My fiance is 41 we have been engaged since Nov my family knows but he still hasnt told his family

I don't think you should surprise him with it. Guys get freaked out by stuff like that. If he hasn't told his family yet and it's 6 months (or 5) away, he must have a good reason... And are you sure your FH WANTS to adopt your youngest? Just tell him the option is now available, before you announce it in front of EVERYONE.

I agree with lucky^

Guys do tend to act weird about surprises; especially one as big as that. Maybe he'll be more open to the idea if you two do it together. Is there any particular reason why he hasn't told them? I mean, I was the last to know I was even getting engaged b/c my fiance went to both our families when he was ready to pop the question.

Also... nice wedding day!

Yeah I know they freak...i told him about my dream, and even in that I told him his face turned red from embarrassment. And yes I am sure he wants to adopt her he nags me almost as much as I nag him about telling his family we are getting married.

Cool, then surprise him about the adoption. But definately tell him how much it means to you to share this special day with his family. After all, after you're wed, they'll be YOUR family too! Once you share from the heart what it means to you; instead of nagging him about telling his family, maybe the conversation will be different.

He picked our wedding day it is between both of our birthdays. I noticed yours too Cathasach. He is just really cautious. Not sure if that is the right word. But we are a lot different when it comes to some things. Like I like to tell anybody that will listen my business but on the other hand he doesn't let anyone know what is going on in his life. He is a very quiet person. Some think he is shy, but I know different. Even when he is with his family I notice that he keeps the conversation strictly on point about what they are talking about. I never hear him discuss anything personal in public.And he doesn't have any close friends either. My kids and I are all he has, and I am the only one that knows the "loud" side of his personality. We would of never even started dating back in 04 if I hadnt finished his sentence. I was his first gf since H.S. and only the 2nd gf his family had met.

We chose our wedding day b/c it's between our birthdays too! LOL

Hope everything works out.

Just tell him he needs to get together his half of the guest list, and that you'll need to send out invites soon. Then ask him if he wants to announce the wedding to his family, or just surprise them all with save the dates or invitations. p.s. if you haven't sent out save the dates yet, you might want to get on it.

Thanks luckyones. I told him I don't mean to nag him about it, but it is holding up numerous things. His dad buys houses and is always asking my fiance if he wants one of them. In the past his answer was always no bc he was thinking about my girls, and didnt like either the location or the size. But last week his dad bought a house that he wants. All he told his dad was he liked it but didnt tell him he wanted it. I havent even seen it yet, but we have similar taste and I want it plus I want to have a backyard wedding. I can't have a backyard wedding if I don't have a backyard. And I can't have a backyard if he doesn't tell his dad he wants the house. And I can't plan my wedding if I don't have the place I want it at. Which I explained to him better, but he said I know but its not up to me and everything would have to work out perfectly for the house to be ready by June to have the wedding there and he said he can't promise that.

Tiffany, honestly the date is only 5-6 months away, it's crunch time. It can be stressful to plan a wedding in 1 yr. I can't imagine what it's like in 6 mos. Especially, if you don't even know the location yet. June is a very popular time for weddings, and if you are planning on having anything that needs booking (ie, catering, entertainment, tables and chairs, flowers) you need to do it NOW. Otherwise you risk not having your first choice. Just something to think about.

I personally would surprised him with it. But the family needs to know what you two's plans are. Do you get along with his family? I could understand being nervous about telling his family but if you are to be wed in june (is it this june coming), then they would pretty much have to know unless you plan on eloping. It will be fine. I think the dinner idea is good. Maybe you should invite your family so you could have some extra support just in case the reaction is not what you want it to be. Good Luck Hun

Thanks I'll tell him when he comes over after work. I didn't even think I had to send them out this early. Although I have already begun to tell my friends and family the date and have been searching for my old quartet friends...only one left to get a hold of. I really want them to play at the wedding.

@2lovebirds the only problem with surprising him in front of everyone at dinner, is that if he has an adverse reaction, tiffany will feel really bad, even embarassed if his reaction is not what she thought it would be. Ive been with my FH 5 years, and sometimes I think I know what his reaction will be to certain things, and it is completely the opposite. Even when you think you know someone, they can be having a bad day, or you could catch them off gaurd, or they could be thinking something completely different from you. This is a really important matter, it needs to be handled with care

You dont HAVE to send them out NOW, but at least do it in the next month or two, so people can make plans. B/C you are doing this end of june, you have to warn people who may be planning their summer vacations!

I planned my first wedding when I was 19 in 3months. And he doesn't really want to have a big church wedding, he would be happy with justice of the peace. And then to just have a reception for our family and friends. But as I tell more and more people I want to have the ceremony and reception outside. I really did want it to be a surprise but it's hard for me to keep surprises.

Ehhhh how old are YOU? i only ask b/c you threw FH's age in the title. What is the reason he gives for needing to plan when to tell his family about your engagement? That makes no sense to me. I absolutely would not encourage you to make the announcement to his family. That is so far out of bounds I can't even begin to tell you. Hmmm the whole thing sounds a bit weird to me. I don't want to say anything.

He is an adult....I dont get it? He is 41 years old and can what he wants when he wants and how he wants. I'm with ladylee on this one.

Honestly, I'd be pissed if my FH kept his engagement to me a secret. And I know a lot of the other posters probably are thinking the same thing but are too nice to say anything. He's a grown man, he should have already told them. He does love you, right? He's not ashamed of you is he? Then he needs to get his ass in gear and do what any other man would have already done. Your enagement is something to be celebrated, not swept under the rug.

That was probably too honest. I have a problem with biting my tongue. Sorry if my words upset you.

They are devoted baptist so I do respect their morals in high regards to what they expect of a potential wife and i might not fall in that category. For example I am mixed mostly black and he is white and for some reason he thinks his parents are against interracial marriages. But when I ask him how he knows that like if they ever said that or if there are any examples he doesn't have any he says he just knows. And I know he values what his parents think, but at the same time I don't think that should hold up us starting our new life together as husband and wife.And I am a devoted Lutheran, but started my life a little earlier then he did. I am 29 now have been divorced for almost 10yrs now.

I don't like it one bit *crosses arms shaking head*