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Just Said Yes August 2019

My Brother in Law Pushed Me Into the Water and Ruined Our Wedding Day

Jessica412, on August 17, 2019 at 12:41 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 6

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Yesterday was my wedding day. It's a long story so I'll try to keep it to the point. My brother in law has autism. We usually get along well but he has serious impulse control problems and is often getting himself into trouble. I hope I don't sound like I'm disparaging someone with something they can't control but what he did ruined our wedding day and really hurt me. We had just arrived at our wedding venue with the bridesmaids and were going to take a few pictures around the golf course. I went but the lake with my sister and bff to get a picture and my brother in law thought it would be funny to push all three of us into the water while laughing hysterically. It's worth noting that all of the guests were inside the hall and waiting for us at this point. I was so shocked I almost drowned and everybody was freaking out. My husband started going off on his brother and he had to be kicked from the venue (his brother not my husband.) The water was muddy and gross and ruined our entire outfit. We had to go into the bathroom to try to clean up the best we could because we only had a limited amount of time in the venue and this would be our only chance to get everyone together. I was so humiliated I couldn't stop crying. My shoes were ruined, my dress was ruined, my hair and makeup was ruined. I had to wash off all of my makeup and I didn't even have my makeup bag to redo it. My hair was so wet all I could do is comb it down instead of the cute hairstyle I picked. We didn't have any other clothes or shoes with us so we had to wear our soaking wet dresses and go barefoot inside the freezing cold wedding hall. After all the time and money we spent getting ready we all looked like we just got out of the shower. Finally we entered the wedding hall almost an hour late. We already missed the ceremony so we had to do it during the reception. The ceremony went well but was overshadowed by the dunking incident, and the fact that I looked like a wet rat. The rest of the wedding went more smoothly. We had dinner and did the toasts and dances. I tried to have a good time but couldn't stop thinking about what happened. The moment I should have wanted to last forever couldn't be over soon enough. It wasn't just the messed up look I was upset about, my husband pretty much disowned his brother and his mom couldn't be there to see him get married. I just wanted our wedding to be perfect and everything went wrong. I wish I could have stopped my brother in law from doing what he did but it was so out of nowhere we didn't expect him to do it when he knew how special this day was for us. I feel so bad for my husband having to deal with this on the day he worked so hard to make perfect and I feel horrible for my friend who came all the way from California and has rosacea having to take her makeup off during a formal wedding. I probably look horrible in all of the pictures so I wouldn't even want to show them to anyone. Anyway, sorry for the terribly written rant. I'm just so distraught over this I don't know what to do anymore. What would you do if this happened to you?

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Jessica412, on August 17, 2019 at 1:41 PM

Expert November 2019
Keri · on August 17, 2019 at 12:57 PM
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There are no words. I'd be feeling the same. My heart is breaking for you. I am a special education teacher so I am very familiar with children and adults with special needs. Even though he has a disability, that must have been an awful experience and something hard to forgive.

While you can't re-do your wedding. I would consider taking professional pictures again with hair and make up and your dress (if that is an option).

People say the worse the wedding, the better the marriage. I hope that is true for you.
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on August 17, 2019 at 12:57 PM
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Oh no I'm so sorry that happened to you. I cant even imagine the hurt you're feeling.
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Dedicated November 2019
Amy · on August 17, 2019 at 1:33 PM
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Uggg girl! I am so sorry this happened! I cant imagine how I would react. I def agree with a PP..you should absolutely have your dress cleaned, hair and makeup done and go with you husband and have some wedding photos taken. I hope that one day this will be some crazy story you can tell your kids about and have a laugh over..maybe?
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Expert July 2019
Mary · on August 17, 2019 at 1:38 PM
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I'm so sorry! I know there is so much anticipation leading up to the day and to have that happen is heartbreaking. I agree with PPs in looking for options to have a re-do of formal wedding photos with the cleaned dress and hair and make-up that you wanted.
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Super September 2019
Kim · on August 17, 2019 at 1:38 PM
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I am truly sorry this happened to you. We all know that it is not entirely your brother in law's fault, but I would feel the same way. I could almost feel the hurt and disappointment through your words. But you toughed it out and finished the whole event! I don't even know how I would compose myself to go through the whole event and face everybody, acting like nothing happened. I agree with the PP. I think the next best option for you is to retake photos with your husband with your dress and hair and make up.
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