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Just Said Yes May 2020

My fiancé broke up with me 3days before the anniversary of our engagement. I'm so lost - trigger warning

Bri, on March 13, 2020 at 2:37 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 9
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I have CPTSD from child abuse, neglect, and abandonment from my mom her entire side of the family, since I was 12. I was bullied in school for being so awkwardly quiet due to the abuse. Also extremely depressed and anxious.

I feel like I'm falling apart. The anniversary of our engagement is tomorrow. We were supposed to get married. I had no idea. My dad talked to him and me and thinks that hes been stressed with work and took alot of unjust anger on me. I dont understand the not a good partner. I wasnt working so I understand financially things are hard, but I was really working hard at organizing and cleaning the home. I guess I could have done better, but I made a chore chart. Budgeted groceries and shopping. I'm still trying to get better at it. But no matter what I was there for him. He has taken time off several times due to nervous downs. I am so shocked and lost.
He went on a HOUSE TOUR with me 3 days before!! Sunday: House tour/saying we love itMonday: planning move/lease detailsTuesday: breakup?

I felt like I wanted to die initially. Now I just feel so disconnected. I'm moving out within a week. But god this hurts so badly. I was ALWAYS there for him. I always made sure he was fed. Made him breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, anything. I took care of our animals(I'm keeping the dog!). I just cant understand his ability to drop me. Luckily my dad is an amazing support and got a flight out immediately.
I feel like my whole future just crumbled

9 Comments

Latest activity by Jo, on March 13, 2020 at 6:48 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Please please get help where you need it whether from friends family professionals. I am concerned for your well being from this post and I wish everything well for you. I’m so sorry this happened, just know that this could also be an opportune time to focus on yourself.


    People are like flowers .. they grow in their own ways and are beautiful and colorful each to their own. Your journey is still so bright and life has a lot of potential in it, you’re a beautiful flower who still has time to grow.
    Sending you positive vibes and hugs.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I am so sorry that this happen and it does feel horrible. However, whether you believe it or not you will move past this and maybe it is for the best. Did he explain to you why he decided that he no longer wanted to get married?
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  • L
    Super October 2020
    Leslie ·
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    Oh honey-I know it’s hard right now. I promise you it will get better. Please reach out to get help. If you don’t have the resources to pay for a counselor, please check with local, county or state authorities. I went to counseling over a year after a horrible breakup. It was the best thing to happen to me. Take care of yourself and learn to love yourself. I wish you love and peace my friend. .

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  • B
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Bri ·
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    He just said I wasnt a "good enough partner" but I dont get it because I was taking care of all the home stuff.
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  • Alexandria
    Savvy June 2020
    Alexandria ·
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    Oh dear that must be such a disorienting and horribly painful thing. All I can say is try not to question yourself. His leaving was all about him and not at all you. Please take care of yourself and understand nothing truly leaves us if it is meant for us. You deserve someone who would not just abruptly end things with you.


    As someone with Cptsd as well. Please seek therapy and support systems. Friends etc.
    • Reply
  • S
    Expert October 2020
    Shaina ·
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    I am really sorry that this has happened to you. This is the worst feeling ever. I am a person with high anxiety and depression as well. When something goes wrong it feels like the whole world is falling apart and there is nothing we can do. However, I know its hard you just need to take a step back a bit and just breathe( i know you hear it all the time) but its a lot of racing thoughts all at once. Try to talk to him when you have cooled down and ask him why he decided to break it off :/.


    I really hope you feel better soon.

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  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
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    You are bringing yourself down and making excuses by saying “I guess I could have done better”. You did all that you could by being an amazing partner, helping your guy out where you could and taking care of him.


    He does NOT deserve you. You need someone who will take care of you, who will want to give you the whole world. I know it’s hard to believe when I say he’s not your man because you’re sad, but when you heal and can look back you will see that he was not the one for you.
    Take care of yourself first. Be with family and friends who support you. We are here for you, your WW community if you need to talk too!
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Apparently he was not the one for you and you deserve to be with someone that loves you for who you are and every piece of you.
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  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo ·
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    I am so so terribly sorry for all the pain you're feeling, Bri. You're in mourning for the future you were building toward, and it can be so hard to see that you will get through this. I absolutely recommend sticking close to the people who love and support you, as well as speaking to someone, like a family member, friend, or especially a counselor, to help you navigate this transition. There are many free and confidential counseling hotlines and websites out there as well, like 7 Cups of Tea , Mental Health America , the NSPL , or these resources from the Office on Women's Health. And of course this community will be here for you! Hug your dog close, lean on your support network, and ask for help when you need it. I'm so sorry.

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