month. My 2 youngest visit their dad every wknd. But my youngest is going to be adopted my my fiance when we tie the knot. My oldest daughter visits her dad every other wknd and every Monday and Thursday night. I am sure I am forgetting something, but I know this will never change. This is our life. But thank you for all your opinions and concerns.

From an outsider's perspective, it seems like you are rushing it, marriage to the altar and all. It is weird to me that your FH would ask you to pay $900 in rent...if a man loves a woman, wouldn't he want to take care of her or want to be with her, wherever she lives with her kids? It just seems so messy, but it must be so hard to be a single mom.......Anyway, taking the mom and future sib in laws out for a family dinner might be a nice way to break the ice and get to know each other more. I would not announce your engagement then. See how that goes and discuss with your FH after...then you can schedule another outing or get together. It seems like you started life early and are more spontaneous and go get em, whereas your FH is more steady, conservative, and slow. If he is that old, it's hard to change someone and also you shoud not strong arm him to change. Be flexible, understanding, and compromise too. IMHO